


Three Words Haunt Me Now

by tumblruserpailylove



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Divorce, Drama, Ex Sex, F/F, Family Drama, Flashbacks, Hurt, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Injury, Las Vegas Wedding, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Sequel, Triplets, charlie is kinda an ass, everyone is mad at someone, long lost lovers, oh my god they were roommates, rachel and santana are really good friends, santana rachel and quinn are roommates, some heterosexual bullshit, there is a lot of emotions in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 14:49:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 82,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tumblruserpailylove/pseuds/tumblruserpailylove
Summary: Sequel to my story "With three there is never just you and me." It's five years after high school and the world we left is very different now. See what the triplets and their lady friends are up to when they all come together for an unexpected wedding. Very Santana/Charlie centric. Angst/language/hurt/comfort. Lots of pezberry friendship.





	1. One more knife in my back

**Author's Note:**

> (Just moving my old works from ffnet to here)  
> (I have not re-read or edited any of my old works so sorry if they're horrible)  
> (The formatting on this one is awful I apologize. I don't have the hours to sit around taking out all the spaces)

A yawn ripped out of Santana’s mouth as she pushed the door to the loft closed. Kicking off her shoes she let out a groan before dropping her bag and keys on the table near the door. She was glad it was Friday. The week had been Hell and she was ready to relax. “Berry? Are you home?” She called out as she walked to the fridge for something to drink. When she got no answer she glanced at the microwave clock and realized it was after six. She was probably already at the theater. “Q?” She perked an eyebrow and when there was still silence she smiled. She had the place to herself.

 

It wasn’t that she hated living with Rachel, and Quinn on the weekends she managed to be home, but she definitely liked having the place to herself. No cute coupley stuff to watch at dinner, no sappy movies, and no talking in the next room until three in the morning. If she wanted to be up that late she would go out.

 

With the place to herself she plopped onto the couch, kicked her feet up on the coffee table, something Rachel always scolded her for, and grabbed the remote. Time to catch up on all the shows Rachel hates. She was fast forwarding through some commercials at the beginning of one of her shows when she noticed a pretty envelope near her feet on the table. She sat up straight and reached for it without hesitation. She was nosy and no one was there to stop her. Besides it was probably an invite to another lame Broadway party. Rachel got so many of those she probably didn’t blink at them anymore.

 

Half glancing at the tv, she pulled the card out of the envelope then started reading the gold lettering. That is when her hand went cold. “We cordially invite you to celebrate the marriage of Judith and Preston.” Santana blinked a few times then gave her head a shake of disbelief. It took her a moment to process but finally she mumbled “Shit. She is getting re-married.”

 

She re-read the invite a few times then flipped over the envelope to see that it had been addressed to only Quinn. Santana let out a huffed laugh “no wonder it says she can bring a guest.” Although Judy didn’t treat her daughter’s girlfriends like they were invisible scum anymore she did tend to exclude them “accidentally.” It was still a bit of a touchy subject even after all the years that had passed.

 

Santana shook her head and tossed the invite back onto the table before kicking back once more. She was glad she didn’t have to go. Just as she was getting comfortable again the door slid open and Quinn came into the loft. Santana sat up again and gave her a smile “Hey, you’re home! I thought you’d go see Rachel first.”

 

“Seen it” Quinn mumbled and pulled her suitcase across the kitchen floor toward her bedroom. “She doesn’t expect me to see her in the play every weekend.”

 

“You used to” Santana shrugged and set down her water before standing and moving over to help Quinn with her bag. 

 

“Yeah that was when she first got the role. It’s been a year now. I’ve seen her so many times I think I could play the role.”

 

“You and me both” Santana mumbled with a laugh as she settled the suitcase on Quinn’s bedroom floor with a thud. She watched Quinn flop onto her bed and shook her head “Why do you lug this home every weekend? They have laundry mats in New Haven, don’t they?”

 

“Don’t be dumb. I have the means to do it here, why would I pay to do laundry there?”

 

“Convenience?” Santana offered with a shrug.

 

Quinn rolled her eyes then laughed. She was right. Doing her laundry at school would be easier. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head “Rach likes doing my laundry” she admitted.

 

Santana perked an eyebrow and let out a laugh “You are so whipped.”

 

“I am not.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes with a smirk “Okay, whatever you say.”

 

“I’m not! She just likes doing it. Says it makes her feel close to me since she doesn’t get to see me everyday.”

 

“Fine” Santana lifted her hands in surrender. “Whatever you say.”

 

“Get out” Quinn threw a pillow at Santana, which she dodged then ducked out of the room with a laugh. Quinn rolled her eyes in annoyance then smiled. It was weird but it made Rachel happy so it was the least she could do.

 

“Hey, Q?” Santana’s voice broke through Quinn’s thoughts as she entered her room again. This time with something in her hand. 

 

When Quinn sat up and spotted what she held, she let out a sigh “Yeah?”

 

“You going?” Santana asked as she sat on the edge of the bed and handed it to Quinn.

 

Quinn nodded and took the invite, her eyes looking at the gold lettering before she shrugged and looked at her friend “I kind of have to. I mean, it’s my mother’s wedding. I can’t miss it.”

 

Santana lifted a shoulder in half of a shrug then looked at her friend “Think it’s going to be weird?”

 

“No weirder than coming home for Christmas to see him cooking dinner with her and her acting like we should have expected it even though none of us knew she was seeing someone.” Quinn’s voice held a bitter bite to it. The entire subject of the divorce and her mother’s new husband to-be was still rather sore for her. Just like everything in life, Judy had not handled telling her girls about him appropriately.

 

Santana sighed and put a hand on her friend’s leg. She remembered how the divorce had affected everyone. That had been a hard time for not only the Fabray girls but everyone around them too.

 

Quinn shook her head and tossed the invite aside “It just sucks that Rach can’t go.”

 

“Why not?” Santana was surprised to hear that, to say the least.

 

Quinn just shrugged “She can’t get the time away from the play. So I am going alone.”

 

“Q” Santana gave her leg a squeeze and pouted “You won’t be alone. Your family will be there.”

 

“Hey! What are you doing?” Quinn perked up as if she hadn’t even registered what Santana had been saying.

 

“Ohhhh no” Santana shook her head and gave Quinn a firm glare. “No way.”

 

“San” Quinn whined out.

 

“No” Santana stood up from the bed now “Way too weird! You are just gonna have to go alone.”

 

“Santana...” Quinn now sing songed her name and gave her a sweet smile.

 

Santana laughed and shook her head “No. Q, I’m sorry, but no. I’m not going to put myself through that.”

 

Quinn pouted her bottom lip out and gave a fake sniffle. “Please? It won’t be that weird.”

 

“I haven’t talked to her in two years.”

 

Quinn sighed and held her pout. She watched her friend from across the room and her pout turned into a genuine frown when she saw the pain on her face. “San, I know. But you won’t have to talk to her. I’ll be there. Britt and Dana will be there. I’m sure it would mean a lot to my mom.”

 

Santana curled her lip at the corner. She had been like a second mother to Santana since middle school. Even if she had handled the whole gay thing badly she had still supported Santana. Finally she rolled her eyes and sighed “For your mom.”

 

Quinn smiled widely at that “I love you, Santana Lopez!”

 

“Yeah, you better.” Santana shook her head and waved her hand as she left the room.

 

“Hey, where you going?”

 

“I gotta pack” Santana called behind her ducking into her own room now. This was the last thing she expected she would be doing this weekend. She hoped Quinn was right. She hoped she could avoid speaking to Charlie for the next few days. Even after two years she was not ready to face her. How do you look into the eyes of the person who shattered your heart into a million pieces? What do you say? Hopefully she wouldn’t have to find out.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

_ “How could you do this to me?” Santana’s voice cracked, giving away the fact that she was fighting off tears. _

 

_ Charlie just shrugged. She had no answer, at least not one she was willing to share just yet. _

 

_ Santana shook her head as tears finally broke forth and slowly trickled down from her eyes. “I don’t think I can ever forgive you for this.” She wiped at a tear on her cheek quickly then pointed to her dorm room door “get out. I never want to see you again.” _

 

_ “Santana, I-” _

 

_ “Out!” There was fury behind Santana’s eyes that Charlie had never seen before. She knew this was probably the last time she would ever see Santana Lopez. It was only now in this instance that she regretted her actions.” _

 

“You ready, San?” Quinn’s voice was soft as she broke into Santana’s memory. It was early the next morning, too early, and they had a flight to catch.

 

Santana cleared her throat and pushed away the painful memory she had just been lost in before putting on a forced smile and turning now to face her friend “Yeah, let’s do this.” She knew the next few days were going to be ones that she never wanted to experience. “For Judy” she kept telling herself during the entire flight back to Lima. Back to a life she had given up the day Charlie had torn her heart from her chest.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“What the Hell? Where’s mom?” Quinn looked around as her arms circled her older sister.

 

“Good to see you too, sis” Dana laughed as she returned the hug then pulled back. “She’s busy with finishing touches for tonight. Where’s Rachel?”

 

“Good to see you too, bud” Santana mocked Dana’s tone from a moment ago then laughed and offered her a hug as well. “What? No more funky colors?” She asked with a smirk as she pulled back from the hug and flicked a lock of Dana’s dyed black hair.

 

“Apparently it’s unprofessional.” Dana shrugged then gave her a smile. “Good to see you. It’s been too long.”

 

“Yeah” Santana nodded and the old friends share a look that said it all. Dana still felt bad about Charlie.

 

“Rachel has her show” Quinn shrugged. “Where’s B?”

 

“She is making a circle with the car. Didn’t wanna pay for parking.” Dana laughed then motioned to the doors she had come through. “Better go see if she is back, don’t want her getting yelled at by security for sitting too long.” The girls all nodded in agreement before grabbing their bags and heading for the doors.

 

“Santana Lopez?” Brittany squealed from the driver’s seat, through the open window, when she saw the girls come out of the door. She nearly pushed the door off it’s hinges as she got out of the car and quickly made her way around the trunk to meet them at the curb. She wrapped herself around Santana in a fierce hug as soon she was within arms reach. The hug nearly knocked Santana off her feet there had been so much momentum in it.

 

“Hey, Britt” Santana laughed softly and wrapped her arms around her old friend. “Good to see you.”

 

“I had no idea you were coming!” The blonde pulled back from the hug now and was beaming ear to ear with a smile.

 

“Surprise” Santana offered with a smile that matched her friend’s. “It was kind of last minute but I think I’m glad I came.”

 

“Well I know I’m glad” The blonde giggled then turned to Quinn who was already putting her bag in the trunk of the car. “And Quinn! Look at you. You look so adult!”

 

Quinn looked at herself and laughed. She was wearing comfortable traveling clothes. Her hair was pulled up into what had become her signature bun that looked very clean and neat but she definitely wasn’t as done up as she usually was. “Hey, B” she said softly and opened her arms for a hug.

 

Brittany gladly accepted and the two girls held each other a moment before breaking off and sharing a smile. “I am so happy to see you. This is so crazy. I can’t believe mom is getting married again.”

 

Quinn nodded and let out a huff of a laugh “You and me both.”

 

“Can we go?” Dana asked while shutting the trunk after helping Santana put her bag in there as well. “That airport security dude has been giving us the stank eye.”

 

“Yes, please” Santana nodded, already opening the back door to get into the car. “I’m starving. Can we stop for breakfast?”

 

“Mom already has the caterers there.” Dana mumbled as she got into the passenger seat and immediately buckled her seatbelt, a habit that was definitely new. “She wants everyone that is helping set up to be fed all day. She said hungry workers get lazy and she wants today to be perfect.”

 

Santana just nodded and let out a laugh to herself. That sounded like Judy alright. Quinn and Brittany settled in now and after checking her mirrors, Brittany pulled away from the curb and they were on their way.

 

It was a fairly quiet ride back into Lima. There was small talk about how the flight had gone, what everyone was up to, and even how weird it was that they were going to a wedding for Judy. No one thought she would ever get re-married with how the first marriage had ended. 

 

Suddenly Brittany looked into the rearview mirror and cocked her head to the side a bit “Wait, where’s Rachel?”

 

Santana perked an eyebrow and smiled. Good to see some things hadn’t changed. Brittany hadn’t always been the quickest on the uptake but it had always been adorable.

 

“She got stuck doing the play. She couldn’t get the time off.” Quinn shrugged, her eyes glued to the window as she watched her old childhood hometown pass by.

 

“That’s a bummer” Brittany frowned then looked at Santana. “At least that means you got to come.”

 

“Quinn was very convincing” Santana mumbled and gave her friend a playful shove across the car.

 

“Never could say no to a pretty girl could you?” Dana chirped with a smirk on her lips.

 

Santana reached forward and flicked her friend in the back of the head. “You’re one to talk.”

 

Dana rubbed the back of her head with a scowl then glanced at Brittany and offered a smile “Just one pretty girl.”

 

“One since Sophomore year. Don’t forget about all the girls before that.” Santana smirked.

 

“Hey” Dana turned now to look at her friend with a glare. “You’re one to talk.”

 

“Girls” Brittany said loudly, silencing them both. It was a trick she used with her kids all the time and it still surprised her it worked on adults too. Being a teacher had actually taught her a lot about controlling a room full of people and bringing order to chaos. “Let’s not. The past doesn’t matter now. Besides, the past makes us who we are today. I have no problems with Dana’s past. I didn’t have the cleanest record when we got together either.”

 

Dana and Santana both just nodded. She was right. No need to delve into the past. It was just a habit, though, to pick on each other and make snarky remarks to get a rise out of the other. Good to see that some habits never died, even if they hadn’t hung out regularly since high school five years ago.

 

A silence fell over the car again as each girl fell into their own different thoughts. As Brittany navigated the car, Dana would make little remarks to her about her driving. Little things like reminding her to use her blinker, double checking to see if a lane was open before telling her it was clear, and reminding her not to follow the car ahead of her too closely.

 

Santana watched them interact for a few moments and suddenly the seatbelt made sense. Dana was terrified of Brittany’s driving. She couldn’t blame her. Brittany was the last to get her license and no one liked when she drove. She had to admit, though, the driving had definitely gotten better since their junior year in high school.

 

Finally they were pulling into their old neighborhood where they had spent so much time as kids. Santana couldn’t help but smile a bit as she watched memories fly by her. They passed the school where they all graduated from, the old park where she had learned to ride her bike, and even the creepy old house on the end of the block that no one liked to walk by. Suddenly she felt calm about the trip home for the first time since Quinn had convinced her to come. She thought maybe it would be alright.

 

As Brittany parked in front of the Fabray house, which Judy had gotten in the divorce, Santana’s heart leaped. She was home. Obviously not her home, but close enough. She had spent a good majority of her high school years here. The girls all piled out of the car and were unloading the trunk when another car pulled up across the street. Quinn and Santana both turned to see who it was. Dana and Brittany, on the other hand, froze in what they were doing and braced for impact, so to speak, and for good reason. The car was turned off and the driver stepped out soon after. That’s when Santana’s heart dropped to her feet. Standing across the street from her was Charlie Fabray.

 

Charlie froze when her eyes fell across the street and saw Santana standing there. She was the last person she had ever expected to see this weekend. She didn’t really know what to do. So she just stood there, frozen, staring at the girl.

 

Santana did the same thing. She had expected to see Charlie, obviously, but not so soon and not so suddenly. So there they stood, staring at each other across the street, neither of them moving. She felt like she might pass out. That was probably because she had been holding her breath since seeing Charlie. Her arms were tingling and her eyes going dry from the lack of blinking. She was so not ready for this. This was such a bad idea.

 

“Hey” Quinn whispered and stepped in front of Santana, now effectively breaking the stare down. She grabbed her friend’s chin and lifted her eyes to meet her own. She offered a soft smile and shook her head “Ignore her. Dana is going to go talk to her. We got this handled, okay?”

 

Santana nodded and cleared her throat, which was dry. She needed a drink. A nice stiff drink. “Yeah” She managed to mumble before looking down at her bag and grabbing onto it. She could do this. She would only have to interact with Charlie on a very minimal level. Polite pleasantries between plates of catered food and “I do”. Once it was over they would all part ways to their different sleeping locations, Santana staying with her parents obviously. She could do this. It wouldn’t be that bad.

 

Dana was nearly to the car that Charlie was now unloading when a second person emerged from the passenger side door. “Charlie, look-” she stopped mid-sentence when her eyes caught sight of the second person. She eyed them up and down a few times before her eyebrows knitted together and she slowly looked at her sister “What the Hell?”

 

“What?” Charlie glanced at her guest then to her sister and shrugged “Mom said I could bring a guest.”

 

“What the Hell is that?” Dana motioned over her shoulder not too subtly.

 

“My name is Josh” The newcomer spoke up, having heard every word.

 

At the sudden addition of a new voice, the girls across the street all turned in unison to look at the source of the new voice. Santana went cold again and nearly tripped over her own feet where she had been lugging her bag onto the curb.

 

“Oh that’s classy” Quinn mumbled and shook her head. She turned quickly from looking at the newcomer and put her arm around Santana. “Come on, let’s get our stuff inside.”

 

Santana just nodded and let Quinn basically pull her along. She hardly registered anything that was going on around her now. Her ears were cloudy, her vision blurred, and her legs wobbly as she went. She couldn’t believe it. Charlie was here, with a date, who was a boy. This just kept getting better and better.

 

Dana waited until she saw Quinn and Santana disappear into the house before looking back at her sister and giving her a hard shove that threw her off balance and almost caused her to fall into the open trunk “Dude, so not cool.”

 

“What?” Charlie straightened up and pushed Dana right back. “I didn’t know she was coming! Besides, it’s been two years. I don’t owe her shit.”

 

“But, yeah, you kinda do, you dick” Dana growled and shoved her sister again.

 

“Fuck off, Dana” Charlie mumbled and slammed the trunk closed. “She made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me.”

 

“Because of what you did to her” Dana shouted now and that got the attention of a few of the employees that were moving between the front of the house to the back, setting up things for the wedding.

 

“Dana” Brittany came up behind her and put a hand on her back softly. “Come on, let’s just go inside and get some food. You haven’t eaten yet. You know you get cranky.”

 

“Brittany, don’t tell me what to do.” Her tone was harsh but Brittany didn’t even blink. She was so used to Dana snapping at her that it hardly phased her.

 

“I’m Brittany” She smiled and offered a handshake to Josh who had come to gather the bags that Charlie had gotten from the trunk.

 

“Nice to meet you” He said softly and gave her hand a shake. He looked between the sisters and offered a sweet, crooked smile “I guess you weren’t kidding when you said your sisters came with a lot of drama, babe.”

 

“Gross” Dana rolled her eyes and grabbed Brittany by the arm. She scowled at her sister and took a few steps backwards toward the house “So not cool. Just stay away from her, okay? She’s here for mom. Try not to ruin it, okay? I might not like it, but mom seems happy and if you do something to upset her this weekend I will kick your ass.”

 

“I’m so scared” Charlie rolled her eyes and turned to pick up the last bag that Josh hadn’t managed to get a hold of. She offered him a shrug then motioned to the house “I’m sorry, I will explain later. Let’s just go put our stuff in my room.” They fell in line and headed inside. This weekend just got a whole lot more complicated than it already was. Charlie was still on the outs with her sisters because of what happened with Santana and now she had to actually be in the same room as her? She wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with this yet.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

 

_ “I said I never wanted to see you again” Santana called through her closed dorm room door. When the knock had come early that morning she thought it was her dorm mate who had forgotten her keys again. She had been up all night crying and it showed. Her eyes were red and puffy, her nose sore from being wiped by a tissue, and her hair was a mess. The last thing she had wanted was for Charlie to see her like that. So when she opened the door only to be greeted with the last person she wanted to see, she had shut it just as quickly. _

 

_ “Santana, please” Charlie put her hand against the door and spoke through it. “I just want to talk to you.” _

 

_ “There is nothing to talk about” Santana yelled a little more loudly than was needed to be heard through the thin door.  _

 

_ Charlie let out a sigh and looked around. It was early but there were already people in the hallway bustling to classes. “San, please. You are making a scene. Will you just let me in?” _

 

_ The two of them were known for being dramatic. This was not the first time they had fought through her dorm door. People on her floor whispered about her as she passed by every time she and Charlie got into a fight. She hated it. She hadn’t let it get to her the first time but after numerous fights, break-ups, and make ups, she was sick of being the laughing stock of her building. _

 

_ She pulled the door open with such anger she was surprised it didn’t come off it’s hinges. Charlie slipped inside without a word and after slamming the door closed she turned and looked at her “I fucking hate you.” _

 

_ “Santana, look, I’m sorry” Charlie’s face was down trodden and her words seemed sincere as she spoke. “I never meant to hurt you.” _

 

_ “But you meant to fuck someone else?” Santana bit back tears and shook her head in confusion. She couldn’t believe they were here right now. _

 

_ Charlie opened her mouth to say no but the word couldn’t escape. She didn’t want to lie. She knew it would do her no good. So she just sighed and sat on Santana’s bed. “I know what I did was a little messed up.” _

 

_ “A little?” Santana choked on a laugh and moved over to the bed. She wrapped her hand around Charlie’s forearm and ripped her off her bed and to her feet. “Don’t you dare get comfortable. I want you to get the Hell out of my life.” _

 

_ “Santana, please” Charlie begged, her own eyes starting to fill with tears now. _

 

_ “Please, what? Forgive you? Understand?” Her head shook and she wiped at a stray tear that had escaped. “Charlie, you cheated on me. That isn’t something I just brush off.” _

 

_ “I didn’t-” _

 

_ “Save it” Santana held up her hand to silence her. She stared at the girl that she had loved so deeply for so many years and felt herself crumbling inside. She hadn’t in a million years pictured this would ever happen. They had definitely had their hard spots but this? This wasn’t something she could have ever predicted could happen. “There is nothing you could say to me to make this any better.” _

 

_ “Santana” Charlie frowned and glanced at her feet. She honestly had no idea what to say. She drew in a breath and looked up at her now “It’s complicated.” _

 

_ “Complicated?” Santana half laughed and half cried at that. “It’s not fucking complicated, Charlie. It’s actually really fucking simple. You fucked someone else while you were with me. It’s called cheating and it’s disgusting. You somehow managed to make it even worse when you decided to fuck a dude.” _

 

_ Charlie bit her lip and drew in another deep breath. She couldn’t explain it if she tried but she was starting to get pissed at Santana for attacking her, for not hearing her out and trying to understand. This went so much deeper than Santana even knew. _

 

_ “Nothing?” Santana blinked and spat out a bitter laugh. “Perfect. I don’t know why you even came here. You have nothing to say for yourself.” _

 

_ “We weren’t even together!” Charlie spat out in a fit of rage now. _

 

_ Santana blinked and her brows knitted into a scowl. She stared at the girl in front of her for a moment before finally shaking her head “Excuse you?” _

 

_ “We were fuck buddies, Santana, that was all. You know it, and I know it. I have no idea why you are being like this.” _

 

_ “Fuck buddies?” Santana laughed out the words then looked up at the ceiling with a shake of her head. Her body was starting to vibrate with rage now. She licked at her lips, drew in a steadying breath, and looked back at Charlie with a glare so fierce she might have lit Charlie on fire if she could have “You have got to be fucking kidding me with that shit. You and I both know we weren’t just fuck buddies. You stayed over all the time, sometimes after being up all night crying. I would hold you and do everything in my power to make you feel better. You would tell me I was the only person who meant anything to you now. We ate almost every meal together. We studied together. I helped you with papers and you made sure I wasn’t late for classes. Fuck buddies, Charlie, really?” _

 

_ “You knew what I was going through and you agreed not to complicate it when I came to you that first night.” _

 

_ “That first night was over a fucking year ago!” There was no doubt now that people were listening to their fight through the door after Santana yelled that out. She didn’t care. She was so blinded with rage right now she was surprised she hadn’t tossed Charlie through the wall. “You can not seriously be standing here defending your actions to me because of that night a year ago.” _

 

_ “We never, not once, had that talk Santana. You know I didn’t want to get into anything with you. Not after what happened with my parents.” Charlie was just as mad as Santana was now. They were both standing just outside of arms length, puffed up, red faced, yelling with all their might. Neither of them seemed to think they were wrong. _

 

_ “Oh, poor Charlie. Her parents got a fucking divorce, boo hoo. Welcome to the majority of America, sweetheart. That doesn’t give you any excuse to treat me the way you did.” _

 

_ “Fuck you” Charlie bit back in a near growl. “You have no idea what I’ve been going through the past year.” _

 

_ “Yes I do!” Santana howled in frustration “Yes I fucking do because you and I talked about it. You and I have gone down that path together. I have held you while you cried your fucking eyes out about it. Don’t you dare tell me I have no idea. I’ve been there every fucking step of the way, Charlie. I’ve been there because I was your girlfriend!” _

 

_ “No you weren’t.” _

 

_ “Yes I was!” Santana’s eyes were starting to swell with tears again, this time out of frustration. “Fuck buddies don’t talk about shit like that, Charlie. We weren’t just fuck buddies you asshole.” _

 

_ “Yes, we were!” Charlie shook her head and looked away from Santana. She wanted so badly to punch something, anything, but she wouldn’t. Maybe she should just leave. This was going nowhere quickly. _

 

_ Santana just shook her head. She blinked a few times rapidly, causing tears to spill onto her cheeks. She hated that Charlie had done this to her but she hated the fact that she was seeing her cry over it even more. She drew in a few breaths and wiped her face before moving to the door “So you’re sticking with that, huh?” _

 

_ Charlie blinked away a few tears and looked up at Santana. She bit the inside of her lip and nodded firmly. _

 

_ Santana nodded too then pulled the door open “Then get the Hell out of here.” _

 

_ “Santana” Charlie’s face softened a bit. “Let’s just talk-” _

 

_ “I’m done talking” Santana shook her head. “You don’t see what you did was wrong so I’m done.” _

 

_ “Please.” _

 

_ “No” Santana motioned to the door with another long shake of her head. “I want you to leave. Don’t come back. Don’t fucking call me. I don’t want to see you ever again, Charlie. You made your bed, you fucked in that bed, and now you have to lie in it.” _

 

_ Charlie opened her mouth to speak but she knew it was no use. She saw the look in Santana’s eyes and knew this was it. There was no going back. She drew in a deep breath then started to the door. She paused right in front of Santana and let her fingers brush along her arm “Santana.” _

 

_ “Don’t” Santana ripped her arm away and put up her hand to stop her. She scowled at her then looked into the hallway “Get the Hell out of my life. You disgust me.” _

 

_ Charlie’s head dropped and she just left. She hated herself but even more so hated that she had hurt Santana and couldn’t even give her a good reason why. There wasn’t a good reason, there is never a good reason for doing what she did, but at the moment she felt her reason was good enough. Santana just wasn’t listening to her. _

 

_ Santana slammed the door closed as soon as Charlie was out of the way. Her back hit the door and she broke down into tears. She slid down the door to sit against it, her head falling into her knees, and sobs taking over her body. Out of all the people in her life, she never expected Charlie to be the one to hurt her like this. She wasn’t sure she would ever feel anything resembling good again. _

 

“You alright in there, San?” A knock came to the bathroom door behind her and Santana quickly wiped at her face. She had locked herself in the bathroom almost as soon as she had gotten to the house. She claimed she had needed to shower and start putting herself together for the wedding that night but, honestly, she knew a locked bathroom was sacred in the Fabray house and had just needed some time to herself. She sniffled and looked toward the door with a nod even though it was closed.

 

“I’ll be out in a minute.” She called out softly.

 

Brittany let out a sigh and leaned against the door. She closed her eyes and listened for a moment, trying to see if she could hear Santana on the other side. She hated seeing her oldest friend like this. What Charlie had done to her had affected them all. No one liked Charlie very much, still to this day. They only tolerated her because she was family. “Can I come in?”

 

Santana looked back to the door from the sink where she had been washing her face. She breathed in deeply then reached for the doorknob and unlocked it. She put a towel to her face to dry it as Brittany slipped into the room and locked it right away. When she pulled the towel down it was obvious by her red eyes she had been crying.

 

Brittany frowned and reached out to rub at her back lightly “I’m sorry, San. I know this is hard for you. Dana is pissed. Quinn hasn’t stop trying to convince mom to kick her out of the wedding since she arrived.”

 

“They don’t need to do that. I will be okay.” Santana offered a forced smile as she tried to sound certain in her words. “I just needed a moment, you know?”

 

Brittany smiled and nodded her head. “You know what I tell my kids when they are having a bad day because of what someone else in class did to them?” She shifted now to lean against the sink next to Santana. “I tell them that letting someone make them feel sad is letting that person control everything. Then I ask them why they would let someone who doesn’t even care about them enough to make them smile control them?” She smiled and shrugged slightly “Then I offer them a hug and tell them I care enough about them to see them smile and that’s the kind of people they should pay attention to.” 

 

Santana let out a soft laugh “Those kids are first graders, B.”

 

“I know” Brittany shrugged and gave her friend a nudge “But I got a laugh out of you, didn’t I?”

 

Santana rolled her eyes but smiled and nodded. Brittany always had a way of making her smile even when she felt like shit. “I guess you are pretty good at what you do.”

 

Brittany shrugged and grinned “I did win best teacher last year.”

 

Santana laughed softly and turned now to lean her butt against the sink “I think I should be offended that you used first grade logic on me right now but I will let it slide since you got me to smile.”

 

“Deal” Brittany nodded and offered her a hug. She had missed Santana. They didn’t talk as much as they used to ever since she had moved to New York to go to medical school. She missed how easy it was to just be around her. Effortless.

 

Santana drew in a deep breath and broke the hug, still holding a smile as she looked at her friend “So, does Dana always tell you how to drive or was she just nervous because we were on the highway?”

 

Brittany rolled her eyes and her smile fell “Always. She always picks on everything I do, it seems. I didn’t spice the sauce enough, I used too much fabric softener, I stay up too late grading papers. I know she means well and she loves me but I don’t need to be told how to live every aspect of my life. I can take care of myself.”

 

“Have you talked to her about it?” Santana asked softly. She knew Dana had always kind of protected Brittany but this wasn’t high school anymore. They were both adults and Brittany had her own career now. She seemed to have the whole being an adult thing down pretty good.

 

Brittany just shrugged “Every time I bring it up, it starts a fight. She says she’s just taking care of me. I try and tell her I don’t need constant supervision and she goes off saying I don’t appreciate the little things like I used to.”

 

Santana frowned and put her hand on Brittany’s. She gave it a squeeze softly “I’m sorry, B.” She looked down at their hands then slowly back up to her friend. She didn’t want to ask the next question because she didn’t want to upset her, but she needed to know. “Are you still happy with her?”

 

“Of course” Brittany said with a quick nod. “I think we’re just in a rut. The seven year itch, you know? I’ve read that a lot of couples go through this sort of thing around this time in their relationship.”

 

“Okay” Santana said with a half smile “As long as you’re sure. You know all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

 

“I am” Brittany nodded. “I love her. I love her more than I can even say. We just need to communicate better, I think. That will help with the fighting.”

 

Santana gave a nod and a smile “You are so smart.”

 

Brittany let out a soft laugh “I read a lot.”

 

“It shows” Santana laughed and offered her friend a hug. Just then there was another knock at the door, this time it was Quinn on the other side asking if everything was alright.

 

“Great” Santana said with a nod as she unlocked the door. When both Brittany and Santana came out of the bathroom together, Quinn perked and eyebrow. Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head “She knew I was crying. She came to cheer me up.”

 

“Alright” Quinn said with a shrug. She knew given her history, Santana would never let Brittany cheat. Not that she thought they would anyway. Their history in high school was just that, history. 

 

“QUINN!” Dana called up from downstairs and all three girls looked in that direction. Quinn rolled her eyes at that. Her sister hadn’t changed. She would still rather yell like a barbarian than come get her like a normal person.

 

“What is it?” Quinn moved to the top of the steps and called back down to her sister.

 

“Rachel is here!”

 

“What?” Quinn looked at Brittany and Santana then turned and hurried down the steps. As soon as she hit the tile of the foyer she was greeted with a grinning Rachel Berry in all her beautiful Broadway starlet glory. Quinn smiled and went over to her, sliding her arms around her tightly “I thought you couldn’t make it?”

 

“Well after telling my understudy about the wedding and how it was basically my mother-in-law she talked to the director and convinced him I could miss a weekend to be there for my family.” Rachel said all of this in one breath then pulled back from the hug with a grin. “I know I’m making a dramatic entrance but I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

 

“It wouldn’t be you without a dramatic entrance” A voice came from behind everybody, Santana and Brittany having come down the stairs behind Quinn, and everyone turned. Charlie was standing just outside the doors of her mother’s fancy tea room that had now been converted into the catering room. She gave her old friend a smile, avoiding eye contact with anyone else. “I’m glad you made it, Rach.”

 

Rachel nodded softly and offered a smile. She hadn’t spoken to Charlie in months. Even then it had been awkward. Their whole friendship had been awkward since the whole cheating thing. She hadn’t wanted to take sides but what Charlie did really was unacceptable. “I’m glad I made it, too. You look good.”

 

“You too” Charlie said with a nod, looking over her friend. It had been years since she saw her last. She had grown up so well. She looked like a movie star. But that’s what happens when you become Broadway’s new darling, she supposed.

 

“Well get over here” Rachel stepped passed Quinn and offered her arms out for a hug. She wrapped her arms around the girl when she was close enough and pulled her into a tight embrace. She missed her friend, more than she could say. But she was still very sore about her actions with Santana. 

 

She was just pulling back from the hug when her eyes fell on Santana. She had no idea she had come! She saw the look on Santana’s face as she watched her hug Charlie and suddenly her heart dropped. This was going to be a really awkward weekend. Rachel quickly changed her face from a sorry look toward Santana to a smile as Charlie’s eyes met hers. “Good to see you.”

 

Charlie nodded and stepped back. She put her hands in her pockets and looked at the floor. An awkward silence fell over the room for a moment and no one really knew what to say next. The silence was snapped like a twig, however, when Josh came out of the catering room with a plate of food. He looked up at everyone and paused the bite he had been moving toward his mouth. He put the food back onto his plate then offered a smile.

 

“Who are you?” Rachel asked with a pleasant smile as she walked up to him and shook his hand. She figured he was one of the several employees Judy had hired or maybe one of the family members of the groom.

 

“I’m Josh. I’m Charlie’s boyfriend.”

 

Rachel’s face did nothing to hide her shock. Her hand went limp inside his where they had engaged in a handshake and her head slowly turned to look at Quinn. Quinn just nodded. Rachel then nodded too and looked back at him with a forced smile on her lips now “Well it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

 

“Likewise. You must be Rachel. I’ve heard a lot about you.” He dropped his hand away from her now and went back to his fork. “I’ve heard a lot about all of you, actually. I’m glad to finally put faces to the names.”

 

Rachel nodded slowly and turned back to her bags. She picked them up, gave everyone a weird, stunned smile, and headed to the stairs. “I am going to go put my things away.” She looked at Santana as she passed her and bit her lip. She couldn’t even imagine what her friend was going through.

 

“I’ll help” Santana managed to choke out before grabbing one of Rachel’s bags and nearly ripping it out of her hand as she headed up the stairs. No one did anything to stop her. They all just watched her and Rachel disappear up the stairs.

 

Once they were out of sight, Quinn rolled her eyes and moved passed Charlie with a not-so-subtle bump to her shoulder. Charlie frowned but didn’t say anything. She just turned and went back toward the catering room. “Well I’m hungry so I’m going to dig in.”

 

Dana was biting her tongue for the moment. She really wanted to yell at her sister again but she wouldn’t. She would get some food first. That would help her keep a clear head for now. “You hungry, babe?”

 

Brittany nodded and looped her arm through Dana’s “Famished. Let’s eat.” With that everyone moved into the room with the food to get a little nourishment for the day. It wasn’t even noon yet and it had already been a long day. The way things were going they were all going to need all the strength they could muster to get through this.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	2. Two are forever, two self-destruct

Usually when a room full of people were eating and there was silence it was a good thing. It meant they were all enjoying the food. This was not the case today. After everyone, aside from Rachel and Santana who had gone upstairs, had gotten a plate of food they had moved to sit at the table in the dining room. 

 

Just like when they were younger, there was tension around the Fabray table. This time, though, it wasn’t because one of the triplets had ratted the other out. This time Dana was glaring at Charlie with each bite she took. This time Brittany had no joke to make to break the tension thickening around them. This time Quinn wouldn’t blow up and storm out. That wouldn’t solve anything. 

 

The sisters needed to talk. But where to start? Finally there was a clearing of a throat and Josh offered an unknowing smile as he tried to ease the tension. “So, triplets? What was that like growing up? Did you trick people by dressing and acting the same?”

 

“She’s nothing like us” Dana spat as her eyes remained on Charlie.

 

Charlie rolled her eyes and dropped her fork “Lay off me, Dana.”

 

“No” Dana shrugged then looked at Josh “She tell you who that was?” She motioned toward the foyer where they had last seen Santana.

 

“Rachel?” He smiled and nodded “Old best friend. They’ve lost touch, though.”

 

“No” Dana shook her head. She sighed and gave a shrug “I mean, yes, that was Rachel. I meant the other one. Did she tell you why she and Rachel lost touch?”

 

“Dana” Charlie snapped.

 

Dana didn’t blink and just spoke right over her sister “She tell you why we’re all pissed at her?”

 

“Dana” Brittany whispered and shook her head “Let’s just eat.”

 

“No, Britt” She shook her head “I want to hear her say it. I want her to admit it.”

 

“Admit what? You all know what happened! That was years ago, can’t you drop it?”

 

“I don’t know” Josh spoke up with an innocent shrug of his shoulders.

 

“Not helping” Charlie mumbled.

 

“Tell him” Dana motioned to Josh then folded her arms.

 

“Bite me” Charlie shook her head and started to get up from the table.

 

“Fine” Dana shrugged and looked at Josh. “That other girl? Santana. My best friend growing up. Charlie’s ex-girlfriend. Charlie cheated on her in college. Broke her into a million tiny pieces. I think she had just finished glueing herself together and braved seeing her just to be here for our mom. Then you showed up.”

 

“Don’t bring him into this! I didn’t even know she would be here! She is more than welcome to leave if she can’t be an adult about this.”

 

“Like you were an adult about cheating on her?”

 

“Stop!” Charlie shouted. She looked at her sisters and Brittany before shaking her head. “I don’t need this. Let’s go” She motioned to Josh to follow and stormed out of the room. 

 

Dana watched her go then shook her head in anger “Typical. Just walk away when shit gets rough. Just like dad.”

 

“Hey” Quinn frowned and stood up now “Leave him out of this weekend, please?”

 

Dana sighed and nodded “Sorry. You’re right, this is about mom.”

 

“I’m going to go see if Santana and Rach are okay. Take them some food.” Quinn shrugged and started toward the makeshift catering room.

 

Brittany let out a heavy sigh “I hate this. This was supposed to be a happy weekend. Can’t you just leave Charlie alone? I’m sure she feels bad enough.”

 

“No” Dana whispered and shook her head. “It makes me sick to see her here. I just...” She sighed and ran her hand through her dark hair “...can’t believe she did what dad did to mom.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“You gonna be alright?” Rachel asked Santana as they entered Quinn’s childhood bedroom and shut the door behind them. “I can book you a flight home tonight.”

 

“I’m fine” Santana shrugged and sat on the end on the bed. She looked at her friend and sighed “I’m glad you’re here, though. It’s gonna be nice to have someone who isn’t related to all this crazy.” 

 

Rachel smiled and sat next to her “And here I thought you were convinced I was crazy.”

 

“You are. Just your own, not Fabray, crazy.” Santana smirked.

 

Rachel nodded and rolled her eyes in amusement “Fair enough. But, Brittany is here. She is not crazy. You’d have been alright if I hadn’t come.”

 

Santana just shrugged. Brittany was nice to have around but she was still too involved. She was a Fabray through marriage which Santana was sure meant she had somehow soaked in the crazy through osmosis or something. Besides, Rachel was her best friend now and she needed her more than she would ever admit. “You remember when I moved in?”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh “How can I forget? You just showed up with all your stuff at the loft. You burst through the door without knocking and make this grand entrance only to be greeted by-”

 

“Stop” Santana lifted her hand to halt her from repainting the visual into her mind of her and Quinn naked on the couch.

 

“Well that’s why you knock!” Rachel smirked and gave her friend a nudge.

 

“Lesson learned” Santana nodded. She looked at Rachel and smiled. “You saved my ass, you know? By letting me live there. I had no idea how I was going to able to afford an apartment and med school.”

 

“It was my pleasure” Rachel said sincerely. “Besides, look where we are now?” She looked around the room then laughed “Okay, maybe not where we are physically. But we wouldn’t be friends like we are had you not moved in. I mean we can sit in a room for a whole day without you insulting me.”

 

Santana breathed out a laugh then shrugged “Sometimes.” The girls shared a smile at that. Santana had softened a lot over the years but that didn’t mean her aptitude for creative insults had faded. They definitely still fought but it was out of love now and never was it hurtful like it had been in high school.

 

“You two alright in here?” Quinn asked as she cracked open the door. When she saw smiles and not tears, she smiled too. “I brought you breakfast” She offered the two plates up as she kicked the door closed behind her.

 

“Ohhhh my god. I love you, Quinn Fabray” Santana groaned with pleasure at the sight of food. She had been starving since waking up and the bagel she grabbed before leaving New York had done nothing for her.

 

Quinn laughed and handed her a plate then went to Rachel, kissing the top of her head, then offering her the other plate “With all the drama, I didn’t get a proper hello.”

 

Rachel smiled and leaned up immediately, letting her lips touch Quinn’s in a few, sweet, loving kisses. “Hello” she whispered with a smirk.

 

“I’m eating here!” Santana mumbled around the food in her mouth and rolled her eyes. 

 

The other two laughed and Quinn slid onto Rachel’s lap where she sat on the bed “Sorry. Though to be fair, you are in my room so I kind of get to do whatever I want.” Her eyebrows danced playfully as her fingers walked up Rachel’s stomach toward her chest.

 

Santana groaned and stood up “I’m leaving.”

 

“No” Rachel laughed and swatted at Quinn’s hand. “Sit. Enjoy your breakfast. Have mine” She slid the plate toward her then looked at Quinn before patting her legs “I ate this morning. I need to step out, call my dads, and go say hello to your mom.”

 

Quinn pouted but got up “I haven’t seen you all week.”

 

“I know” Rachel smiled and kissed her again. “I’ll be back soon. We can nap” Quinn smirked and Rachel held up a finger to keep her silenced. “A real nap. Then we can help each other get ready for tonight, okay?”

 

Quinn’s pout held as Rachel shot down her idea for their nap time fun but finally she smiled “Sounds good. Tell your dads hello.”

 

“I will” She gave Quinn one more kiss then turned to leave. She paused and looked back to Santana who had settled back on the bed and was eating again. “San” she waited for her friend to look at her then gave her a nod “I’m really glad you’re here.”

 

Santana offered her a smile that said the same before Rachel turned and left the room.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Rachel hadn’t lied about what she was going to do. She called her dads, she found Judy to say hello, and now she stood outside Charlie’s bedroom. She had left this stop out of her plans so Quinn or Santana couldn’t chime in and stop her. Not that it would have worked anyway. Anyone who knew Rachel knew when she was on a mission there was no stopping her.

 

As determined as she was to talk to Charlie, she was now just as nervous standing outside her room. What if her friend wanted nothing to do with her? Not like Rachel had done anything bad but she knew Charlie in defensive mode was an irrational Charlie. Rachel would have to approach this delicately. 

 

Slowly her hand lifted and placed a few light knocks to the door. She drew in a deep breath and steeled her nerves. She could do this.

 

“What now?” Charlie called from the other side of the door. 

 

Rachel nodded once and called back “Hey Charlie, it’s Rachel. Mind if I come in?” It was weird asking to enter Charlie’s room considering the room had served as her second bedroom through most of high school. 

 

There wasn’t an immediate answer and Rachel started to worry. Maybe she would be completely rejected. She frowned at the thought. Charlie and herself used to talk about everything. Now...

 

“Yeah” Charlie answered as she pulled the door open. She looked at her old friend a moment then motioned for her to enter “Yeah, come on in.”

 

Rachel was relieved and gladly stepped into the room before Charlie changed her mind. She glanced around the room and smiled. Nothing had changed, it was like walking into Sophomore year all over again. 

 

“Who sent you?” Charlie asked blandly after closing the door and moving to plop onto her bed.

 

“No one” Rachel frowned “I’m here because I wanted to talk. We were friends once. Is it so weird that I’d want to say hello?”

 

Charlie looked at her old friend and felt bad for what she’d said. Rachel was right “Sorry. I’m just a little on edge. I’ve been under attack since I got here.”

 

“Understandable” Rachel nodded and grabbed the desk chair, turning it to face Charlie before sitting. “I mean you being on edge being understandable. Not you being under attack.”

 

Charlie just nodded. She knew what she meant. She always knew what she meant, even when she babbled and made no sense. She kinda missed knowing someone like that.

 

“So what have you been up to?” Rachel broke the silence that had fallen between them.

 

“Same as when we last talked, I think” It had been too long since their last conversation. “Taking photography jobs where I can get them. Just shot some black bears for an article in some nature magazine. It was an incredible trip.

 

Rachel smiled at that. For a moment she saw Charlie light up. Charlie becoming a photographer had surprised no one. She had her camera with her everyday in high school. It was the only thing that made sense for her. “Sounds amazing.”

 

“It was” Charlie nodded. “I wish I could do it more permanently but there’s just not stable work for nature photography anymore. I am shooting architecture next week, though. Should be interesting.”

 

Rachel was happy to hear her friend talk about work. It was the one thing she seemed to still enjoy. The quiet and peaceful joy that lived in Charlie had seemed to have died about the same time her parents divorced and nothing seemed to light her up. Nothing but photography. “Anything else going on? She asked carefully.

 

Charlie shook her head “What do you mean?”

 

Rachel shrugged casually “Anything new and exciting?” She waved her hand to the side and gave a sly smile “Josh?”

 

Charlie rolled her eyes and let out a huff “Really?”

 

Rachel smiled sweetly “You brought him to your mom’s wedding, that is a big step. Are things serious?”

 

“No” Charlie got up now and went to her bags. She started searching for something just to keep her hands busy and her eyes off Rachel so she couldn’t see the truth in her eyes. The truth that she had brought him just to piss people off. “I’ve known him a week. I didn’t want to show up alone so he was cool enough to volunteer. I thought if I brought a stranger my sisters would lay off me just for the sake of being polite.” She sighed “Guess I was wrong.”

 

Rachel frowned and watched her friend fiddle with stuff in her bag. She knew she did that when something was on her mind. “I think the fact that Santana is here kind of put them on the defensive. When you get defensive, you toss politeness out of the window.” 

 

“They don’t need to defend her” Charlie growled and looked at Rachel now. There was pain in her eyes for a split second before Charlie looked back to what she was doing.

 

Rachel opened her mouth but stopped words from escaping. She gave it a second thought, trying to decide how to word it so it would be minimally upsetting. She took a breath and spoke gently “I think they might be defending themselves as much as they are defending her.”

 

Charlie paused and closed her eyes. She knew what she had done had affected her sisters too. Not only because Santana had been a friend since high school but because of their father. She pulled in a long breath and stood, abandoning her bag and looking at Rachel “Do you think I’ll ever get them to forgive me? I get it, I messed up in the worst way possible, but it’s been years, Rach. When will they move on?”

 

Rachel got up from the desk chair and moved immediately to her hug her friend. She could tell Charlie needed it by the way her arms returned the tight embrace. The girls stood there a few long moments before Rachel pulled back but held Charlie’s biceps to keep her close. “I think they have tried to move on. But I think you carry it with you still, whether you admit it or not, and they feel that. You’re triplets, you have a connection other sisters don’t have.” She offered a tender smile and wiped a tear from Charlie’s cheek. “Dana feels anger and Quinn is just sad. I think that’s because they feel that in you. They don’t need to understand. Maybe...” She shrugged and held it for a moment “maybe if you help them understand what happened on a very  _ you _ level then you can all move on?”

 

Charlie nodded and swallowed softly. She let the few tears that had slid from her eyes flow down her cheeks and drop to the floor. Rachel was right. She was still angry and upset with herself so how could she expect everyone else to move on when she hadn’t. She drew in a deep breath and steadied her tears that threatened to fall. She offered Rachel a smile and choke out “I miss you.”

 

Rachel bit her bottom lip and returned the smile with a nod “I miss you too, Charlie.” The girls moved into another long hug and that was it. No explanation needed. No apology was necessary. Rachel forgave her. She knew her friend’s heart and she knew this had been tearing her apart. As long as she made steps to bring peace to her sisters, she could forgive her. If she ever decided to make peace with Santana, if that were possible, she would support her on that, too. They had, after all, sworn to be best friends forever.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

_ “I think this might be one of the most romantic things I’ve ever seen!” Charlie bounced with excitement as she pinned her hair back in the mirror. _

 

_ “I think they’re idiots” Santana mumbled as she leaned into the tiny vanity mirror she had set up to put on her make up. _

 

_ Charlie rolled her eyes and looked at the back of Santana’s head in her mirror “You have been crabby about this since Dana mentioned it at breakfast this morning. What’s your problem?” _

 

_ “Nothing” Santana’s eyes flickered to meet Charlie’s in her mirror’s reflection before focusing on her make up again. “I just think they are idiots.” _

 

_ “You keep saying that but you’ve yet to elaborate” Charlie put her brush down and turned to actually look at Santana now instead of talking through reflections. “So why are they idiots?” _

 

_ “Are you kidding?” Santana put down her mascara and turned to face Charlie too. “Brittany just barely turned eighteen. We are in Vegas, which is totally cliche, and they just decided this  _ at _ breakfast. No proposal, no rings, no thought about what it actually means. They are treating this like it’s a joke and ruining their lives.” _

 

_ “They love each other. They have been together two years, which is decades to teenagers, and they are caught up in the moment. I think it’s sweet.” Charlie moved to the bed to sit down and slip on her shoes “And how are they ruining their lives?” _

 

_ “They are eighteen, Chuck. They both still have so much to see and learn. What if they meet someone from outside lame Lima at college and they realize they’ve missed out on so many exciting people and regret getting married so young? Neither of them have any real life experience. They don’t know what they are missing.” _

 

_ “They know that whatever life brings, they want to experience it together.” Charlie shrugged. “They don’t think they are missing anything that is more exciting than being with each other forever.”  _

 

_ Santana sighed and turned to look at her girlfriend “How can anyone be sure they want to be with someone forever at this age?” _

 

_ Charlie blinked and her brow furrowed “You don’t think you wanna be with me forever?” _

 

_ “That’s not what I said” Santana rolled her eyes. “But thinking and knowing are two different things.” _

 

_ Charlie folded her arms in front of her and hoped her face didn’t show that she was a little wounded right now. “Well, Santana, do you KNOW you want to be with me forever?” _

 

_ Santana moved over to Charlie and took her hand as she sat next to her on the bed. She looked her right in the eyes, sighed, and shook her head “Right now? No.” _

 

_ Charlie pulled her hand away and turned so Santana couldn’t see the tears that had formed instantaneously. _

 

_ Santana let out another sigh and put a hand on Charlie’s back “Chuck, we’re young. I don’t even know where I am going to college. Who knows what can happen? We aren’t even going to be in the same state after high school. Do I love you? Hell yes. Do I want to be with you? Yes. Do I know for sure that I will feel that way forever? No. No one can be certain of that, that’s all I’m saying.” _

 

_ “Well I’m certain” Charlie stood up now and moved back to the mirror she’d been leaning into earlier. She sniffled and wiped at her face so her mascara wouldn’t run. _

 

_ “Chuck-” _

 

_ “Don’t call me that” Charlie growled but didn’t look at Santana. _

 

_ Santana sighed heavily “Charlie, come on. Be rational here. You know what I am saying is true. So why don’t you take a breath, calm down, and let’s go to a quickie wedding for Dana and B.” _

 

_ “No” Charlie shook her head and turned away from the mirror to look at Santana. “I don’t want to go with you and of that, too, I am certain.” _

 

_ “Wait, what?” Santana stood quickly, hands palms up in a shrug, a look of confusion painted on her face. “Charlie, we were just talking. I was just being honest. I want to be with you. I just didn’t want you to get your hopes up that a wedding was on our horizon any time soon, too. Life happens, that’s all I’m saying!” _

 

_ “And all I’m saying right now is I changed my mind. I don’t want to be with you.” Charlie grabbed her purse and stormed toward the door before she started crying again. _

 

_ “Charlie, wait!” But it was too late. Charlie was gone and Santana was left spinning. She couldn’t believe Charlie had just dumped her on Spring Break their Senior year. This was supposed to have been the time of their lives before graduation and real life started but instead had turned into one of the worst moments of Santana’s life. Stupid weddings, they always made girls go act crazy. _

 

“Hey” Brittany walked up behind Santana carefully, not wanting to startle her where she leaned against the railing of the balcony, apparently lost in thought.

 

Santana turned at the light voice behind her and smiled when she saw her old friend “Hey, B.”

 

Brittany smiled as well and moved to put her arms on the top of the railing next to Santana. Her posture soon mimicked her friend and they both stood there leaning against the wood, eyes on the yard, watching the people setting up for the wedding. It was all starting to come together and there was no doubt it would be incredible. “So, what were you thinking about?”

 

Santana laughed and dipped her chin a bit. It was funny how well Brittany still knew her. She smiled and looked at her friend “Actually, I was thinking about the last wedding I went to.”

 

Brittany nodded and let out a soft laugh “That was ages ago. Why were you thinking about that?”

 

“Honestly? I was thinking about how Charlie dumped me right before it.”

 

Brittany glanced at her friend and was surprised to see her smiling at the mention of Charlie. That made her smile too “You two were back together in a few months anyway. What made her do that?”

 

Santana rolled her eyes “I told her you two were dumb because you were too young. That lead to her basically asking if I wanted to marry her at that point in time to which I said no. I guess she thought that meant never. So she cut me off before I could hurt her.” She shrugged at that and mumbled “girls.”

 

Brittany nodded in agreement “Fabray girls.”

 

The friends shared a smirk and both giggled. Santana turned to Brittany and pulled her into a hug, placing a friendly kiss to her forehead before pulling back. “You ever regret it? Getting married so young?”

 

Brittany shook her head slowly but without hesitation “There are times I wonder if we should have waited but never do I regret it. Regret means you wish you could take it back or undo it and I don’t feel that, ever.” She shrugged and looked at her feet “But maybe if we’d waited we wouldn’t fight so much?”

 

Santana shrugged and gave Brittany’s hand a squeeze “I bet even when you’re fighting, she is worth it.”

 

Brittany smiled and looked up at her friend, nodding quickly “Every moment.” She flicked her head toward the house now and let her hand slide out of Santana’s. “Come on, let’s go get ready. Heaven forbid any of us look slovenly for Judy’s big night.”

 

“Oh, nice word” Santana laughed and followed her friend into the house. With just a few hours left until the wedding started, she couldn’t help but feel like Doomsday was coming. Her and Charlie would soon be unable to avoid being in the same room. If there was one thing Santana knew for sure about that was that she was going to look stunning. Santana Lopez hadn’t lost her flair for fighting dirty, after all.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

_ A worn out recording of a typical wedding march started and Dana took in a sharp breath. Her eyes lifted from where she had been picking nervously at her nail polish and focused on the door at the end of the aisle. Her hands moved to straighten the clip-on bowtie she had bought at the gift shop that morning then dropped and folded in front of her.  _

 

_ The doors opened at the end of the aisle and Rachel came through them with a smile. She wore a light yellow sundress that she had packed for the trip. She never expected she would be wearing it to a wedding. She grinned happily as she made her way down the aisle to the beat of the song, holding a small box with rings inside. When she reached the alter she stepped to the side where Brittany would be standing eventually. She gave Dana a nod then looked to the doors where she had just come from. _

 

_ Charlie came next. She wasn’t smiling, though. She kept her eyes to the ground as she tossed handfuls of leaves on the floor. With the fight between herself and Santana earlier, she hadn’t had time to find flower pedals so instead she had grabbed a few handfuls of leaves on her way into the chapel. When she reached the alter she looked at Santana, who stood next to Dana as her best friend and maid of honor. She frowned and took a spot next to Rachel instead. _

 

_ “No you’re on Dana’s side” Rachel whispered softly. _

 

_ “I can’t” Charlie shook her head. _

 

_ “What? Why?” They were whispering back and forth as Quinn and Brittany hit the door. _

 

_ “Shut up” Dana growled then smiled widely as her bride headed her way.  _

 

_ Quinn served as the one giving Brittany away since they were best friends. The girls strode down the aisle arm in arm. Brittany somehow looked like a bride out of a movie. Her blonde locks were loosely curled and left flowing down over her shoulders and back. She wore a plastic tiara they had gotten at a gift shop, but it looked like a real crown. The dress she wore looked like it had been made for a wedding even though she had owned it for years. It was lacy and long, but light and flowing down to just above her ankles. She’d worn it before for church or nice family events, but this would be the last time she would wear it. It was now her wedding dress. _

 

_ When the two girls finally reached the alter, Brittany took a deep breath and reached for Dana’s hand. Quinn watched her sister take her best friend’s hand and she had no doubt she was safe. The music clicked off and Quinn stepped up behind Brittany who now faced Dana. _

 

_ “You look so gorgeous” Dana said with a dreamy grin on her lips. _

 

_ “I like your bowtie.” Brittany giggled and reached up to touch it “It matches your hair.” _

 

_ “And your eyes” Dana nodded before running a hand through her dyed blue hair. She had changed the color at the beginning of Senior year just like she did at the start of every new school year. She liked the blue the best, though. It reminded her of Brittany’s eyes. _

 

_ “Ladies and...” The guy dressed in a costume Pastor shirt, who probably wasn’t religious at all, stepped to the top of the alter steps and looked at them all “...ladies, I guess” He laughed then cleared his throat “We are here today to bond two together as one in the holy matrimony that is marriage.” He looked at Dana and Brittany and shrugged “Ladies, marriage is a promise between you two to be true, faithful, and always there for one another. There will be bumps and curves in the road. You may even make a wrong turn but as long as you are together, you will always be on the right path.” _

 

_ Rachel bit her lip to fight back tears. She was such a sap.  _

 

_ Charlie was staring at her feet. She was happy for her sister and Brittany, of course, but she couldn’t bare to look at Santana. _

 

_ Santana hadn’t taken her eyes off Charlie. She was almost giving herself a headache trying to will her to look up. She just wished she could talk her to, explain herself. This was so stupid! _

 

_ “You girls have something you want to say to each other?” The man asked. _

 

_ Dana nodded and looked at Brittany. She reached out and took hold of the hand she hadn’t been holding and gave them both a squeeze. “Brittany, I don’t really know what to say because when I look at you my mind goes blank. You have always had that effect on me. You turn me into a drooling pile of mush and at first I hated it but now it is one of my favorite things in life.” She laughed softly and took a breath “Baby, life is crazy and I have no idea how I’d manage it without you. I don’t know a lot about what’s ahead. The only thing I know for sure is you. As long as you are with me everything else will just...” She shrugged, still grinning “...be alright.” _

 

_ Quinn smiled at her sister. This was probably the most genuine she had seen her since middle school. She hadn’t been sure this was a great idea but she was now. If there were any two people in the world crazy enough to see this through and make it work, it was these two. _

 

_ Rachel sniffled. She had started crying almost as soon as Dana had started talking. _

 

_ Charlie looked up to her sister finally and offered her a smile. Then her eyes fell on Santana and her gut twisted. She looked back to her feet quickly and fought back tears. _

 

_ Santana sighed heavily and looked down too. She hated this. _

 

_ “Right on” The so-called Pastor said with a nod. He looked at Brittany now and motioned to Dana “You wanna say something?” _

 

_ Brittany nodded and bit her lip. She was fighting tears too. “I’m not very good with words like you are but that’s okay because you always know what I am saying. No one has ever gotten me like you do. You make me feel pretty and smart and like nothing is impossible. I know all of that is because you love me. I am pretty excited to see where we can go together. You’re the only one I wanna take this trip with.” She looked at the other girls and smiled “I mean you guys can come too, but I get shotgun.” _

 

_ This got a laugh out of everyone. Charlie looked up again and her smile that had come with the laugh faded when she saw Santana looking at her again. She rolled her eyes and looked at her sister now as the guy running the ceremony now asked for the rings.  _

 

_ Rachel reached into the little box she held and pulled them out “I apologize about the quality of these rings. With the time constraint and small budge we had, these were all Quinn and I could find.” She handed Brittany the ring they’d picked for Dana. It was obvious they had gotten it from a Native American gift shop. It was a hand carved sterling silver band with a howling wolf etched into it.  _

 

_ Rachel then moved to Dana and handed over Brittany’s ring. This one had come from the M&M store. It was a thin gold band with a tiny pink M&M mounted where a diamond would typically be. Dana eyed it and laughed “This rocks. It’s perfect for her.” _

 

_ “Lemme see!” Brittany perked up. _

 

_ “Not yet” Dana grinned and folded her hand around it to keep it from view. _

 

_ The guy now nodded and motioned to Brittany “Take her hand.” He watched Brittany reach for Dana’s left hand and smiled “Now repeat after me and slide the ring on.” _

 

_ Brittany nodded and gave Dana’s hand a squeeze before starting to repeat what the man said. “Like a ring unbroken, my love will encircle you forever.” She pushed the ring onto Dana’s finger and her heart fluttered. _

 

_ Dana lifted her hand and looked at the wolf. She laughed then threw her head back to let out a playful howl. This made everyone laugh again. _

 

_ Once they all settled, the guy motioned to Brittany but looked at Dana “Alright, your turn.” Dana repeated the words and soon Brittany had her ring on as well. She, too, instantly lifted her hand to look at her ring and her face lit up with excitement as a giggle escaped her lips “It’s so cute!” _

 

_ “Awesome. Alright ladies, take each other’s hands again.” He waited until their hands were tangled together then nodded “By the powers given to me by Nevada, Vegas, and this little chapel, I know pronounce you bonded in marriage. Now kiss!” _

 

_ Dana wrapped her arms around Brittany and lifted her off her feet. She swung her in a circle as their lips engaged in a not-so-chaste kiss.  _

 

_ Quinn rolled her eyes and laughed. Typical Dana. _

 

_ Rachel was clapping as she watched the happy couple kiss. _

 

_ Charlie clapped too. She sighed and looked at Santana again, who was watching the newlyweds with a sad look on her face. Good. Maybe she would regret her words, Charlie thought with a nod to herself. _

 

_ “Alright” The guy grinned when the kiss finally broke. “Enjoy your wedding night. Be safe. Here is a coupon for a free buffet.” With that, he left the room in a hurry.  _

 

_ Dana and Brittany kissed again then looked at the other girls “You losers go find something to do for a while. We are gonna go consummate this thing!” Dana said with a smirk. _

 

_ Quinn groaned. Rachel laughed. _

 

_ Dana made Brittany jump into her arms then started toward the exit with a smile. The next time Charlie looked toward Santana, she was gone. _

 

“What are you smiling at?” Dana asked with a laugh as she put the back of her earring on.

 

Brittany blinked and turned from the mirror to look at Dana. Her finger played lazily with her wedding ring, spinning it around her finger. “Our wedding” She said softly.

 

Dana smiled at that and gave a nod “best day of my life.”

 

Brittany nodded and looked down at her ring. When she and Dana had saved up enough money they had taken their original rings and gotten them mounted onto silver bands that wouldn’t turn their fingers green. “Santana asked me today if I regretted it. You know, getting married so young?”

 

Dana furrowed her brows together but kept a calm tone at that “What’d you say?”

 

Brittany looked up at her wife and shook her head “Not for a single second.”

 

Dana’s face softened and she moved to Brittany. She took her into her arms and touched a soft kiss to her lips “Me neither, babe. In fact, I think of it as the smartest thing I have ever done.”

 

“Me too” Brittany whispered. The girls stood there together, foreheads leaned in and touching, starting into each other’s eyes for a moment before Brittany kissed Dana once more then slowly slid from her arms. She looked her wife over and nodded with a smile “You look beautiful, my love. Are you ready for this?”

 

Dana looked at her dress her mother had picked out for her and gave a nod “Yeah. He makes her happy. As long as mom’s happy, I’m happy.” She reached out for Brittany’s hand and once their fingers were linked she gave a wink and motioned to the door “Let’s go get my mom married.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana had no idea what she was doing. After getting all dressed up for the wedding she had paced back and forth in the basement bathroom for what had felt like days. She was unsettled, anxious, and couldn’t take it any longer. So now she stood outside Charlie’s door starting at it, trying to gain her sanity back and walk away. This was a bad idea. She shook her head and turned to leave just as the door opened. She froze on the spot.

 

“Hey” Josh said with a confused look. “Santana, right?”

 

Santana left out a puff of air, steeled her nerves, and turned. She put on a fake, overly sweet smile, and nodded “Yeah. Hi.” She lifted her hands and pointed in the direction of the door “I, umm...”

 

Josh perked an eyebrow and his eyes scanned over her. The knee length black dress she wore hugged all the right places. There were straps holding it up, but just barely. Her long black hair fell loose over her shoulders but did very little to hide all the skin, and cleavage, that was on display.

 

Santana noticed him staring and folded her arms across her chest. She rolled her eyes. So gross. “Look, dude, I just wanted to talk to her for a second.”

 

Josh smirked and motioned to the door “Go for it.” He stepped out of the way and when Santana moved past him, his eyes fell to her ass “I can see why she went gay for you.”

 

Santana whipped around to unleash the fury of her barbed wire tongue but was cut off by a voice behind her “Treat her with some respect you Neanderthal.”

 

“Oh like you did?” Josh snapped back at Charlie.

 

Charlie took a breath in to let out string of obscenities his way but this time Santana cut her off “You like your balls where they are?” When Josh looked confused, she stepped forward and in true Santana Lopez fashion started baring her teeth and pointing in his face “Then you will never fucking speak to her like that again or your baby makers will be the next addition to my trophy shelf.”

 

Charlie grabbed Santana’s arm and pulled her away from Josh “Josh, leave.” She said with a growl.

 

“Bitch” He mumbled and backed away from the girls. He looked at Charlie and shook his head “Ever since we got here you’ve been a raging bitch to me for no reason. This is so not worth maybe getting laid. I am out of here.”

 

“Oh, classy” Santana lunged toward him but Charlie still had a hold of her so she didn’t get too far. Neither girl moved until Josh was gone then Santana pulled her arm out of Charlie’s grip and turned to face her “You had yourself a real sweetheart there.”

 

Charlie sighed and shook her head “What do you want?”

 

“Huh?” Santana crossed her arms.

 

Charlie just looked at her with a questioning look for a moment and when she didn’t answer she let out a frustrated huff “Why were you outside my door?”

 

Santana blinked and remembered she had been there to talk to Charlie before everything had unfolded like it did. Her posture changed immediately. She went from puffed up chest, ready to fight, to a shoulder drooping slouch. She glanced at her feet and gave a shrug before speaking in a much softer tone now “I...” She looked at Charlie and rolled her eyes “Look I came to check in on you. Make sure you were holding up alright and-”

 

“I don’t need you to babysit my feelings anymore” Charlie bit quickly at her. It was easy to see her defenses were sky high. 

 

Santana’s face twisted into a hurt scowl and she took a step back “I was trying to be a decent person but, you know what, I changed my mind. Go fuck yourself.”

 

Charlie rolled her eyes at that. She was fighting feeling bad for snapping at her “Not your best work. That doesn’t sting like it used to.”

 

“How about this?” Santana took a few more steps backwards, shaking her head as she stared at this girl who was so ugly now she hardly recognized her “Good luck watching your mom get re-married. Hope this one lasts longer than the last. If not, third time is rumored to be the charm.” She turned now and stormed away. Her body was vibrating with rage. It had been a mistake thinking she and Charlie could interact pleasantly, or even politely. She just wanted to get this over with so she could go home.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	3. The three words that don't say enough

The sun was just starting to set when the ceremony started. The yard was lined with pristine white chairs, the grass held a golden glow from the fading sun, and the flowers that decorated the aisle seemed to fill the air with the perfect scent for a wedding. Every little thing had turned out beautifully. The groom and three younger men stood under the gazebo already, all in matching tuxes. It looked like something right out of a fairytale. 

 

Just as the music started to bring the girls down the aisle, Santana slid herself into her seat between Rachel and Brittany.

 

“Cutting it a little close, aren’t you?” Rachel hissed before turning her head to watch the first of the wedding party come down toward the gazebo.

 

“Sorry” Santana sniffled and wiped a hand under eye, sweeping away the last of her running mascara.

 

Brittany frowned and leaned into her, whispering softly “Are you okay?”

 

Santana nodded quickly and cleared her throat “Weddings, you know? They just get me all choked up.”

 

Rachel turned at the sound of their whispers and noticed Santana holding a crumbled up tissue. She reached for her hand with a frown “What happened?”

 

Santana just shook her head. Brittany sighed and took Santana’s other hand, giving it a soft squeeze. When Rachel had found her and asked if she had seen Santana before the wedding they had both gotten the feeling that she had gone to see Charlie. It looked like they had been right. 

 

Brittany let out a heavy sigh then turned her attention to the wedding. The triplets had made their way to the front now. Brittany smiled when she saw them all standing together, a very rare sight to behold. With identical dresses on they all looked related again. If Dana didn’t have short black hair it would be almost impossible to tell them apart. Almost.

 

The music that cued the arrival of the bride started and everyone stood up. All eyes were on Judy now as she slowly made her way toward her groom. With how elaborate every detail of the wedding was, it was a bit of a surprise to see how modest her dress was. It wasn’t simple by any means but it definitely was not as elaborate as it could have been.

 

Once she reached the alter and the music ended, everyone sat. Dana caught eyes with Brittany and gave her a wink which made the blonde smile. Pastor Adam stepped forward and greeted everyone before starting the ceremony. It was the same as any other wedding, really. That didn’t stop Rachel from crying. Brittany teared up a bit, too. Santana kept her eyes on her feet. She didn’t want to risk seeing Charlie. She felt awful about what she had said to her about Judy right before the ceremony. She hadn’t meant it but when you’re hurt and defensive you say stupid things. She had just wanted Charlie to hurt like she did.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

The ceremony ended and it shifted into a reception pretty effortlessly. Tables were now filled with people chatting, eating, and taking pictures together. Santana sat alone, poking a fork through whatever meat was on her plate. Bacon wrapped chicken, she thought, but hadn’t had the appetite to taste it.

 

Rachel slid into the seat next to her, laughing about something “This is so fun!” She sighed happily then looked at Santana. She frowned and reached out to rub at her back “Are you ready to tell me what happened? I hate seeing you so down. Charlie is busy standing in line to shake hands with people who want to congratulate the bride and groom. That is such a weird tradition if you think about it. I mean the people in the wedding party didn’t even get married but they stand up there and shake hands and smile and people act like they were the ones-”

 

“Rachel” Santana mumbled, cutting off her ramble. When Rachel blushed and gave her an apologetic look, she offered a smile “Don’t let me bum you out. Go have fun.”

 

“No” Rachel smiled and leaned into the table, resting her head on her hands. “I want to hang out with you.”

 

“No you don’t” Santana rolled her eyes. When Rachel just held her smile and stared at her, Santana shook her head “You aren’t going to leave me alone until I tell you what happened, are you?”

 

Rachel’s smile grew wider and she shook her head playfully.

 

Santana half sighed, half groaned, and pushed Rachel’s head off her hands that supported it “Fine.” She took a deep breath and started to recount what had transpired between Charlie and herself. When she finished, Rachel shook her head and looked at where Charlie stood. She was quiet a moment before standing suddenly. “Rachel, don’t!” Santana said with panic in her voice, but it was no use.

 

Rachel was marching to the front of the line where the wedding party stood. Santana stared in horror. She wasn’t sure how this would go down so she took in a breath and braced herself. Rachel bypassed Charlie, though, and instead stepped between Quinn and Dana. She tapped them on their shoulders and when they leaned down to her, she whispered frantically. A few glances were thrown in Charlie’s direction but that was the only visible reaction. Fabrays were taught to stay poised during public events, after all.

 

A few moments passed and both sisters nodded before straightening up and smiling at whichever family member was in front of them to shake their hand now. Rachel marched back to the table with her head held high and a proud smile on her lips.

 

“What was that?” Santana breathed out softly when her friend returned.

 

“They’ll handle it” Rachel said with a calm shrug then offered her hand to her friend. “Now come dance with me.”

 

“Rachel there’s nothing-”

 

“Dance!” Rachel demanded and thrust her hand at Santana again. 

 

Santana stared at her a moment and when it was obvious she wasn’t budging, she sighed and took her hand. “Fine” she mumbled and let Rachel tug her to the dance floor even though she wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

After finally being relieved of bridesmaids duties, Charlie headed straight for the food. She had just gotten her plate and was heading across the yard to a table when someone grabbed her arm and tugged her backwards, causing her plate and all it’s contents to go flying. “What the Hell?” Charlie growled when she whipped around to face her captors.

 

Dana and Quinn stood together, both with arms folded across their chests, both with firm glares fixed on their faces. They had never in their lives looked more like two triplets then in that moment.

 

“What?” Charlie shook her head and looked from sister to sister a few times. “I am starving! Can’t this wait?”

 

“No” Dana finally said and grabbed at Charlie’s arm again. She motioned for her to follow then turned to lead her into the garage. When Charlie didn’t move, she gave a fierce tug that nearly pulled Charlie out of her shoes.

 

“Oh my god” Charlie grunted and tried to pull free from Dana. When it was no use she let out a sigh and followed willingly. The girls stayed silent until they were all inside the garage and the door was closed, muffling the music and noisy bustle of the wedding outside. When she was finally let go, Charlie smoothed a hand over her dress “What is your problem?”

 

“You are” Quinn chimed in now. She saw Charlie immediately open her mouth to counter her words and quickly lifted her hands to stop her. She was calm as she spoke “Charlie, I have been racking my brain for years trying to figure out what happened, okay? I am hurt” She put a hand to her heart and pulled in a deep breath. Her eyes were locked on her sisters, holding sincerity in her gaze “I know what you did is something you wish we would all forget. I get that, okay? But it was just so...”

 

“Bad” Dana cut in. Her tone was soft too. They were trying to show Charlie they weren’t trying to attack her anymore. “It was so...”

 

“Not you” Quinn added this time with a nod. “We’ve talked about it” She said, motioning between herself and Dana “and we just don’t get it. We wish you’d have talked to us or something, you know? We’re your sisters.”

 

“We love you” Dana whispered softly “No matter what. But the way this all happened and the way you’ve been treating everyone ever since isn’t right. You’ve become a completely different person.”

 

“An ugly person” Quinn said with a shrug. “We don’t know who you are anymore. All we know is you are not our sister.”

 

“Not the one we raised” Dana said with a smile.

 

Charlie rolled her eyes at that. Her sister’s hadn’t raised her. They all had parents.

 

Dana reached out and put a hand on Charlie’s shoulders “Q and I feel like this is our fault. Partially, anyway. We let you down somewhere and we’re sorry.”

 

“You didn’t let me down” Charlie finally broke her silence. Her defenses had melted away at the words of her sisters. She hated seeing them blaming themselves for her actions. Her head dropped and she let out a defeated sigh. She was quiet as she thought about everything over the past few years and finally it just became too much. Tears started to flow and her eyes finally lifted back to look at her sisters “I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant to hurt anyone. I just...” She shrugged and wiped at a tear “I’ve been so lost.”

 

“Since dad” Quinn nodded and moved so she could slide her arm around Charlie now. “Since the divorce.”

 

“We know” Dana whispered. “We could feel the shift in you. Like, literally feel it. Quinn called me that night before either of us knew what had happened. She asked me if I had talked to you and I said I had been about to call you before she called me. It’s weird” Dana let out a little laugh “It’s like the bat signal or something.”

 

Charlie smiled and wiped at her cheek. She looked between her sisters again then at her feet. “I didn’t know how to handle it. He wasn’t the best dad in the world, but I never thought he would ruin our family like he did. I don’t know. He was always the toughest, you know? Always working so hard to keep us happy. It couldn’t have been easy, but you never heard him complain. I looked up to him for it.”

 

Quinn nodded and gave her sister a squeeze before laying her head on her shoulder “I know what you mean. I was shocked too.”

 

“Yeah if anything I thought he’d die of liver failure before he would cheat on mom.” Charlie and Quinn both scoffed at Dana and she shrugged “What? The man drank whiskey with every meal. You know I’m right.”

 

They didn’t want to admit it but Dana was right. Quinn lifted her head and moved her hand to rub at Charlie’s back now. “What you did wasn’t alright but we know that you know that.”

 

Charlie nodded. She knew alright. She knew when it was happening and yet something inside her let it happen anyway. She looked up at Quinn, her eyes still filled with unshed tears “I don’t know why I did it.”

 

“You weren’t always the best at handling pain” Dana offered and moved to the other side of her youngest sister now. “Remember when you broke your finger in eighth grade? You shut yourself in your room for a week and pouted because it hurt so much.”

 

Quinn smirked and tried to stifle a laugh. Charlie was kind of a baby when it came to pain.

 

“My point is” Dana continued as her fingers pushed some hair out of Charlie’s eyes “You had no control over your reaction to the divorce, baby sis. That doesn’t justify your actions, because you totally could have controlled those, but the way you cope is all your own. You just acted negatively. Instead of reaching out you fell into yourself and rebelled. You thought you’d fight pain with more pain and, unfortunately, Santana got the short end of the stick because she was the closest to you.”

 

“Nice” Quinn said with a smile at her sister. “I can see why you’re a guidance counselor now. I’ve always wonder what you were thinking, but I get it now.”

 

Dana rolled her eyes and smiled “You think I’d be at a job I sucked at? Come on, Q. I was always the voice of reason between us.”

 

“Guys!” Charlie spoke up from between her sisters. She looked at them and laughed “Can you figure out Dana’s perplexing career choice later?”

 

“Oh, perplexing. Sounds like the old Charlie” Dana teased and kissed the top of her head. Her smile faded and she spoke seriously again “Can you do us a favor?”

 

Charlie perked an eyebrow curiously at what her sister might propose but nodded in agreement anyway.

 

“Stop being an asshole” Quinn said with a shrug. “We forgive you, okay? But next time something is happening in your life that you just can’t get over, whatever it might be, come and talk to us before doing something stupid. I’m afraid what might happen if you, I don’t know, lost your camera. You might rob a bank or something.”

 

“Shut up” Charlie said with a roll of her eyes but gave her sisters a nod. “Yeah” She whispered, wiping away the last of the tears that had slid down her cheeks. “I’m really sorry you guys. I hate that I’ve torn this family apart more than dad ever did.”

 

“It’s just a few years” Dana said with a shrug. “As long as you make up for it from now on, I won’t hold it against you on my death bed.”

 

“Deal” Charlie snorted out through a laugh. She turned and hugged Dana tightly who, surprisingly, did not object and returned the affection. She then turned and pulled Quinn into the hug. The three of them stood in a little triangle, an arm around each sister, squeezing tightly. It lasted a few moments before they all pulled back. They all exchanged looks and then in unison, almost like they had practiced it, they all stepped back and wiped their hands over themselves like they were wiping away the love “Gross” they all said at the same time. Then they froze, looked at each other again, and all broke out into a fit of laughter. It was moments like this that they were all glad to be triplets, even if they would never admit it.

 

As their laughter faded, Quinn put a hand on Charlie’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze “Just go talk to her, okay? Don’t be defensive, don’t be angry. Let her say what she needs to say. We might understand why, but she still doesn’t. So let her be angry, let her get it off her chest, and then if she let’s you, tell her.”

 

Charlie nodded and took in a deep breath to fight another round of tears that were forming. The thought of facing Santana and baring her soul scared her. Her sisters, they knew what she was thinking without her having to say it, but Santana? She had no idea if the girl could ever understand her like that. She would try, though. She owed it to her.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“I want to thank every one of you for being here to share this night with us” Judy held up a champagne flute as she addressed all of her guests. The sun was long gone but the night was still young. Everyone had eaten their fill but no one had left. The crowd seemed to want to dance the night away in celebration of the newlyweds. It was obvious just how truly loved the two were by the people in their lives.

 

The triplets had left the garage to enjoy the rest of the night together in celebration of their mother’s happiness. Charlie would have to find a good time to talk to Santana before she left, but now was not it. Now was all about her mother. So she ate, danced, and mingled. The night had been a blast.

 

“I never thought I’d be here again” Judy continued. “I never thought I could smile again or feel the way I feel right now ever again. Then I realized the old adage to be true. When God shuts a door, he opens a window. I just had to open my eyes, feel the breeze, and climb out that window.” She glanced to her right and saw her new husband. She gave him a smile then turned back to the crowd. “Preston was waiting right outside that window.”

 

The crowd gave an aww sound and a few clapped. Charlie smiled warmly at that. She was so glad her mother was happy again.

 

“But I didn’t get out that window alone. I had three very important people hoisting me up and helping me through it.” Judy’s eyes shifted around the crowd now. She spotted each of her daughters, all in different places in the yard, and gave them all a loving smile. “My girls are the reason I was able to pick myself up again. They got me to my feet, dusted me off, and pointed out the window to me. Without them I wouldn’t be here. I might be a crazy cat lady, bitter and alone, loving only an absurd amount of cats and nothing else.”

 

The crowd gave a laugh to that. Judy hated cats, everyone knew that, so the visual was even more funny than it should have been.

 

“But my girls knew my heart wasn’t done. They saw the cracks and applied some glue and told me it could still hold love. And they were right.” She eyed each one of her daughters again and lifted the drink a bit higher “I love you girls. Thank you for being the only strength I could find to stop myself from letting the cold dark world swallow me whole.”

 

The crowd cheered and each girl lifted their own drinks in the sky toward their mom. They all exchanged glances then took a drink to the toast. It had been unexpected and Quinn wiped a tear from her eye. For all the mistakes Judy had made, she really did love her daughters with all of her heart and soul.

 

Once the toast was over, the crowd went back to mingling. Music started again and soon people were dancing once more. Rachel and Quinn had made their way to the dance floor together for one of their favorite songs that had started playing. Brittany was talking to one of Preston’s sons and Dana had gone back for a fourth serving from the food table. 

 

Charlie sat in a chair by herself, looking around the crowd of people. She was happy to see all the love and support for her mom but a frown took over when she realized the one person she wanted to see there most was nowhere to be found. She really hoped Santana hadn’t left already. She wasn’t sure she could get up the nerve to talk to her if she had to wait until morning. When she was sure Santana wasn’t there anymore, she sighed and got up from her seat. She suddenly didn’t feel like partying anymore. She needed to get out of there and clear her head.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

_ Charlie sniffled and settled her head against Santana’s shoulder. Her head was throbbing from crying so much. She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to stop crying. Even though every tear her body was able to produce was long gone she still couldn’t stop. Her heart just hurt so bad. _

 

_ They had been sitting together in silence so long Santana had lost track of time. The only sound she had heard for hours had been Charlie’s soft sniffles. Every so often a wail would escape her lips or she would mumble something questioning why her dad would do what he had done, but other than that, it had been silence. She didn’t mind, though. When Charlie had showed up at her door completely distraught she hadn’t given it a second thought. Charlie had needed her, so she was there for her, no questions asked. _

 

_ “Do you want some water?” Santana broke the silence and looked down to the top of Charlie’s head where she laid against her chest. They sat in Santana’s dorm room, on her bed, Santana’s back against the wall, and Charlie half laying against her. _

 

_ Charlie’s head just shook and she sniffled again. Water would just give her body fuel to make more tears. _

 

_ Santana nodded and ran her hand up and down Charlie’s back gently. She wished she could make her feel better, even if it was only for a split second. She licked her lips and touched a gentle kiss to the top of her head “Do you want to tell me what happened? All I’ve gathered was your dad did something and then something about him leaving.” _

 

_ Charlie shook her head again. She wasn’t sure she would be able to form the words without falling into a fit of sobs again. _

 

_ Santana sighed and watched her fingers tangle in Charlie’s hair gently. Her hair was getting long which caused it to curl naturally at the ends. She smiled at that as her fingers traced a few curls. She hadn’t seen Charlie in months. They had broken up at the beginning of their second year of college and though they had kept in touch, they hadn’t physically seen each other until that night. It was just after Spring break now and Santana thought about when she last saw Charlie. Five months ago. _

 

_ Charlie cleared her throat and Santana looked down at her quickly, anticipating her to say something. But she just adjusted herself and wrapped an arm more tightly around Santana’s waist. _

 

_ Santana smiled and rolled her eyes at herself. She felt bad, considering the circumstances, but she was enjoying holding Charlie. She wished she knew what had happened but she wouldn’t push it. She was just going to sit there and hold her all night if she needed it. _

 

_ A while later, Santana shifted her leg, which had started falling asleep where Charlie leaned against it. Charlie noticed and sat up, a frown on her lips “I’m sorry. You probably have something better you can be doing. I just didn’t know where else to go.” _

 

_ “No” Santana shook her head quickly and offered her a smile. “Not at all. I was just thinking” She nodded and slyly tried to rub at her leg to bring feeling back to it before Charlie could lean into it again. “That I knew what could cheer you up!” _

 

_ Charlie shook her head and held her frown “Nothing will cheer me up, San.” _

 

_ “Oh, but you are wrong” Santana smirked and her eyebrows gave a playful, almost suggestive wiggle. “I know one thing that always makes you feel better.” _

 

_ Charlie rolled her eyes and pushed away from her completely now “Come on, Santana, now is not the time for that. I didn’t come here for that, okay? If that’s all you want I should-” _

 

_ “No!” Santana gasped and let out a loud laugh. “Oh my god, Charlie Fabray, get your mind out of the gutter! That is not what I was talking about!” Santana scoffed, still playfully, and slid off the bed now that Charlie was off of her. She turned and grabbed for her shoes “Come on.” _

 

_ “Santana, I don’t want to go anywhere” Charlie folded her arms and sniffled again. “This isn’t a joke. I’m really upset here.” _

 

_ “I know. I’m so far from joking right now. This is serious” She tossed Charlie one of her extra school sweaters since the nights were still chilly, then grabbed her keys. “Come on, I promise you’ll like it. If not, you can leave and you’ll never have to see me again.” _

 

_ Charlie eyed the sweater she had been given and fought a smile. It was her favorite one. She had stolen it from Santana the first year she had been at college. People looked at her weird for wearing it around her own campus, which was an entire state away, but she hadn’t cared. It was her girlfriends so she wore it proudly. The night they had broken up earlier that school year she had thrown it in her face. She was glad to see Santana had held onto it for her. _

 

_ “I’m leaving!” Santana sang out and reached for the door now. _

 

_ “Okay!” Charlie scrambled off the bed and fell in step behind Santana, pulling the sweater over her head as they moved out into the hallway of the dorms and headed outside. _

 

_ Their destination was a short walk away and the two of them fell into a comfortable silence as they moved. Charlie had asked once where they were going and when Santana completely ignored her, she had given up guessing. She would just have to wait and see.  _

 

_ Santana came to a stop and reached for the handle of a door of a small, hole-in-the-wall looking building. Charlie eyed her for a second but before she could argue Santana pulled the door open and motioned for her to go inside.  _

 

_ It was after three in the morning but there were a fair amount of people inside, which surprised Charlie. She didn’t know why she was surprised, college students never slept. “Where are we?” _

 

_ Santana moved behind Charlie, put her hands on her shoulders, and lead her around a corner. There in front of them now was what looked like a salad bar but with a very distinct difference. Candy. “Charlie Fabray, welcome to Mrs. Sugar’s all night sundae buffet.” _

 

_ “Ice cream?” Charlie asked as a smile slowly slid over her lips. _

 

_ “Not just ice cream, all you can eat with all the toppings you could ever dream of ice cream.” _

 

_ Charlie shook her head slowly as her eyes scanned over the options in front of her. There were chocolates and fresh fruit and cookies. She could see hot fudge, whipped cream, and peanuts. There was more stuff to put on ice cream than she thought was even humanly possible. She was grinning from ear to ear when she turned around to look at Santana “This is perfect.” _

 

_ “I know” Santana said with a cocky shrug. She locked eyes with Charlie for a moment and that look said everything there was to say. She said she was sorry but that she would be there for her. She said she still loved her. She said she was sorry for being a dick a few months ago and breaking up with her. She let out a sigh and blinked, looking away and back to the ice cream bar “Go get yourself a bowl while I go pay.” _

 

_ “Santana you don’t have-” _

 

_ “Go” Santana said and gave Charlie’s ass a playful swat. She smiled softly as the girl finally turned and headed over to build herself a sundae. She watched her for a moment and her heart swelled with joy. There it was, that smile that could cure cancer. She was glad she could put a smile back on her face, even if the circumstances weren’t favorable. She would do anything in the world to make this girl happy. _

 

Charlie emerged from the last trees that lined the trail she had been hiking on. She had changed into some jeans and left the reception, telling her mom she wasn’t feeling well. Once she left the house and started walking it was like her feet knew where to go without her even thinking about it. So her mind had been free to drift into memories as her feet carried her to where she wanted to go. 

 

When Santana heard the unmistakable sound of feet on gravel behind her, she turned around quickly. The last thing she needed was to be be caught here and get a trespassing ticket. She was forming excuses in her mind for the cops while she waited for them to come around the bend and spot her.

 

But it wasn’t the cops. Charlie rounded the bend of the old dirt road that lead to the old factory she had often visited when she was younger. Her hands were in her jean pockets and her eyes at her feet, kicking rocks with each step she took. This was her favorite place and she hoped it could help her clear her mind. Her eyes lifted from her feet, knowing she was close to the lookout point. She froze mid-step when she saw someone else was there, leaning against the guard rail, staring at her.

 

Santana drew in a deep breath when she realized who was approaching. Of course. Why did she think she could come to this factory and look out over the city and not expect Charlie to make her way here. That had been a stupid idea on her part. This was Charlie’s favorite place in all of Lima, of course she would come. She dropped her head and turned fully in the direction of Charlie, lifting her hands in surrender “I can leave.”

 

“No” Charlie said softly and started toward her again. Her eyes focused on Santana as she approached the guard rail. Once they were both under the single street lamp that lit up the abandoned parking area for the factory, she offered the girl a soft smile. “I come in peace.”

 

Santana eyed the girl for a moment then took in a deep breath and turned to look back over the city. It was an amazing view, after all. She missed it. It reminded her of simpler times. Her hands folded together and dangled loosely over the rail with how she leaned on it with her forearms. “I didn’t think anyone would notice if I slipped out early.”

 

“I don’t think they did” Charlie said with a shrug and moved to lean into the rail too. There was a few feet between them as they both stared over the city. “I did, though.”

 

“So did you come to lecture me for being rude?”

 

“No” Charlie shook her head. “I didn’t even know you would be here. I thought you’d gone back to your parents place, to be honest.”

 

“I was on my way but I got a little side tracked” Santana shrugged and glanced behind her to the rental car she had been given to use for the weekend. Judy had rented cars for Quinn and two of Preston’s sons to use since they had traveled longer distances than the rest had. Quinn, who was staying with her mom, had borrowed the car to Santana so she could go to her parents house, or where ever else she wanted to go.

 

Charlie nodded and glanced at the car, then to Santana, then back over the city. A silence fell between them but it wasn’t awkward. There was a palpable tension so it wasn’t comfortable but it wasn’t awkward. She didn’t know what to say. She wanted to apologize but she didn’t know how to start that conversation.

 

She didn’t have to start it because Santana cleared her throat and spoke softly “I’m sorry about what I said to you earlier. I hope you know I didn’t mean it. I love Judy like my own mother and I hope this is it for her. I want her to be happy.”

 

“I know” Charlie said quickly. “I was being a complete dick to you. You were just doing what comes natural. You were fighting back.”

 

Santana nodded “Doesn’t make it right. I’m just glad no one else heard that. It was ugly.”

 

Charlie nodded in agreement but wouldn’t say it. It didn’t matter now. They had both said things over the years that were crude and disgusting to each other but she knew it was out of hurt. Santana, for as bitchy as she could be, never wanted to hurt Charlie. She knew that in her heart.

 

“So what’s up, Chuck?” Santana broke the silence again and glanced at Charlie now.

 

Charlie smiled at the old nickname. She hated it so much but damned be if it didn’t make her heart fluttered a bit at the moment. Santana was the only person who could call her that and make it sound, well, adorable. “Not much,” She finally mumbled.

 

Santana let out an unconvinced huff of a laugh and shook her head “You only come here when you’ve got something on your mind. Please don’t lie to me anymore. I’m exhausted.”

 

“Sorry” Charlie said quickly. She stared at Santana for a few moments then let out a heavy sigh “Look I’ve been an absolute nightmare and I know you know that and I am not going to sit here and try to justify my actions to you because there is no justification. I am sorry, Santana. I wish there was a word greater than sorry that would truly convey how deeply sorry I am but nothing could fully capture that so all I am left with is sorry. I’m so sorry are the only three words I can think of and they haunt me because they don’t feel good enough.”

 

“Stop” Santana whispered and looked at the girl now. Her eyes flickered with a flash of pain and she had to draw in breath to keep herself from allowing tears to form. She would not cry over this girl anymore. “I know, you’re sorry. But that doesn’t take away what you did. It doesn’t make it alright. You destroyed me, do you realize that?”

 

“I know” Charlie’s voice cracked and she blinked rapidly in hopes of quelling the tears flooding her eyes.

 

Santana took in a shaky breath and turned fully now, leaning her hip on the rail as she faced Charlie “I told myself every day what an asshole you were. I convinced myself you were the scum of the earth. I talked myself into hating everything you were and everything we ever had. Do you know what that’s like? To have to lie to yourself every day because the truth is just too painful?”

 

Charlie shook her head and blinked a few tears free. She looked at her feet as they dropped into the dirt and turned to tiny spots of mud. She felt like the lump in her throat was going to suffocate her.

 

“You know what’s worse?” Santana threw her hand to the side in frustration as her voice rose above the tears that had spilled out of her eyes “Is that I hate myself more for still loving you than I could ever hate you for what you did to me.”

 

“I never meant to hurt you” Charlie managed to choke out. “I hope you know that. I was so fucking lost, Santana. I had no idea what I was doing. My life had spiraled out of control.”

 

“I don’t want excuses, Charlie!”

 

“This isn’t an excuse. I was torn apart and I was acting out. I was trying to deal with my parents divorce and I did it in the worst way possible. I had no control over how it affected me, I know that now, but I had control over how I dealt with it and I didn’t deal with it at all. I thought I could bury myself and hide from the pain by causing someone else pain. And I-” She couldn’t go on. The tears consumed her and she broke down into a violent sob.

 

Santana pursed her lips together tightly, fighting a losing battle against breaking down herself. But when Charlie lost it, she couldn’t hold back any longer. She let out a loud sob and put a hand to her face. Her entire body hurt from the pain and sadness that had filled her body in the last few moments. She didn’t want to feel like this anymore.

 

Both girls stood there crying for what felt like months. Had the sun risen and set again? Neither could tell you. They had both been blinded by their own tears, consumed by such pain that it was a surprise neither of their bodies crumbled in on themselves. Santana was the first to draw in a breath to try to compose herself. When her eyes opened and she saw Charlie there, riddled with trembling sobs, she let her instincts take over. She closed the gap and slid her arms around the girl, pulling their bodies together in an attempt to comfort both their pain.

 

Charlie wailed out softly at the feel of being in Santana’s arms again. Her own arms moved immediately around Santana’s waist and clung to her tightly. In just a few moments of being pressed together it seemed their bodies fell in sync with each other and their breathing rhythms soon matched. Their bodies shook together as tears fell. It was as if this moment had been written like this. Neither one could fully feel, or start to heal, without the other one pressed against them.

 

They stood together like that until both of their crying started to calm. Santana was the first to open her eyes. Her gaze fell down to the top of Charlie’s head and gently she placed her chin there. They swayed together as they held one another and it was the first time in years either of them felt like maybe their pain could actually go away.

 

Charlie moved her head to look up at Santana, the motion causing Santana to dip her chin and look down at her. Their eyes met and after a few seconds of staring into the eyes of the only person that had ever felt right, Charlie blinked and straightened up. She slowly let go of Santana and took a gentle step back so she wasn’t leaning into her anymore. “I know nothing I can do will ever make right what I did to you but do you think that maybe I can try?” 

 

Santana nodded quickly and wiped at a stray tear on her cheek “I think I might like that.”

 

Charlie smiled weakly at that. Santana had always been so damn understanding when it came to everything about her. She didn’t feel she deserved her.

 

“But” Santana added through a sniffle “Can I ask you something?”

 

“Anything” Charlie said quickly. She owed it to her.

 

“Why a guy?” Santana’s chin trembled as the words escaped her mouth.

 

Charlie bit her lip and closed her eyes for a moment. She had known that sleeping with a guy would hurt the most. It had been calculated to cause the most pain. It wasn’t right but that was the reason behind her choice. That and the fact that she couldn’t stomach the thought of being with another woman. “Because I could have never, in a million years, imagined sleeping with another woman. You are-” She stopped herself and shrugged sheepishly “were the only woman on the face of this earth that I could ever give myself to like that. I didn’t love you because you were a girl. I wasn’t nervous to sleep with you for the first time because you were a girl. You were you, Santana. Man or woman, you are the only person who could ever love me the exact way I needed to be loved. And that...” She shook her head and swallowed the lump forming in her throat “that was one thing I couldn’t change no matter how many people I fucked to spite you.”

 

Santana’s eyebrows knitted together as her entire face fought back more tears. She had never loved anyone as purely as she had loved Charlie. It hurt to hear the words she spoke because she knew how true they were. Knowing what they had shared had been just as pure for Charlie as it has been for Santana gutted her. She would go to her grave knowing she could never share something like that with anyone else in the world.

 

“I’m sorry” Charlie whispered and reached out to slide her hand along Santana’s arm. “I knew what I was doing. I did it on purpose to hurt you. I wanted to push you away because I didn’t feel like I deserved to be happy, not when I was hurting so much. But you never deserved this. You never earned a single ounce of the pain I’ve caused you. You are such an amazing person, San. I will never forgive myself for tarnishing your incredible heart.”

 

“Stop” Santana choked out. She reached out and pulled Charlie back into a hug. She held her tightly as she let a few more tears escape her eyes. “I should have been better for you. I let you deal with it in the wrong way. I should have seen that you were eating yourself alive but I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to admit that I was letting you use me because I was enjoying the chance to be with you again. It was wrong. I was wrong. I should have helped you better. I should have been stronger.”

 

“You couldn’t have” Charlie whispered and pulled back from the hug enough to look up at her. “I wouldn’t have let you. I was self-destructive and no one was going to stop me. I wouldn’t have listened to you. I would have ended up mad and hurting you anyway. Please stop blaming yourself.”

 

Santana nodded and wiped both of her eyes. She let out a very slow breath and cleared her sore throat “I forgive you, you know? I never really held this against you. I couldn’t bring myself to. I guess I’ve always been a sucker for you.”

 

Charlie let out a soft laugh and wiped at her nose “Lucky for you I never fully took advantage of that.”

 

Santana laughed now too and nodded her head “God you could have gotten away with murder.”

 

Charlie smirked and gave her a nudge “Let’s go see if that’s still true. What do you say?”

 

Santana gasped and pushed her away with a loud laugh now “Charlotte Rose Fabray! How long have you been waiting to get back on my good side and use me to help you cover up what I can only imagine is a well thought out murder plan?”

 

Charlie shrugged and smirked “Couple years.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and chuckled softly before turning away from her and looking back over the city. She let herself enjoy the smile that was on her lips. Through all the pain and questions, she had missed this. Missed being able to be around Charlie. Missed seeing her smile. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Charlie looking at her. She motioned with her head for her to come close and when she did, she slid her arm around her shoulders and pulled her so she was leaning into her. The two of them stood like that, enjoying the same view they had enjoyed on their first date, and for the first time in longer than Santana could recall, all felt right with the world.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	4. Four in love, two try to mend

“Santana” Quinn whispered, putting her hand on the girl’s shoulder and giving it a soft shake. When that didn’t even seem to phase her, Quinn shook harder and spoke louder. “Santana!”

 

Santana sat up like a rocket. She blinked rapidly as her head turned back and forth trying to decide if she was under attack and needed to throw a punch. Her hair was sticking in all directions, probably because she had fallen asleep with all the hairspray in it from the night before and her mascara was all over her eyes and cheeks. Finally her eyes met Quinn and her brows knitted together in confusion “Where the Hell am I?”

 

Quinn bit back a laugh. Waking Santana was always amusing. Even if she was in her own bed she wouldn’t know where she was if you woke her out of a dead sleep. She wondered how she hadn’t broken more alarm clocks with her morning reactions. “You’re in my basement. Well, my mom’s, but you know what I mean.”

 

Santana took in a deep breath, that turned into a yawn, and closed one eye as the sun suddenly registered on her sleepy retinas. She looked around and nodded before finally turning her gaze back to Quinn. Then both eyes opened again and a look of panic took over “Why am I here?”

 

“I was going to ask you the same thing” Quinn smirked and now that she thought it was safe, sat on the couch near Santana’s feet.

 

Santana ran a hand back through her wild hair as her face twisted in attempt to remember what had happened the night before. She remembered the lookout by the old factory and the exhausting, yet much needed, talk with Charlie. Then she remembered. She looked at Quinn and whispered “Charlie.”

 

“What?” Quinn was surprised to hear that name as the supposed reason why Santana was on her couch.

 

“No” Santana shook her head to calm Quinn’s sudden paranoia. “Nothing like that.” Santana smoothed a hand over herself just to make sure and when she felt all of her clothing still on she silently sighed. Good, it was nothing like that.

 

“I thought you were going to your parents’ house last night?”

 

“I was” Santana nodded “I mean, I was on the way but I got side tracked. I ended up driving to one of the places that over looks the city. You know, feeling nostalgic about being home and what not. I guess Charlie had the same idea and we ran into each other. We talked” Santana smiled as she spoke the words. It had been a good talk.

 

Quinn arched an eyebrow curiously and fought a little smile “You two? You talked and neither of you are dead?”

 

“Nope” Santana laughed then quickly lifted her hands. She turned them over and nodded. No blood. “Yeah, neither of us are dead.” This got a laugh from Quinn and Santana shrugged “It started getting late and I offered Charlie a ride home before I went to my parents’. When I got here we were in the middle of a really good conversation so I came inside. I guess, eventually, I got so tired from everything that I passed out here.”

 

Quinn nodded slowly as a tiny smile crept over her lips. Her sister had actually listened to her and talked to Santana. Even better, it seemed as if the talk had been good. “Well I’m glad you two worked it out.”

 

“Worked it out?” Santana perked an eyebrow at that then shook her head “No, I mean, we worked a few things out but if we want to be friends we still have a long way to go.”

 

“So, you’re going to try and be friends?”

 

Santana covered her mouth as another yawn escaped, but nodded at Quinn’s question.

 

Quinn smiled a knowing smile and looked at her friend “Are you really trying to convince me that you two aren’t going to start talking again and fall into old habits just like every other time you have started talking again after a break up?”

 

“This is different, Quinn. It’s been years. She broke my trust on a level that requires a lot of rebuilding. I’m not just going to say we’re cool, let’s fuck.” Santana shook her head at the thought. She couldn’t believe Quinn thought she was that weak that she didn’t respect her own needs over Charlie.

 

“Okay” Quinn whispered, feeling bad about what she had said. “I was half teasing you.” She reached out and put a hand on Santana’s leg “I’m really happy you two talked, though. I hated seeing you cringe at just the sound of her name. Maybe now when we all get together we won’t have to walk on eggshells trying to avoid a blow out between you two.”

 

“Definitely not” Santana offered a soft smile. “I think any future gatherings will be peaceful. Like I said, we have a lot of work to do, but being in the same room with her isn’t going to kill me now.”

 

“Good” Quinn stood now and stretched a little before motioning to the bathroom across the basement “Make yourself at home. I’m going to go make some tea if you want some?”

She waved the box of tea she held in her hands. She had come down in the basement to get a new box from the pantry and that was when she had seen Santana on the couch.

 

“I’m good” Santana shook her head and yawned once more. “I think I’m actually going to clean myself up then go see my parents. I promised to see them so I better follow through. It’s been too long.”

 

“Alright” Quinn nodded and headed for the steps “But you’ll be here for dinner, right?”

 

“Wouldn’t miss it” Santana assure her friend with a smile.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

_ Quinn stood on the sidewalk in front of the Berry’s house trying to work up the nerve. She let out a heavy sigh, which caused a cloud of visible breath to rise into the air. It was holiday break during her first year of college and this winter had been particularly hard on Ohio. Record snowfall and biting low temperatures. Quinn had a feeling it was because there was no joy in her life so the cold had been allowed to move in and take over both her heart and her world.  _

 

_ She looked down at the package she had in her hands and bit at her lip. It was wrapped so perfectly, she knew Rachel would appreciate the precision of it. And the light blue ribbon she had tied into a bow was Rachel’s favorite holiday color. She smiled at the thought. Rachel loved a lot of little things that didn’t really matter but made a world of difference all at the same time. _

 

_ Quinn looked back up at the house and nodded her head. She could do this. She slowly started up the path to the front porch. With each step the frosted cement crunched under her feet. Even with the path having been shoveled, there was still ice and hardened snow stuck to the ground. She felt like each step announced her approach like a bomb exploding and she was sure any moment the front door would come open and she would be found out. _

 

_ She was trying to drop the package and run. She didn’t know if Rachel would even want to see her. It had been seven months since they had broken up and once they had graduated, Rachel had made it a point to not see Quinn. She deserved it, though. She had been awful to Rachel when all Rachel had wanted was to meet her family. A few members of the extended Fabray clan had come into town for the graduation of the triplets and when Rachel had asked when she was going to meet them, Quinn had said no. She wasn’t ready for her whole family to know. Her mother and father had been good at dealing with it on their own but neither of them had shared with the rest of the family about the girls and their “sinful lifestyles”, as Judy often mumbled when she had first found out. _

 

_ Quinn had introduced her as her friend Rachel and that’s when it all quickly spiraled out of control. Rachel couldn’t believe Quinn would spend the last two years with her, loving her openly and freely at school and at home, and yet as soon as a relative she hadn’t even mentioned in those two years had showed up, she would deny them being what they were. Quinn had tried to explain that it didn’t matter because none of these family members were a regular part of her life. So why upset everyone and cause drama? She was just trying to keep the peace. Rachel obviously felt she wasn’t important either, if Quinn had to lie about them again. So Rachel had left. If she couldn’t be her girlfriend for the weekend of graduation, she couldn’t be her girlfriend at all. _

 

_ Quinn leaned down and placed the present on the door mat. She looked down at it for a moment before turning to leave. She had done it. Now she needed to get the Hell out of there. She was three steps off the porch when the light flicked on behind her. She froze in her tracks. She was busted. The door opened behind her and her shoulders fell in defeat. “Quinn?” _

 

_ “Hey” Quinn spun around quickly. Her eyes landed on Rachel, who was in her pajamas, and she offered her a smile. _

 

_ “What are you doing here?” _

 

_ “I didn’t want to disturb you” Quinn said softly. Her eyes fell from Rachel to her feet, unable to look at her now. “I, uh-” _

 

_ “What’s this?” Rachel leaned down and scooped the gift up off the door mat and looked it over. Quinn couldn’t tell because the light was so low, but she was sure she saw an impressed smile come to Rachel’s lips when she saw the crisp wrapping job she had done. _

 

_ “It’s for you” Quinn nodded, though she was sure that had been obvious with the whole dropping and sneaking away thing. _

 

_ “Why?” Rachel asked with a shake of her head. _

 

_ “Well” Quinn took a deep breath and a few steps toward the porch now. “I got it for you for graduation, before we-” She looked at Rachel, frowned, then looked at her feet. “I didn’t want it to go to waste. It’s not something anyone else would want. It’s kind of specifically for you.” _

 

_ “Quinn” Rachel’s face softened from the firm, stoic look she had been holding. Her eyes traced the lines of the package before looking up at her “I don’t have anything for you.” _

 

_ “No, it’s okay” Quinn said with a laugh. “I don’t expect anything. I just figured I had it laying around the house, and it’s Hanumas...” She smiled up at Rachel at the word. With Rachel’s Jewish upbringing and Quinn’s Christian ones, they had decided to make their own holiday to celebrate both. That way they could have their own special time together between Menorah lightings and family dinners. A time to celebrate each other, their love, and give each other gifts. _

 

_ Rachel laughed softly at the fake holiday when Quinn mentioned it. She hadn’t thought about it all year. Why would she? She and Quinn had broken up so there had been no reason to think about it. “You remembered?” She finally whispered and looked up at Quinn with love in her eyes. _

 

_ Quinn just smiled and nodded. She tucked her gloved hands into the pockets of her winter coat and took the last few steps toward the porch. She climbed the two stairs and found herself just a few feet from Rachel now. “I figured I was in town for the holidays so I might as well drop it off here for you. I thought if you weren’t here your dads would know how to get it to you.” _

 

_ Rachel nodded and turned the present over in her hands. It was almost too pretty to open. That and she felt like it was a metaphor. If she opened the wrapping, she would be opening the wound that had been left by Quinn. She would be unleashing all of the feelings that remained and all of the words left unsaid. She didn’t want to tear into that right now. _

 

_ “You can open it” Quinn whispered. She had watched Rachel inspect it almost like she was unsure what to do next. It was her gift, she wasn’t going to take it back. _

 

_ Rachel drew in a deep breath and looked up at Quinn slowly. Her head shook side to side very carefully and her eyes filled with a sense of dread “Quinn, I don’t think I can do this.” _

 

_ “Hey” Quinn whispered and moved over to her now. She put a hand on Rachel’s arm and rubbed very gently. Her eyes were on Rachel’s and as she stared at her tenderly she spoke delicately, as if glass would shatter if she spoke too loudly “It’s just a gift. It doesn’t have to be anything else. I wanted you to have it.” _

 

_ Rachel bit her lip and had to break eye contract with her. It was too much. She looked at the gift in her hands and when her eyes closed a few tears dropped onto the perfectly folded and taped paper.  _

 

_ Quinn saw this and immediately a frown took over her entire body. This is why she tried to sneak away. She didn’t want to see the pain. “I’m sorry” Quinn whispered as her arm moved around Rachel and pulled her close to her. Her eyes closed as the scent of Rachel’s shampoo filled her senses and for a split second she felt at home. _

 

_ “You hurt me” Rachel mumbled through tears and broke Quinn’s false sense of happiness. She pulled back from Quinn’s attempt to comfort her and looked at her with determination gleaming from behind her tear-filled eyes “I am still hurt.” _

 

_ “I don’t live a single day without regretting what I did. It was so stupid, Rach. You were right, that part of my family doesn’t matter to me like you do. I see them once a year and they are so stuck in their own ways anyway that nothing we do is ever good enough. My dad built his own business, owns a beautiful home, has three smart daughters, and they still judge him. I should have known better” She shook her head and lifted a hand to wipe a tear from Rachel’s cheek “I shouldn’t have cared what they thought. You are what matters to me, not them and their snooty opinions. No one should dictate my life and happiness but me. I am so sorry, Rachel.” _

 

_ Rachel nodded quickly and looked down at the gift again. She licked her lips and a shiver slid through her body. She was only wearing thin sleep pants and a tiny tank top. She hadn’t been expecting to be standing outside so long. _

 

_ “Here” Quinn unzipped her big coat and slid it off her arms in a flash. Before Rachel could say no, she was circling her with the warm article of clothing and pulling it around her tightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to give you a cold. I just wanted to drop off a gift.” _

 

_ Rachel let out a soft laugh and looked up at Quinn again “I should have grabbed a jacket when I saw you on my porch.” _

 

_ “Wait, you were watching me?” _

 

_ Rachel bit her lip and blushed slightly. “I was watching it snow and then you appeared. I didn’t know what you were doing so I watched. When I saw you turn to run I thought you had wanted to knock but lost your nerve.” _

 

_ Quinn shook her head and let out a soft laugh “I thought you’d be in bed. I should have known.” _

 

_ Rachel shrugged, giving her a smile “I don’t go to bed as early as I used to in high school. I am a real wild child now. College has corrupted my good nature.” _

 

_ “Whatever” Quinn rolled her eyes and gave Rachel a nudge with her shoulder.  _

 

_ The two girls looked at each other for a moment and shared a smile. It was nice to be near one another again, joking and laughing. It felt so natural, like no time had passed at all. _

 

_ Finally, Quinn drew in a deep breath and her smile faded. She looked at Rachel more seriously and lifted her shoulders into a shrug, which she held for a moment as she spoke “Can you forgive me? I hate that I let my own insecurities get in the way, again. But I won’t do that anymore. In fact, when they asked me why I wasn’t as excited at graduation as I should be, I told them about you. Told them how stupid I was for letting the greatest love I’d ever know go because I cared too much what they’d say.” _

 

_ “You did?” Rachel whispered, biting back tears again. _

 

_ “Of course they told me I needed Jesus” Quinn rolled her eyes “But, yeah, I told them. Then I told them I didn’t care what they thought because I loved you and that was what mattered in the eyes of Jesus. Love thy neighbor and all that.” _

 

_ “You hate when people quote the bible at you” Rachel laughed softly. _

 

_ “Yep but at the time it seemed to fit. They argued that had not been what that meant and an entire debate about what anything in the bible meant broke out after that. Turns out that my misinterpretation of the bible mattered more than my being in love with a girl. I mean, they still ask my mom if her daughters are still on the fast track to Hell when they call but other than that, I don’t hear their criticism so I don’t care.” _

 

_ “I bet you feel really stupid, don’t you?” Rachel teased, giving her a nudge. _

 

_ “The stupidest” Quinn nodded seriously. “I’ll never lie about you again.” _

 

_ “What about me?” Rachel asked with a perked eyebrow, fighting a smile. _

 

_ Quinn bit her lip nervously and shrugged slightly “About you being my girlfriend?” _

 

_ Rachel couldn’t fight the smile anymore and it took over her features. She nodded her head a bit then leaned up to kiss at her cheek “Okay.” _

 

_ “Yeah?” Quinn’s smile stretched so wide it was a miracle her face didn’t split in half. _

 

_ “I’ve missed you” Rachel said in a whisper. “I hate not being with you. And as long as you promise to never lie about what we are to anyone else, then, yes. I want to be your girlfriend again. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” _

 

_ Quinn wrapped her arms around her tightly and pulled her into a sudden kiss. Their lips hadn’t forgotten what to do and soon they were deep in a passionate kiss. It lasted a few minutes before they finally broke away and drew in a few deep breaths to calm their burning lungs. Quinn licked slowly over her lips to pull in the sweet taste of Rachel that she had been craving for months. “You just gave me the best Hanumas gift ever.” _

 

_ Rachel giggled and licked her lips as well. “Speaking of” She looked at the package in her hands and, finally, dared to rip into it. She pulled the paper away excitedly, she loved gifts after all, and once it had all been tossed to the ground she looked at her gift. It was a beautiful wood picture frame but it was inside it that really caught her breath. Looking up at her was an original head shot of none other than her idol, Barbra Streisand. On it was the unmistakable handwriting of said idol. _

 

_ “Don’t reach for the stars, Rachel, because you are the star. So shine on, sweetheart. Don’t let anyone tell you your light isn’t the hottest and brightest of them all.” _

 

_ Rachel looked up at Quinn in awe. She was speechless, which was a hard feat to accomplish with Rachel Berry. She just stared at her a few moments before finally whispering “How?” _

 

_ Quinn shrugged as a smile took over her face at the sight of how completely shocked Rachel was “My dad worked with a guy who knew her agent. He made a few calls. I had to cash in six months of allowance for it, but it was worth it.” She lifted her gloved hand and put it to Rachel’s cheek, stroking her thumb back and forth gently “It was so worth it to see the look on your face right now.” _

 

_ “I love you so much, Quinn Fabray.” _

 

_ “I love you, too, Rach.” _

 

Quinn smiled to herself as she sipped at her tea. She had wrapped a blanket around herself and took her favorite seat on the balcony over looking the yard after making herself some tea. She was up before everyone that morning, which wasn’t unusual. Most of her classes at Yale started early so she was always up at day break. After waking up Santana and hearing about her and Charlie’s talk, she had started thinking about her own make up. Santana was right, this wasn’t going to be easy. It wasn’t a stupid mistake like hers had been with Rachel. This went deep.

 

“There you are” Rachel said with a smile as she stepped out of the sliding glass door onto the balcony. “I thought you’d left. I should have known you’d be out here.”

 

“I miss having a view in the morning” Quinn said with a smile as she scooted over on the swinging bench she had been sitting on. She opened the blanket and once Rachel had positioned herself up against Quinn, she wrapped her arm around the smaller girl, pulling the blanket tightly around the both of them.

 

“I used to think I’d always be the first up every morning” Rachel smiled, her head laying on Quinn’s shoulder as she looked out at the blossoming day. “Then college hit and your love for sleep lost to your determination to be a lawyer.”

 

Quinn laughed as she sipped her tea “You were right, you turned into a wild child in college. Staying up late and sleeping in. So rebellious.”

 

“I never called myself a wild child” Rachel rolled her eyes then took Quinn’s cup when she was done sipping and took a drink for herself.

 

“Yes you did” Quinn laughed, watching Rachel drink her tea. It was such a habit now, sharing stuff like that. It didn’t even register they were doing it most of the time.

 

“When?” Rachel gasped and sat up “I was not a wild child in college!”

 

“Oh I know you weren’t. But” Quinn smirked and took the cup back “Remember when I dropped off your Barbra picture? You tried to convince me you were a wild child who stayed up late because you caught me sneaking away when I thought you’d be asleep.”

 

Rachel blinked and thought about that night. She didn’t recall the comment, but she was sure Quinn was right. She had an incredible memory and such attention to detail. She laughed after a moment “Why were you thinking about that?”

 

“When I went downstairs to get another box of tea from the pantry this morning, I saw Santana on the couch.”

 

“What?” Rachel sat up a little straighter now.

 

Quinn nodded, shrugging a bit “She said she and Charlie talked all night and she must have just passed out there.”

 

“Charlie?” Rachel definitely looked surprised. “Wait, Santana and Charlie talked? And neither of them are dead?”

 

“Well I haven’t seen Charlie yet but there wasn’t any blood on Santana’s hands so I’m gonna go with no.” Quinn laughed and sipped her tea again.

 

“Wow” Rachel nodded slowly, her smile showing that she was surprised but impressed. After a moment she looked back at Quinn “Wait, I mean that is good news and all, but that doesn’t explain why you were thinking about when we got back together.”

 

Quinn handed over the tea to Rachel and slid her arm around her tightly “I was half teasing her and saying it was only a matter of time before they were back together. She got kind of hurt that I thought she was that kind of girl, you know? I mean, Charlie really hurt her and you can tell she is not about to forget that. There are wounds that need to heal.”

 

“Okay” Rachel nodded, sipping at the tea.

 

“Anyway. I was thinking about that. She’s right. It’s not as simple as saying you’re sorry.” Quinn shrugged and took the tea back when Rachel offered. “That’s what got me thinking about us. I messed up but all I had to do was see that I was wrong and apologize and promise not to do it again. It was simple, you know, the mistake I made. But Charlie?” She shrugged and took a drink. “Her mistake was complex.”

 

Rachel nodded and settled herself back against Quinn. She wrapped her arm around her tightly and let out a happy sigh. She was glad Quinn had realized how stupid she had been. She couldn’t imagine her life right now had she not come around and righted her wrong. “Either way, I’m glad they seem to be working toward being friends again. I really hated having to exclude one of them from plans so we wouldn’t have to avoid drama with them.”

 

“Me too” Quinn said with a nod. She sighed and settled against the bench again. She smiled and soaked in the moment there with Rachel. Things felt good again. She felt balanced again. Everything was looking up.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

It seemed like each girl had their own thing to do that day. Santana had gone to see her parents and spent the day with them. Rachel had visited her fathers while Quinn had gone to church. Brittany and Dana had slept in. Both of them worked at the high school so they were up early every morning. It was nice to get the chance to sleep in a few times a week and they both took advantage of that. Charlie took the time to hike some of her favorite paths and take pictures of her old hometown. It was a mini-vacation for all the girls.

 

Judy and her new husband weren’t leaving for their honeymoon until the next morning. They hadn’t wanted to rush away the night of their wedding. They had wanted to have a huge family dinner before they left for two weeks. So when late afternoon rolled around, the old Fabray house started to fill again, this time with only children of the newlyweds and their respective significant others. Then there was Santana.

 

She had been given an invite by Judy when she had arrived with Quinn. Even Judy was upset with what Charlie had done. She considered Santana a small part of her family, like an adoptive daughter almost. Even if she hadn’t sent an invite to her specifically she was glad Quinn had taken it upon herself to bring her. She would have missed her had she not come to the wedding.

 

The sun was starting to set and the food that Judy had spent most of the day preparing was now being set out on platters for everyone to feast from. A long table was set out in the grass of the backyard and one by one the seats were being filled. Dana and Brittany were there first. Dana never missed when her mom made pot roast. A couple of Preston’s sons joined next, each of them with a girlfriend in tow. Quinn and Rachel filled the next set of seats followed by Preston’s only daughter. As the last of the plates were brought outside, Judy looked around at the family she had formed through the union of marriage and smiled. There was so much love at this time.

 

“Where’s Charlie?” Judy asked Quinn softly as she set out some potatoes.

 

Quinn shrugged and took a drink “I haven’t seen her all day.”

 

“And Santana?” Judy asked as she settled into her seat.

 

“I’m here” Santana hurried across the yard with a bundle of flowers and what looked like pies. “I am so sorry I’m late. My mom wanted to send me with flowers and some desserts to say congratulations. The pies took a little longer than she thought.” She set the flowers near Judy then found a place on the table for the pies and unloaded her arms. She then found a seat next to Rachel and slid into it with a smile.

 

“How sweet of her. Be sure to tell her thank you for me?”

 

“Of course” Santana smiled and reached for the cup in front of her. She motioned to Dana to pass her the water pitcher in front of her and filled her cup before taking a drink.

 

Judy looked around then stood to address everyone at the table. “Well I guess we should start so the food doesn’t get cold. I don’t know where Charlie is.” She smiled at her family and folded her hands together as she started to speak “I just wanted to make this dinner for everyone to say thank you. Thank you for your love and support through the last few years and everything leading up to yesterday. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day.”

 

“Sorry I’m late” Charlie came from across the grass, seemingly out of nowhere. She had her camera hanging around her neck. She had come from the opening in the gate in the yard. She had gotten side tracked in the woods taking pictures. 

 

Judy sighed and motioned to the last open chair. It was between Dana and one of Preston’s sons. When Charlie slid into it, Judy rolled her eyes then put on a smile. “As I was saying, I wanted to make the first meal we would all share as a family.” She looked around at everyone, then to her husband, and smiled “I never thought I could have a family like this again but then I realized family is what you make it. I am proud to say that each one of you here is someone I have chosen to be a part of my family.”

 

Santana’s eyes roamed around the table to look at everyone and she felt out of place. The only reason she was here was because she had been Quinn’s substitute for Rachel. She didn’t belong here. Then her eyes fell on Charlie and her heart clenched a little bit. She wished she could be sitting by her as her girlfriend. Then she would deserve to be here. Now, well, she just felt super awkward.

 

“So eat up. Enjoy it. It is my thank you for everything you have done for us and it is hopefully a first meal of many we share together.”

 

Everyone raised their glasses in a cheers motion and after taking drinks, food started to be passed around. Conversation rose around the food quickly as bowls and plates with various meats and sides were passed in a perfect circle around the table. Once it seemed like everyone had what they wanted, voices quieted as everyone started to eat. There were a few conversations here and there, between bites, but for a few solid minutes it was mostly just the sounds of forks hitting plates.

 

As people started getting full, conversations started getting louder. Soon just about everyone was talking. Only Dana and one of Preston’s sons still had food on their plates. Judy offered everyone some pie and some of the cake she had baked and a few people took some but most were too full to keep eating. After that, Judy started to clean up. A few people protested but she insisted and just like that the beautiful meal was being packed away for later. Everyone would be assigned a tupperware of leftovers to take with them when they left.

 

“So” Rachel said with a smile and looked at each girl to make sure they were paying attention. Quinn was to her left and Santana to her right. Dana across from Santana and Brittany a chair to her left. Charlie was across from Rachel so she didn’t have to speak too loudly to get all of their attention. “I was thinking....”

 

“Here it goes” Dana mumbled sarcastically and rolled her eyes. 

 

“Hush” Rachel snapped and gave Dana a sweet smile. She knew the girl was teasing her. “Anyway, since it is rare that all six of us are together like this, I wanted to do something to commemorate this special time.”

 

“Virgin sacrifice?” Dana chimed in again with a smirk, perking up as if she was suddenly super interested. “Do I finally get to tie you down and cut a slit across your stomach?”

 

“Dana!” Quinn growled, a bit annoyed at her constant interruptions.

 

Santana just let out a muffled laugh and shook her head “Barking up the wrong tree there, Dana.”

 

Dana’s lip curled on the side in a bit of disgust and she looked at Quinn “Ew! Q, how could you?”

 

“Give me a break” Quinn tossed a spare piece of broccoli at her sister with a laugh. The rest of the girls let out a soft laugh. Dana knew, obviously, that Rachel had long ago lost her virginity but she just couldn’t pass up a chance to tease her. She didn’t get to see them very often so she had to make it worth her time.

 

“No” Rachel rolled her eyes “And thank you for thinking I have enough will power to resist your sister this long. Not unfortunately, this is not the case. Your sister happens to be very sexy and-”

 

“Ew” Charlie and Dana both said at the same time. They exchanged a look then let out a laugh while both ducking another onslaught of broccoli that Quinn had fired at them.

 

“Anyway!” Rachel huffed, now a bit irritated she couldn’t finish what she had been saying. “I was thinking that we get the six of us together for one more good old fashioned sleepover!”

 

Rachel’s face showed excitement at her idea but everyone else just kinda looked unimpressed. Brittany looked at Dana who looked at Santana who looked at Quinn. Charlie shrugged her shoulders and looked at her plate. When no one seemed to jump onboard, Rachel frowned and folded her arms “Oh come on. We hardly get to see each other. It will be fun. We can watch movies and stay up all night chatting like we used to. Come on, for old time’s sake?”

 

Santana sighed and rolled her eyes. This would be just like at home. Her and Rachel watched movies almost every night before bed. The only difference was they would be sleeping on the floor and not in their own beds. “Fine” Santana finally said with a shrug “I’m in.”

 

“Me too” Quinn said with a smile “I sleepover with her all the time anyway.”

 

“Gross” Dana mumbled then looked at Brittany “What do you think, babe? Wanna crash at my mom’s tonight or go home?”

 

“Can we watch Lady and the Tramp?” Brittany asked hopefully, looking around at the other girls. “I haven’t seen it in so long.”

 

“If we can find it” Rachel said with a nod “I don’t see why not.”

 

“Then I am so in” Brittany smiled widely “This should be fun!”

 

All eyes seemed to simultaneously fall on Charlie. She was the only one who hadn’t agreed to it. When she noticed it had gone quiet, she looked up from where she had been poking at her potatoes. When she noticed everyone looking at her, she shrugged “What?” She let out a soft laugh “I didn’t say no. I’m in. Better than heading home tonight, which I was planning on doing. What’s one more night with my sisters and best friends?” Her eyes landed on Santana and a faint smile came to her lips. Best friend. She liked the thought of that being true between herself and Santana again. If this night helped bring them a little closer to that, she was all for it.

 

“Yay” Rachel clapped happily and bounced in her seat. “I already okayed it when your mom, she said we are more than welcome to the entire basement. This is going to be so much fun! I will go set up!” Before anyone could stop her, Rachel was off like a shot and running inside. Everyone else at the table exchanged a few more looks then laughed. Typical Rachel Berry.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

By the time the rest of the girls dragged themselves into the basement, Rachel already had the bed made up for them on the floor. Just like in high school she had pulled the coffee table out of the way to make room between the two couches for all the blankets and pillows. She had it all set up and waiting for them. She grinned from where she was perched in the middle of the blankets when she saw the girls coming down the stairs “Okay! So I picked out a few movies. Lady and the Tramp is one of them.” Brittany smiled at that. “So go get in your pajamas girls!”

 

“I sleep naked” Dana mumbled and kicked off the shoes she had been wearing outside “So either this is gonna be a super awkward sleepover or I will just crash in my jeans.”

 

“You can borrow some of mine” Quinn offered with a little shrug.

 

Dana looked at her sister a moment as if she wasn’t sure about that idea. Finally she shrugged “Yeah alright.”

 

The girls turned around and headed back up the stairs to change. Santana still had her bag of clothes so she moved to the bathroom across the basement to change. Brittany had followed Dana so that left Charlie. When Rachel eyed her, Charlie looked down at herself and laughed “I’m in my pajamas already. I changed before I came down here.”

 

“Good. Always so prepared. That’s the Charlie I know.” She patted the spot to her right and motioned for her to come sit and join her. Once she was settled on the bed next to her, Rachel gave her a sweet, knowing smile “So I heard you and Santana talked.”

 

Charlie rolled her eyes but nodded “You and everyone else, apparently.”

 

“Well, it’s big news! No more fighting. That is exciting. I am glad you made up because I had really wanted to do this tonight and I was dreading having to awkwardly exclude one of you two.”

 

“Well then you’re welcome” Charlie said with a nod. “And, trust me, I am glad we talked too. I feel a thousand times lighter. Like the literal weight of my world has been lifted off my chest.”

 

Rachel smiled and reached out to take her hand “I am so happy to hear that. I just feel like...” She drew in a deep breath and smiled softly “like the group is whole again. I feel like this is going to be the start of a fresh beginning.”

 

“Let’s hope” Charlie said softly just as the door opened and Santana came out of the bathroom in her pajamas. She offered a little smile to the two girls that watched her approach the bed then dropped her bag of things off to the side so it was out of the way.

 

“Quinn, stop!” Dana’s voice was heard coming down the stairs.

 

Quinn was giggling with each step they took.

 

“Jesus!” Dana thumped down the last few steps and turned around with a growl “You trying to kill me?”

 

“You weren’t going fast enough!” Quinn laughed as she hit the bottom step with a bounce. “I was just trying to kick it up a notch.”

 

“Literally” Dana scowled and rubbed at her ass. 

 

Quinn shrugged and hopped up to kick Dana in the ass once more before skipping over to the bed and plopping down next to Rachel.

 

Brittany came up behind Dana and giggled as she swatted her on the ass too “Well hurry up. Lady and the Tramp awaits!”

 

Once the girls settled, Dana against the far couch with Brittany between herself and Charlie, Rachel clapped to herself and took a deep breath “Alright ladies. I want to thank you for agreeing to this. I know it’s silly but it means a lot to me.”

 

“Boring” Dana called out and Brittany elbowed her in the ribs. 

 

Rachel rolled her eyes then put on another smile “Anyway. I just..” She looked around her and met the eyes of each of the girls. She felt like she was sixteen again. These girls were her best friends and her family. She didn’t know where she would be had Charlie not befriended her and brought her into this crazy circle of girls. Her life was changed because of them and she wasn’t sure any of them really understood how grateful she was for that. She shook her head and finally just shrugged “I love you girls.”

 

“Yeah yeah yeah” Santana said with a laugh and reached out to pull Rachel into her. She gave her a tight hug then pushed her away with a smile. Quinn leaned over and kissed her. Charlie reached across her sister and took hold of Rachel’s hand. The girls shared a smile then Charlie let her go and straightened up again. 

 

“Can we watch the movie now?” Dana asked with a yawn. She wasn’t the rebel who could stay out all night anymore. She was usually the first to bed now.

 

“Yes” Rachel rolled her eyes and reached for the remote. She pressed play and Lady and the Tramp started to play. Brittany smiled and settled back against Dana to watch her favorite movie.

 

The rest of the girls all settled and soon a comfortable silence settled as the movie rolled along. Santana had her back to the couch that acted as the outer boundary of the bed. Her eyes kept shifting from the screen to the girls in the room. It was nice to be around everyone again. She had missed the calm group hang outs that had been non-existent since Charlie and herself hadn’t been speaking. But now it was like having an arm she had lost back. 

 

The girls didn’t realize that Santana was watching them. Brittany laid on Dana’s chest, contently watching the movie. Dana’s fingers ran through Brittany’s hair gently. The way the two of them laid together kinda made Santana’s heart twist. They really were so perfect together. Then her eyes landed on Quinn and Rachel. They were laying face to face, completely ignoring the movie. They were whispering to each other and giggling softly together. Usually at home she was in bed by the time they started being super cute together. She never felt more alone than when she heard Rachel’s giggles in the middle of the night.

 

Then she saw Charlie. She was paying full attention to the movie and the glow of the tv was lighting her perfectly. Her little nose was silhouetted like an angel against a cloud. Santana had to look away. She hated being so close to Charlie. The feelings that she had for the girl would probably never go away and now that she wasn’t blindingly mad at her she was starting to see all the little things that she fell in love with. Add the cute couples around her right now and it was too much. She stood up suddenly and stepped around the couch.

 

“Santana?” Rachel looked over to her and and frowned.

 

“I will...” She took a deep breath and shrugged “I need a drink.” She turned without letting anyone stop her and headed up the stairs. She needed fresh air. She needed to not be surrounded by love. She was strong and independent but she was also human and it had been a long time since she had felt the arms of someone else around her. With the emotional weekend it just became too much to handle and she had to get away from it.

 

The girls left in the basement exchanged a look then went back to what they were doing. None of them seemed too worried about it. But ten minutes later when Santana hadn’t returned, Charlie noticed. She looked around and when no one else seemed to really care, she looked at the stairs where Santana had disappeared, and let out a sigh. She stood up now and looked at the other girls with a shake of her head “I guess I’ll go.”

 

Rachel and Quinn looked at each other then at Charlie. Rachel opened her mouth to stop her then thought twice about it. They were okay, they had talked, this would be alright. Let Charlie go. Maybe it was best if it was her anyway. Charlie reaching out as a friend could only help their progress, right?

 

Charlie rolled her eyes then moved toward the steps. She hadn’t taken her bag so she was sure Santana was still at the house. Now the question was, where. With an acre and a half to look through she only had one idea where to start. The roof.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	5. Five senses, no reasoning

_ Santana let out a grunt as she hoisted herself up the last bit and onto the roof. She brushed her hands together and made her way over to where Charlie laid back on the tiles. She looked up into the sky in the direction of where Charlie was staring. When she didn’t see anything of interest, she looked back down at Charlie and gave her a gentle smile “What’s up, Chuck?” _

 

_ Charlie’s eyes shifted to look at Santana and a frown came to her lips. She rolled her eyes before shifting them to look back into the night sky “Nothing.” _

 

_ Santana gave an unconvinced nod then shifted to sit on the blanket next to Charlie. She kicked back a bit, letting her hands hold her up, and her eyes focused on her surroundings. The Fabray’s roof was one of those perfect roofs that wasn’t flat but wasn’t too slanted. The angel was just right to prop you up enough to look down both directions of your street. Santana nodded to herself at the view then looked over at Charlie again with a gentle gaze “Nice spot you got here.” _

 

_ “What do you want?” Charlie asked with a shake of her head before looking over at Santana again. _

 

_ “Hey” Santana offered her a shrug “I have been looking for you all over. I was worried about you. I heard about Mr. Wilcox.” _

 

_ Charlie looked away and back up into the night sky. She didn’t say anything but the heavy sigh she released was confirmation enough to Santana that Charlie was on the roof because of the news. Charlie’s favorite teacher had passed away over the weekend and today at school the news was shared with all of the students. As soon as she had heard, Santana had looked for Charlie but she had left school early. Santana had spent the entire day trying to track her down. _

 

_ “I’m sorry” Santana said softly and shifted now to lay on her side, facing Charlie now with a soft frown on her lips. Her hand slid out to touch at her arm, her other hand was being used to prop her head up. “Do you wanna talk about it?” _

 

_ Charlie shook her head and lifted her hand to wipe at a little tear. It was the beginning of her Senior year and now she would have to deal with her favorite class being another dull class. That teacher had inspired her. He had told everyone to find beauty in the unexpected and that had touched her so deeply. He favored her work a lot. He had friends in high places and was always telling her one day he would be coming to a gallery opening for her photography. He had been one of the only people, aside from Rachel, who believed in her love of photography and that it would take her somewhere one day. _

 

_ Santana scooted closer and pulled Charlie right up against her with her arm around her waist. She leaned down and touched a light kiss to her shoulder before laying her head back on her hand. She let out a soft sigh and kept her eyes on Charlie as Charlie stared into the sky.  _

 

_ They laid together for a long time before Charlie finally turned her head to look at Santana. She lifted her hand and pushed some of Santana’s bangs out of her eyes and managed to smile “You don’t have to lay here with me. I am more than capable of pouting all by myself.” _

 

_ Santana just shrugged a single shoulder “There is nowhere in the world I would rather be than right here with you.” _

 

_ Charlie leaned up and touched a light kiss to her lips. She let it linger for just a moment before she pulled back and laid her head back onto the roof. She gazed into Santana’s eyes for a few moments before her head rolled away and her eyes focused on the sky again. She let out another sigh and when she finally spoke it was in a whisper so quiet had there been any noise at all around them it would have been inaudible “He was more than a teacher, San. He was my biggest fan.” _

 

_ “That’s not true” Santana said with a shake of her head as her fingers gently slid back and forth against Charlie’s stomach. _

 

_ “Yes it is. He was like my own personal cheerleader. Everything I turned in was amazing to him. He understood my vision. Do you know he sent some of my stuff to people he knows at some magazines and colleges? He told me I was the future of photography.” _

 

_ “Just because he liked everything you did and was helping you further your talent doesn’t mean he was your biggest fan. He was doing his job, Chuck. He is supposed to encourage you.” Santana leaned in and kissed at her cheek lightly “Now me? I would definitely consider myself your biggest fan.” _

 

_ Charlie rolled her eyes and looked over to Santana out of the corner of her eye “You barely blink when I show you my stuff.” _

 

_ “It’s because I don’t know anything about photography. At least, I didn’t at first. So I would look at it and I wouldn’t really get it. But then you would explain it to me and I started to learn and I started to understand. I started to get what you were doing and why you loved what you did. I started to understand why you were so good. You taught me.” Santana smiled and gave her another shrug “And I think that’s why fans become fans. Because the person they start out admiring ends up teaching them lessons they didn’t know they needed to learn.” _

 

_ Charlie rolled her eyes even though inside she was fighting wanting to outwardly swoon. She wasn’t sure how but Santana always knew just what to say to make her not only feel better, but more special than anyone in the world was able to. _

 

_ “And” Santana added with a bit of a shy smile “If you look at the top of my closet I have a scrapbook of every photo you have given to me. There are some of us, some of the ones we have taken on hikes together, and some of just the random stuff you shoot. You know when you hang out forever on your bedroom floor sorting through all your prints only to pick out like two that you approve of?” She bit her lip shyly “I usually sneak a few out of the pile for my own collection too.” _

 

_ “Santana Lopez, you little thief” Charlie gasped and sat up now, turning to face Santana with a surprised and flattered smile on her lips. “I can’t even believe it. You really stole from me?” _

 

_ “Borrowed” Santana offered with a slight smirk “I was going to give them all back to you one day. Maybe.” She let out a laugh and rolled her eyes “Okay I was going to show you when we moved in together one day and it would just be like a thing that we showcased at our place?” _

 

_ “Our place?” Charlie was now sitting up, her weight propped up on her hands behind her, her head turned to watch Santana. _

 

_ Santana blushed and she was glad for the dark night so Charlie wouldn’t notice. She just shrugged and moved to sit back on her hands again. She moved her foot and playfully nudged Charlie’s with hers “You know, in the future one day? I don’t know where I’m going to college. Maybe we will end up in the same place and, you know, living together could be an option if that happens?” _

 

_ Charlie let out a soft laugh and used her foot to push at Santana’s playfully. Soon they were playing an awkward side by side version of footsies. “Well” Charlie said with a shrug, her eyes fixed on their playing feet “Maybe if we end up in the same place.” _

 

_ Santana lifted her hand off the roof and moved her arm around Charlie. She pulled her into her so Charlie was leaning into her body. She kissed the top of her head then looked up to the sky “I guess we will just have to wait and see then, huh?” _

 

_ “I guess so” Charlie shrugged and slid her arm around Santana, letting her full weight lean against her. She laid there in Santana’s arms for a long time, just enjoying her company. For a few moments Santana had gotten her to forget about her heartache over her teacher and she wasn’t sure if Santana knew just how much her efforts meant to her. Finally she broke the silence and looked up at Santana, kissing her chin, before whispering to her gently “Thank you.” _

 

_ Santana just nodded. She wasn’t sure what she was being thanked for and she wouldn’t ask. All she knew was Charlie wanted her there so she must have helped even a little bit. So she just looked down to the girl in her arms and smiled “Any time, Chuck.” _

 

Charlie shook away the memory of the last time she had been on the roof and looked up at where she now needed to climb. That had been over five years ago and even if she was still young she definitely wasn’t sure she was as nimble as she used to be. She took a deep breath, tucked the blanket she had grabbed on her way out of the house under her jacket, and reached up. She had to remember all her grab holds and foot holds. As soon as she started the ascent it came back to her and it was like she had climbed onto the roof just yesterday.

 

She grunted a little as she pulled herself over the top but once she had her feet up, she smiled. She still had it. She crawled up to her feet and brushed herself off before pulling the blanket out from under the jacket so she didn’t look goofy, then walked toward the dark figure near the chimney. She let out a little sigh when she stepped up next to Santana then without asking she sat next to her and shook the blanket out before pulling it over both of their legs. She looked over at the girl and frowned very slightly before reaching out to touch at her leg “What’s up, Chuck?”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh and sniffled a little bit. She had been silently crying by herself but had managed to almost dry herself up before Charlie had made it over to her but there were still a few lingering tears. “You can’t use that on me. That’s my thing.”

 

“Too bad” Charlie shrugged and nudged her shoulder lightly. “Besides, what’s up San doesn’t have the same ring to it.”

 

“Yeah my name isn’t as fun to play with as yours is” Santana said with a nod. Her head turned and she was glad for the dark night so Charlie couldn’t see her red puffy eyes.

 

Charlie nodded then let out a soft sigh “So what’s going on?”

 

Santana just shook her head and used a hand to push some stray hairs off her own cheek “It’s stupid.”

 

“Considering I am pretty good at making stupid choices I don’t think I would have room to judge” Charlie’s hand moved from Santana’s leg to gently move around her back. She rubbed it gently and leaned over a bit to try and catch Santana’s eyes.

 

Santana caught Charlie’s movement out of the corner of her eyes and finally looked up. She offered her a little half smile that didn’t really hold any real happiness before she shrugged “I don’t know, Charlie. It’s been hard on me. Being around Quinn and Rachel and seeing them so happy and now Dana and Britt this weekend. I just...” She looked down a moment before looking back at Charlie again “I needed to get out of there.”

 

Charlie nodded and now she was the one to look away. That was definitely not what she had been expecting Santana to say and now she felt guilty for it. It was her fault, ultimately, that Santana was alone. At least she thought so anyway.

 

When Charlie didn’t say anything, Santana let out a sigh and turned her eyes to look out over the neighborhood. They could see almost every house on the block but the trees that lined the street blocked them from the view of anyone that might be on the street. Even in the middle of the city this spot was a world away, it seemed. 

 

They both sat there in a bit of an awkward silence for a few minutes. Charlie had long taken her hand off Santana’s back and folded it in her lap with her other hand. Santana sat cross legged, elbows on her knees, head in her hands. For two people sharing a blanket they couldn’t have seemed more like strangers in the moment if they tried.

 

“I’m sorry” Charlie finally blurted out to break the silence that had been eating her alive. When Santana turned to look at her suddenly, she just shrugged “I feel like those two words have lost all meaning with how many times I’ve said them to you, but I am. I am just so, so sorry, Santana.”

 

“Stop” Santana turned now to face Charlie “Just stop, okay? This isn’t your fault.”

 

“Isn’t it?” Charlie asked, staring right into Santana’s eyes with a gaze so intense it might have ignited a fire had she been staring at dry brush.

 

Santana opened her mouth to say no but stopped herself. She let out a sigh and dropped her chin so she could break the stare from Charlie. 

 

“See?” Charlie mumbled and folded her arms now “And for that I am sorry.”

 

“Charlie” Santana hissed with frustration and looked up at her again “I told you to stop, okay? Yeah, you broke my heart and we broke up but I didn’t have to stay single. There were plenty of girls at school that would have been glad to get with me. I’m smart, I’m sexy, and I’m wounded which a lot of girls dig, I guess.” She sighed and gave her head a shake “But none of them made me look twice, okay? I used to think it was because I was too broken to want to try but then I realized it was because I never let myself look twice. It was because I couldn’t let myself let you go. A very big part of me belongs to you, and probably always will, and because of that I wouldn’t let myself try. It’s my fault. I am too stupid to get away from you completely.”

 

“Santana,I-”

 

Santana shook her head and held up a finger to stop Charlie’s protest. “And that isn’t your fault, okay? I think there is a part of me that never wants to let you go so I just let myself be miserable and alone so I don’t betray you. It’s helped give me a reason not to take a chance, not to try, and to hide myself so I wouldn’t get hurt again. Even though the way you hurt me is probably the greatest pain I am capable of ever feeling, I didn’t want to risk it. I’ve had a lifetime of pain already, I didn’t want anymore.”

 

Charlie bit her lip and looked away. She had always known she tore Santana apart with what she had done but actually hearing it put into words like that? It killed her. She hated herself even more and now she knew that sorry was definitely not a word that would make anything better. Nothing would. So she just sat there in silence and let herself hurt because she deserved it more than anyone in the world did.

 

Santana pulled in a deep breath and looked away as well. Seeing Charlie’s head drop like that felt like a gut punch. She had tried so hard to not let her know because she knew how badly Charlie would feel. She hated herself for it but even to this day she was protecting Charlie from harm. Even when she probably deserved it, Santana hated the idea of Charlie hurting. It was frustrating. The one person who had caused her the most pain was the person who she never wanted to see hurt. It should have been the other way around but it wasn’t and Santana hated it.

 

“Is there anything I can do?” Charlie whispered, clearing her throat as she looked back up at Santana. “Is there any way that I can help you? I don’t want you putting me first anymore. I don’t deserve that. I haven’t deserved that for years. I want you to be happy, Santana. I want you to smile and laugh and be the drop dead irresistible beauty that you are again. You should be out there, breaking hearts, kicking ass, and taking names.”

 

Santana shook her head and slowly looked back up to Charlie. Her eyebrows were knitted together in a deep frown as her eyes met the other girl’s gaze. There was an intensity that hadn’t been held in her eyes for years as she whispered “I haven’t let you go because I don’t want to, Charlie. Don’t you get it?”

 

Charlie trembled at the look in Santana’s eyes and the words she spoke. She felt her heart jump into her throat before it started to thunder against her rib cage. She wasn’t sure she could handle looking at Santana like this, let alone being so close to her. “Why not?” She was finally able to choke out.

 

“Because I fucking love you” Santana’s voice broke but there was still a thick determination behind the words. She needed Charlie to know that. She wasn’t sure why but she had suddenly been overwhelmed with the need for Charlie to understand. “We never had closure. We never had a chance to say goodbye. My head knows we broke up two years ago but as far as my heart is concerned I am still smack dab in the middle of you and I.”

 

Charlie swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head quickly. She started to get tingly, as if her entire body was going numb. Her heart was racing so fast she could hear it echoing around her brain. This was too much. She had to get out of there. She never wanted to hear these words. She didn’t deserve Santana’s love, especially not now. “I can’t do this” Charlie mumbled and turned to get to her feet.

 

“Wait” Santana reached out and grabbed her hand before she could run off. When Charlie stopped, Santana gave her hand a tug until she turned to look at her. When their eyes met it was like they both looked into each others souls. It was as if that look said something neither one of them wanted to admit to. For a reason neither of them understood in that moment, they needed each other.

 

Charlie fell to her knees in front of Santana and her hands immediately cupped at her face. Without a thought about it, her lips leaned in and captured Santana’s in a heated kiss. When their lips touched there was an ignition between them, a spark neither of them had felt in years. In that very instance there was no wrong, it was only right.

 

Santana returned the kiss without hesitation, which should have surprised her but it didn’t. Her heart seemed to be jumping for joy in her chest as their lips tangled together. There was nothing gentle about the kiss. It was heated and needing and passionate right from the start. Soon tongues were twisting around each other and teeth were pulling at lips. Like a man having been stranded in a desert finally getting a gulp of water, their lips were gorging on the relief and pure pleasure of being together like this again.

 

It wasn’t long before hands were pulling at clothing. There was an urgency behind their movements, it seemed. It was as if their bodies knew that if it didn’t happen fast their brains would catch up and stop them. Neither of them seemed to want that so within just moments, Charlie’s shirt was gone and the ties of Santana’s pajama shorts were pulled loose.

 

Santana shifted now so she could guide Charlie to her back. Thank god she had brought the blanket up with her. Santana pulled back from the kiss long enough to watch herself move Charlie onto her back against the blanket that was half bunched up under them. But neither of them seemed to care. A smooth soft surface was the last thing on their mind.

 

When Charlie was settled on her back, she caught Santana’s eyes and offered her a soft smile. Her hands moved up Santana’s back, gathering her shirt as she went, and with one quick movement the shirt was off and tossed to the side. She took a single moment to look over Santana’s bare chest before leaning up and capturing her lips all over again. It was like looking at a favorite painting for the hundredth time and the first time all at once.

 

A moan escaped Santana when their lips met again. The way Charlie pulled her down caused their chests to press together. Though there was a light breeze, the warmth of Charlie’s skin against hers was all she really felt. As their tongues tangled, Santana’s fingers reintroduced themselves to Charlie’s skin. For the first time since the kiss had started, the sense of urgency faded slightly, and Santana took a moment to absorb what was happening.

 

Goosebumps rose on Charlie’s skin in a path that followed where Santana’s fingers had touched. Another shiver rolled through her body and her back arched on it’s own. Every single nerve was on fire with each touch from Santana. No one had ignited her like Santana could. She wasn’t sure how she just knew her body so well, but she did, and each touch was now reminding her of that. She realized she had been living her life numb since the night Santana had last touched her. 

 

Santana’s fingers jumped into action suddenly, as if a fire had been lit inside them. The urgency between them was back again and she was letting her fingers lead the way. She pulled at the waistband of Charlie’s bottoms and when Charlie lifted just enough, the bottoms were gone. An arm reached out and looped around Charlie’s right thigh. Santana pulled it up against her side as her left hand moved up. Fingers curled around the fabric of the panties Charlie wore, giving a tug until they slid down her hips. She didn’t wait to take them off fully. As soon as they were out of the way, her fingers dipped between Charlie’s legs, making a single pass through the heated desire that had gathered there, before two fingers thrust inside her.

 

Charlie cried out in ecstasy when Santana filled her so suddenly. Her back arched, her head rolled back, and her eyes slammed shut. She couldn’t hold the kiss any longer, not with the amount of pleasure coursing through her. Her mouth simply hung open, pulling in deep breaths with each move of Santana’s fingers.

 

Santana had rocked back slightly when her fingers had dove inside Charlie. Her eyes came open and she watched the girl beneath her each time her arm thrust forward. She watched Charlie’s face twist in pleasure. She watched her lips twitch each time her fingers pushed into just the right spot. Watching Charlie used to be one of her favorite things but in that moment something took over Santana and she as she watched her now, it wasn’t with pleasure, but with contempt. 

 

When Santana’s hand suddenly started moving faster, thrusting harder, Charlie’s eyes came open and she saw Santana above her. She saw the way Santana was looking at her. She saw what looked like determination in her eyes. Each new thrust or curl of the fingers inside her sent waves through her. There was pleasure and there was love coursing throughout her entire body, but there was something else, too. Something she couldn't quite place.

 

“Come on, Charlie” Santana whispered, her voice having taken on a husky tone now. She licked her lips and leaned down to place a kiss to Charlie’s gently. A smile flickered over her lips and the contempt faded for a moment. She felt herself filled with love and desire for the girl below her again. It felt right, almost perfect. Her hand slowed just slightly and her fingers now curled more, searching for that spot that drove Charlie absolutely over the edge.

 

When Santana’s face softened, Charlie smiled too. She licked at her lips and gave the girl above her a nod. They managed to hold a longing gaze for a few moments before Santana’s fingers rediscovered their favorite spot and Charlie had to throw her head back in pleasure again. Her eyes snapped closed and her entire body started to tremble around the fingers working so skillfully within her.

 

“Come on” Santana whispered again. She watched every little twitch of Charlie’s face and body and a smile came to her lips. In that moment she realized she was enjoying it. She was completely consumed by Charlie, by the feel of her, by every inch of her being. Inside and out, as much as she tried to fight it, she still loved Charlie. There wasn’t a single bone in her body that could bring herself to hate her. It was then, in that moment of realization, that her hand slowed completely. She couldn’t do this. She wasn’t sure what it had started out as, but somewhere in her mind she had convinced herself this was a revenge fuck. She had been determined to make Charlie feel good, then make her feel like shit. But now she couldn’t. She still loved Charlie and nothing about this was going to be alright in the morning. This was not going to make her feel better.

 

“I’m sorry” Santana pulled her hand out of Charlie with a quick shake of her head. “I can’t...” She reached for her shirt and quickly got to her feet. She was fighting tears that had filled her eyes the moment she had realized what she was trying to do. She stumbled to the edge of the roof, pulled on her shirt, and turned to start her decent.

 

“Wait” Charlie sat up breathlessly, her eyes a little unfocused from having been closed. She blinked rapidly and tried to scramble after Santana, but her legs were half jello and not functioning as they should have. “Santana, wait! We can talk-” But it was too late. Santana’s form disappeared over the side of the roof and she was gone.

 

Charlie was left sitting there, head spinning. She looked around at the disheveled items on the roof and suddenly her body was racked with sobs. She pulled her knees to her chest and buried her fact against them. This was the most humiliating thing she had ever experienced in her life and the worst part was that she couldn’t blame Santana. She deserved this.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Shit” Santana cried out softly. She had just stubbed her toe in the dark looking for her bag. She had to get out of there. She would call a cab and go to the airport and get the first flight she could find. She couldn’t hang around, not after what she had just done.

 

“Santana?” A whisper came from behind her and she froze. Her heart jumped into her mouth and she had to swallow it back down. Maybe if she just held still whoever was behind her would think they were dreaming and go back to sleep. “What are you doing up?” 

 

Santana let out a sigh and slowly turned around to see a sleepy Rachel standing there in the dark. Her shoulders fell and she shook her head, fighting off wanting to cry out “Sorry I-”

 

“Are you crying?” Rachel frowned and moved over to her friend now.

 

“No” Santana pushed Rachel away and turned her face. Her eyes blurred with unshed tears but that didn’t stop her for looking for her bag.

 

“What happened?” Rachel whispered and reached out to try and stop Santana.

 

“Let me go” Santana cried out and ripped her arm away from Rachel. She spotted her bag and scooped it up quickly before turning around. When Rachel was right behind her, she let out a frustrated sob and shook her head “Please just let me go.”

 

“It’s the middle of the night, Santana. Where are you going?” Rachel stepped up to her and wiped at her cheek “And you are crying. Can’t you just tell me what happened?”

 

“I fucked up, okay? I just want to leave and never come back.”

 

“How?” Rachel shook her head. “What did you do?”

 

“Just let me go!” Santana shouted now which caused some stirring on the bed where the rest of the girls were asleep. 

 

Rachel blinked and stepped back. She was worried but she also knew when not to push Santana. She wasn’t sure what was going on but if Santana was that determined to leave she couldn’t stop her. So she stepped aside and looked to the floor “Be careful.”

 

Santana didn’t respond. She pushed passed Rachel and stormed up the stairs. It wasn’t until she was outside and halfway down the block, barefoot, that she stopped and put her bag down. She let herself break down into the sobs that had been building inside her since the roof. She crumbled to her knees on the grass, buried her head in her hands, and disintegrated. At least she wished she could have. She didn’t want to exist anymore.

 

She stayed there like that until her body couldn’t do it anymore. There were no more tears for her to shed. Her body could no longer shake with sobs. She was completely spent. When her hands fell from her face, she blinked and looked around herself. She was glad it was the middle of the night because no one needed to see her like this. She sat there defeated, deflated, and wondered how she could have let this happen.

 

It was years before she moved. At least it felt that way. When she finally moved her muscles were sore and they creaked with each movement but she needed to get out of there. She reached for her bag, dug her hand into the pocket, found her phone, and dialed for a cab. After hanging up she managed to pull on some clothes, some shoes, and get to her feet. Never in her life had she been so happy to see that ugly yellow color on a car coming toward her. She couldn’t climb inside fast enough, it seemed. As soon as she was settled in her seat and the man took off toward the airport, she let her eyes close. She never wanted to see Lima again. She was praying that when her eyes opened it would all be a bad dream. But life never worked like that, did it?

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“Santana?” Rachel whispered softly, her hand on the sleeping girl’s shoulder lightly. She gave her a few light shakes trying to wake her even though she knew Santana needed much more than a light shake to wake her.

 

Surprisingly, Santana stirred. She rolled over in her bed and her eyes opened slowly. When she had gotten home, she had crawled into bed and cried until she passed out. She had no idea what time it was, or what day. All she knew was she was sore. 

 

“Hey sleeping beauty” Rachel smiled softly and climbed into bed next to Santana without asking. She moved right up next to her and put her arm around her shoulders gently. She gave her a soft pull until Santana laid against her and immediately started to soothingly rub over her back. She touched a kiss to the top of her head and settled against the pillows behind her. There was no need to talk right now. She knew Santana as well as anyone did and knew she needed her own time to come to her. If she wanted to talk, she would. Until then, Rachel would just hold her.

 

The next time Santana opened her eyes, the room was dark. She pushed off the bed slowly and looked down at Rachel, who she had been sleeping against, apparently. Her brows knitted together in confusion and she turned to sit on the bed next to her now “When did you get home?”

 

“A few hours ago” Rachel said softly, folding the book she had been reading closed and setting it aside. She gave her friend a smiled “You looked too peaceful when I got here so I just let you sleep. You didn’t even snore this time.”

 

“This time?” Santana asked with a laugh. “How many times have you heard me snore?”

 

“A few. Sometimes when you pass out on the couch you snore. And the times I’ve held you while you’ve cried” Rachel shrugged. “You usually snore after crying because you are stuffed up. But you didn’t this time.”

 

“Probably because I was in more of an entire body coma than a crying nap” Santana shrugged and looked at her hands that fiddled with the sheets. She hated that Rachel had known she had been crying. Even more so she hated that Rachel had held her without even knowing why.

 

Rachel nodded slowly and sat up from the pillows now. She leaned over and took Santana’s hand to stop it from fiddling. “I don’t mind, you know? I actually really like when I get to snuggle my roomie.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes but smiled. She would never admit it, but she liked when Rachel held her, too. It was one of her favorite things about living with her. They had gotten really close. Rachel was definitely her best friend.

 

“So” Rachel gave her hand a squeeze “I was going to order a pizza. Are you hungry?”

 

As if her stomach knew what had just said, a loud rumble came from Santana’s midsection. She looked down and let out a laugh “I think that is a yes.”

 

“I thought so” Rachel turned and reached for her phone on the table near the bed and started to dial the number for their favorite place. “What do you want?” She asked, putting the phone to her ear.

 

“I don’t care” Santana shook her head. “Is Quinn home?”

 

“She had an early morning test so she went straight home from Lima” Rachel said with a shrug. “She sends her love- Hello? Hi, Rob, it’s Rachel! Yeah, just the usual. Um..” She eyed Santana and smiled “Can you put extra cheese on the crust?” She laughed softly “It’s been a rough weekend.” She nodded her head against the phone “Thanks. See you soon.”

 

Santana just shook her head. It scared her how well Rachel knew her. 

 

“Alright” Rachel slid out of the bed once she hung up the phone. “Stay put” She pointed at the girl firmly then turned and ran from the room. A few minutes later she returned with paper plates, cups, and napkins. “We are having a bed date.”

 

“You know my bed dates usually involve me being naked, right?” Santana smirked and slid up to the head of the bed to sit next to Rachel now.

 

“Well feel free” Rachel motioned with an unphased smirk then reached for the remotes. She turned on Santana’s tv and dvd player with Netflix installed. She pulled it up and started scrolling through. “What do you feel like?”

 

“Are you sure you don’t need to be at the play?” Santana asked softly.

 

“I have until Wednesday” Rachel said with a shrug, still staring at the screen.

 

Santana nodded and turned her eyes to the tv. She hated how cool Rachel was being. She knew she was being nice to her so she would spill her guts to her. Well, she we being nice because she knew Santana was sad but also to hear what had happened. After a few moments of feeling guilty, she turned and looked at Rachel “I slept with Charlie.”

 

Rachel’s entire body froze. Her arm was still, holding the remote toward the tv. Her fingers paused. Her eyes stopped flickering as she read every title on the screen. She wasn’t sure she had heard correctly and if she had she definitely hadn’t expected to hear that. 

 

Santana stared at Rachel. She was starting to second guess whether she had actually said the words out loud. When Rachel gave no reaction, she reached out and poked her arm “Did you hear me or did I imagine myself talking?”

 

Rachel finally blinked and dropped her arm. She looked at Santana slowly. Her eyes were wide, her jaw slack. She gave her head a little shake “What?”

 

There was the reaction she had expected. Santana nodded and looked down at the sheets again “Yeah. I know.”

 

“What!?” Rachel said a little louder this time. 

 

“I know!” Santana said again.

 

“You...what!?”

 

“I know!”

 

Rachel finally blinked. She shook her head a few times quickly and turned to face Santana. She opened her mouth to say something then stopped. She thought about it a moment then opened again but stopped. She was speechless. She could easily say this was the biggest shock she had ever received in her life. 

 

Santana nodded. She let out a heavy sigh and shrugged.

 

Rachel shook her head. She took a deep breath then looked at Santana. Another attempt to speak failed her so she just shrugged too.

 

They stared at each other for a few minutes. Rachel was trying to think about what to say and Santana was sitting there not knowing how else to say it. They were at a stand still in the conversation. Thankfully a knock at the door broke the awkwardness. Rachel looked behind her and slipped out of bed “I’ll be back.”

 

“Do you want some money?”

 

“My treat” Rachel called and waved her off as she left the room. Santana could hear the pleasant exchange at the door, complete with a few laughs. Once the door was slid closed, a few foot steps were heard, and Rachel was ducking under the sheet that acted as a wall and back into Santana’s room. She held two boxes and a bottle of soda. She didn’t drink soda often, but this was a special case.

 

The awkward silence returned as pizza was dealt out and drinks poured. Once they had their meals, they settled back in place and stared at the tv. A few bites were taken and though Rachel hadn’t picked a show, they were both looking at the tv intently. 

 

Finally after an agonizingly long pause, Santana looked at Rachel and let out a sigh “I don’t know what got into me. She came out to check on me after I left the movie, you know? And...” She shook her head and shrugged “God, Rach, it just happened.”

 

“How does that just happen?” Rachel looked over to Santana while wiping her mouth with a napkin.

 

“I know it sounds like the biggest cop out answer of all time, but it’s the truth.”

 

“How!?” Rachel said a little louder than she had meant to. She didn’t want Santana to feel bad and she didn’t want to lecture her but she was having a hard time grasping it.

 

“It just happened. I was so upset at her, Rachel. I mean, kinda. I was actually kind of feeling like super lonely being around you and Dana and Britt. That’s why I left.” Santana shrugged. When Rachel frowned, Santana gave her a smile “It’s okay. I should be used to it. But with Charlie being there and the talk we had, I don’t know, my emotions were on edge and it just got to me so I had to leave.”

 

“I’m sorry” Rachel whispered softly. “I should have suspected that being in that intense situation then turning around to be around couples would have had an exaggerated effect on you.”

 

“It’s fine” Santana let out a soft laugh. She offered her a smile and when Rachel seemed to accept her words, she nodded. “It just got to me in the moment. So I left. I crawled onto the roof because, well, I didn’t think anyone would look there. Charlie, apparently, still knows me too well.” She looked down at her plate and shrugged a little “She was sweet when she came to check on me. We got to talking and, I don’t know, I told her I wasn’t over her.”

 

Rachel let out a sigh. She had always suspected Santana hadn’t fully gotten over Charlie but she had never wanted to ask. 

 

“She blamed herself when really it was me. I wasn’t ready to let her go. I don’t know, Rach” Santana looked up at her friend and gave her head a slow shake “I just lost my senses. She was there and it felt like maybe in that moment I could finally have some sort of closure, you know? If maybe we had one last time?”

 

“That’s awful” Rachel whispered “That is like three steps backwards.”

 

“No shit” Santana groaned. She pulled apart the crust of her pizza and tossed it back to the plate. “I should have stopped when we kissed but I couldn’t. It was like my body was in control of itself. For a few minutes, my mind shut off and just let what would be, be. And what happened to be was Charlie and I ripping each others clothes off.”

 

“On the roof?”

 

Santana nodded and shrugged one shoulder.

 

“That’s kinda hot” Rachel admitted with a smirk.

 

“Right?” Santana said with a laugh. The two friends shared a smile then Santana sighed. “Anyway. We were mid, um...” She moved her hand in a circle, indicating Rachel to fill in her own blank then shrugged again “and it hit me. I was trying to revenge fuck her. It hadn’t been a conscience thought, but that is what my intention had been.”

 

Rachel frowned. She couldn’t say she could blame Santana’s subconscious even if it wasn’t the right thing to do.

 

“And as soon as I realized that I looked down at her and...” Santana closed her eyes and swallowed hard. She was so disgusted with herself for her actions. But she knew if anyone in her life wouldn’t judge her, it would be Rachel. So she took a breath, opened her eyes, and pushed on “I saw her again, you know? I saw every little thing about her that I loved. I was inside her” She whispered the words, almost unable to say them “and I knew I still loved her. After that I just couldn’t. So I ran.”

 

“You ran?” Rachel’s voice was so soft it was nearly inaudible.

 

Santana nodded. 

 

Rachel took in a deep breath then looked down at her plate. She couldn’t imagine what Santana must be feeling. She hadn’t experienced anything like this. She wanted to cry for her friend but she wouldn’t. She needed to be strong.

 

Santana drew in a deep breath and let it out in a painfully slow sigh. “I hate myself so much. I can’t believe I let it go there.”

 

“It’s okay” Rachel whispered, leaning over to take Santana’s hand now. She gave it a tight squeeze then lifted it to her mouth and kissed her knuckles. “You are healing, Santana. We all heal in different ways.”

 

“It’s not okay” Santana shook her head. “I messed up. I don’t think I can ever speak to her again out of sheer embarrassment. I don’t think we should be friends. I don’t think I am mature enough to handle it. I mean she showed me an ounce of kindness and I jumped her bones. Who does that!?”

 

“Lots of people do” Rachel said with a shrug. “I know you are still hurt and I know you think this is something you can’t get over, but you can. You just need to forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for doing that. Forgive yourself for never letting her go. Forgive yourself for still loving her despite everything in the world telling you that you shouldn’t.”

 

“But how?” Santana choked out over tears that had formed in her eyes.

 

“Give yourself time. Process. Let yourself feel everything, good and bad. Eventually you will start making sense of it all and start figuring out what you need to move on and before you realize it, you will have moved on.”

 

Santana shrugged. She wasn’t sure that would work but what other choice did she have? Nothing else had worked. So she would try it. Maybe Rachel was right. Maybe one day she could start to move on if she finally let herself feel everything she had been fighting for years.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	6. Friend is the worst six letter word

_ Eight months later... _

 

It was early in Santana’s second year of medical school and after a bit of a rough summer she was finally feeling good again. She had taken Rachel’s advice and focused on everything she had been feeling, good and bad, and really dealt with it all. She had been completely honest with herself about her pain and gotten to a point where she not only dealt with it face to face, so to speak, but also managed to let it go and move forward. Things were really looking up for her.

 

It was a crisp cool day in New York as Santana strolled down her usual path to school. She was enjoying the fact that it hadn’t snowed yet but she could smell it coming in the air. As she moved along the street she noticed the crowd was getting thicker the closer to her school she got and she wondered what was causing such traffic in the area. Usually this early the hustle and bustle of New York streets was at a minimum.

 

Only about a block and a half away from campus she ran right into the problem. Barricades blocked off the entire street and someone was directing traffic around them. Santana groaned to herself when she got close enough to realize there was some sort of shoot going on. Probably a movie. She was pretty sure she had her daily routine interrupted by movie filmings around town more than anyone who had ever lived in L.A.

 

“Hey” Santana called to one of the security members nearby when she reached one of the barricades. When the man turned, she gave him a sweet smile, turned on her Lopez charm, and motioned for him to come over to her. He was hesitant at first, but with a few bats of her long eye lashes he gave in and walked over to her. 

 

“Hi” Santana said sweetly, her eyes looking over the burly guy. She saw a name tag and knew she was in “Gus? I love that name. Anyway, hi, how are you? Look, I know there is some major something going on right now but, you see that building just there?” She pointed behind him to a big brown building just a block or so away. When he looked and nodded, she put a hand on his shoulder and slowly ran it down his arm. “My first class is in that building and I am running a little late this morning. So if you could just like, let me sneak through, that would be a big help.”

 

“I’m sorry, ma’am” Gus mumbled with a shake of his head. “I can’t do that. This is a closed shoot. No unauthorized persons are allowed to cross the barricades.”

 

“I get that” Santana said with her sweet smile still in place. “But I’m going to school to be a pediatrician. Do you know what that means? I am going to save little kids’ lives. If I am late for class I get points taken off my grade and if I don’t get good grades I can’t graduate and then I can’t become a doctor. Now wouldn’t you feel bad depriving the world of an amazing doctor just for one little set of rules? All you have to do is sneak me through. I will even run.”

 

“I’m sorry but I can’t do that. If you follow the detour-”

 

Santana huffed in frustration and dropped her nice girl act “Look dude, that detour will take me three times as long to get to class. Seriously, I don’t fucking care what’s going on here, I just want to get to my class on time.”

 

“I can’t-”

 

“Then who can?” Santana cut him off and folded her arms. She was scowling at him now, trying to use force since the sweet girl routine didn’t work.

 

“No one-”

 

“Someone can” Santana barked back. “Who is in charge here?”

 

The guy looked over his shoulder and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

 

“Don’t lie to me, dude. Just go find your boss, you know the one who pays you, and send them to me. Obviously you are still in that point in life where you are afraid to get grounded, so go find me mommy or daddy and let the adults have a chat, okay?”

 

Gus frowned and got on his radio. “Can I have the director over here, please? There is an unruly civilian who won’t leave.”

 

“Unruly” Santana huffed and rolled her eyes. She would show him unruly.

 

Gus turned away from her and walked a few feet away from the barricade. He stood there waiting and when the director finally approached, he had a few words before pointing over his shoulder. When he stepped out of the way, Santana’s heart plummeted to her feet. There was no way this was happening.

 

“Well, well, well” Charlie slowly approached the barricade where Santana stood, a smile on her lips. She held a large camera in one hand as the other was perched on her hip. “Do my eyes deceive me?”

 

“Ch-Charlie?” Santana blinked, all her hardness gone. How was it that she had just been trying to barge through Charlie’s photoshoot, of all people?

 

“Hey, San” Charlie said softly. Her eyes were looking at her gently, almost as if she looked too hard she might disappear from in front of her.

 

“Charlie, look” Santana shook her head “I’m sorry, I had no idea this was your shoot. I just need to get to class.” She motioned to the brown building down the block again and sighed. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

 

“You’re going to class?” Charlie asked with a smile. She looked over her shoulder, then to Gus, then back to Santana before nodding. “Okay, let her through.”

 

“What?” Gus was surprised to hear that. Charlie hated when people who weren’t working on her set interrupted her work.

 

“She’s an old friend, Gus” Charlie said with a smile, her eyes on Santana still. “She has class, which is important, so I am telling you to let her through.”

 

“Charlie it’s fine” Santana said softly “I can go around.”

 

“Nonsense” Charlie waved her off then motioned for Gus to move the barricade to let her through. She watched the big man slid the wood frame in enough to allow Santana to slide between it then put it back in place. She looked Santana over once then nodded toward the building “Go on then. Get to class.”

 

Santana opened her mouth to say something but stopped. She was going to be late. “Hey, thanks.”

 

“No big deal” Charlie said with a nod. She motioned to Gus to go ahead and escort Santana through the set. She watched them take a few steps before Charlie stopped them “Oh, hey.”

 

“Yeah?” Santana turned around quickly, her eyes looking over the girl slowly before finally meeting her gaze.

 

“You owe me one, alright?”

 

Santana smiled softly “Am I going to regret this?”

 

Charlie shrugged and gave her a little smirk “I haven’t decided yet.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and turned to continue her trek toward school. She couldn’t believe she had just run into Charlie. That must mean she was in town for work. She wondered how long she had been there. She wondered what kind of favor Charlie would have her do to pay her debt. She wondered how she was going to focus on her classes now that all she could think about was Charlie. It had been completely unexpected but to Santana’s surprise it hadn’t hurt. Maybe she really had handled all of her pain in the past because for the first time in years she was actually looking forward to seeing Charlie again one day.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana had only taken in half of what the professor had lectured on that day. She had been a bit distracted by her unexpected encounter with Charlie that morning. It wasn’t a bad distraction, though. For the first time in a long time, thinking about Charlie had brought pleasure and not pain. She knew they had a lot to talk about, but she had done so much self-healing that what needed to be discussed was not something she lived in fear of but rather faced as if it was a responsibility.

 

Santana packed her notebooks into her bag and headed out of the classroom toward her next stop. She had gotten lucky enough to get a schedule where all of her classes weren’t jammed back to back so she had plenty of time to get from one end of campus to the other without having to worry about being late every day. The perks of having Rachel Berry as a roommate. She was more organized than most people.

 

Santana was busy zipping her pens into the pocket of her bag as she exited the room. She had perfected walking and stuffing shit in her bag the first year of high school and it was a skill that came in handy every day of her life. So when someone came up to her and asked which direction the food court was, Santana didn’t even look up. “Take a left out of the front doors and head for the patch of trees. You can’t miss it.”

 

“Can you show me?”

 

Santana let out a sigh as she finally got her zipper closed and slung her bag over her shoulder. Her eyes lifted to the lost student and she blinked once before letting out a laugh “What are you doing?”

 

“I was going to get some food but I had no idea where it was on this campus so I thought I’d ask you. You looked friendly enough.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes “Don’t you have catering or craft services or something on your fancy set?”

 

Charlie smirked and lifted both of her shoulders in a slow shrug “I’ve always been a fan of food being heated when I order it instead of sitting in a chafing pan all day.”

 

Santana shook her head in amusement at that. It was true. Charlie hated mildly warm food and leftovers. It drove Santana nuts. 

 

“Come on” Charlie blinked at her softly and motioned her head toward the front doors. “Won’t you show me where I can get some food around here?”

 

“I don’t really have time” Santana said softly.

 

“You owe me” Charlie smirked.

 

“Really?” Santana let out a soft laugh. “You are cashing in already?”

 

Charlie just shrugged. “Considering I saved your medical career, I think it’s the least you could do for me.”

 

Santana looked around the hallway then back to Charlie. She pulled out her phone, glanced at the time, then let out a sigh. “I have an hour before my next class. How about coffee?”

 

“Perfect” Charlie nodded then turned toward the doors. She lifted her hand in a motion for Santana to lead the way then fell in step beside her.

 

There was a coffee shop near the building where Santana’s next class was held so they settled there. Once their coffee was ordered and they found a table to relax at, they had both gotten comfortable and went to work sipping the drinks. Charlie smiled over the rim of her cup with each sip she took. She hadn’t really looked away from Santana the entire time.

 

Santana noticed and after a few minutes, she put down her coffee and rolled her eyes “What are you looking at?”

 

“Nothing” Charlie shrugged and put down her coffee as well. “I just...can’t believe I ran into you.”

 

“I live here, it’s not that strange. What’s strange is that you’re here, in New York, obviously working, and I didn’t hear anything about it.”

 

“We haven’t talked” Charlie said with another shrug.

 

“I know” Santana nodded and looked at her cup. “But Rachel has been good at keeping me updated.”

 

“She has such a big mouth” Charlie whispered and let out a laugh. She smiled up at Santana and grabbed for her cup again. “She doesn’t know. I didn’t want to get her hopes up but if this project goes well I might be offered a permanent position here in New York. I was going to surprise her with the news once I knew for sure.”

 

“Really?” Santana smiled widely at that. “Wow that is awesome Charlie. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted?”

 

Charlie smiled and gave her head a little nod “Well it would be mostly fashion at first, which isn’t ideal, but their location photographer is close to retirement so if I get in now, I will be top of the list when he finally leaves.”

 

Santana shook her head slowly in amazement. “I am so happy for you.”

 

“Don’t congratulate me yet. I still have to nail this shoot.”

 

“Speaking of” Santana glanced out the window for a moment. “Why aren’t you there now?”

 

“I called a lunch” Charlie said with a shrug. “Good thing about being the director. I kind of get to call the shots.”

 

“So you called a lunch to come stalk me at school?” Santana asked with a teasing smirk.

 

“Pretty much” Charlie nodded with a laugh.

 

Santana let out a laugh too and nodded before taking another sip of her coffee. She stared at Charlie a moment and her heart fluttered. She couldn’t believe they were sitting across from each other, drinking coffee, teasing and laughing, and her heart wasn’t hurting. Rachel had been right. Taking some time for herself had been exactly what she had needed to really get over it.

 

Charlie saw Santana looking at her and after a few moments she whispered softly “What?”

 

“Nothing” Santana shook her head and blinked. She let out a little laugh and lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s just so random, don’t you think? Running into each other like this?”

 

“Yeah” Charlie nodded a bit. “New York is a big place. I didn’t think I’d be running into you my first day here. I thought it would take a week at least.”

 

Santana smiled softly at that. Her first day in town and somehow they had managed to find each other. She was pretty sure there was some sort of deep meaning behind it. With all of her self-discovery and self-healing she had gone through she had been reading up on things outside her control. One book in particular had talked about the powers of the universe and how no matter how hard one tried they would never be able to control things like fate, karma, and destiny. She believed you made your own path in life but she always believed that path lead to the place you were meant to be. How you got there was all up to you.

 

Charlie’s phone ran suddenly, breaking Santana’s train of thought, and startling them both. “Shit” Charlie mumbled and dug it out of her pocket. She looked at the screen and frowned “I am sorry, I have to take this.”

 

“Go ahead” Santana offered a smile and watched Charlie slide out of her seat to answer the phone. She propped her head onto her hand and just looked at Charlie’s every movement as she spoke on the phone. She wondered if maybe everything that had happened between them had been on purpose. Had the events they had shared together lead to Charlie finally getting a chance at her dream job? She was almost sure the events had lead to her own success. Had she been distracted by Charlie through her last year of college she probably would have been planning their lives together and not focusing on her grades. She was sure she wouldn’t have gotten accepted to medical school. And had Santana been distracted after the wedding she wouldn’t have managed the Dean’s list her first year of medical school. It had taken her a long time to come to terms with it but she was now more sure than ever that everything had happened for a very specific reason.

 

“Sorry” Charlie came back to the table with a sigh. “They need me back on set. Something about the backdrops?” She waved her hand to the side and reached for her coffee. She frowned down at Santana “I really hate to cut this short.”

 

“Duty calls” Santana smiled and gave her had a little wave. “Go. I have class in a bit anyway.”

 

“Can we do this again?” Charlie asked softly. “Maybe lunch next time?”

 

Santana gave her a little nod “I think I’d like that.”

 

“We’ll talk?” Charlie asked, taking a step backwards toward the door.

 

“Yeah” Santana nodded quickly. “We will definitely talk.”

 

“Cool” Charlie gave her a bit of a dreamy smile then turned toward the door. She pushed it open then stopped and looked back at Santana. She gave her a last wave “Have fun learning how to save lives.” She let out a laugh then disappeared out of the door.

 

Santana let out a laugh too and just shook her head in amusement. She sipped her coffee and her eyes fell to the window. She watched the wind blow the trees lightly and she felt at peace. Maybe this would be good for them. Just as she thought that, Santana noticed the first few flakes of snow falling from the sky. A smile came to her lips and she knew now this would definitely be good for them.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana sat on the couch, legs crossed in front of her, smile on her lips, and her phone in her hands. It was after dinner and Rachel had demanded they watched a movie since she had been too busy to hang out lately. Santana had obliged because, well, she was in a good mood for once and because arguing with her roommate was a waste of energy. So as Rachel gathered the popcorn and drinks, Santana got comfy on the couch.

 

“What do you want to watch?” Rachel called across the kitchen to where Santana sat on the couch.

 

“Whatever” Santana mumbled, her eyes glued to the screen of her phone. She let out a soft laugh to herself as she typed away.

 

Rachel perked an eyebrow at that. Santana always had an opinion. She glanced over and saw her friend completely enthralled in her phone and wondered what had her so preoccupied. “Newsies?” She offered up as a suggestion timidly knowing that Santana hated that movie.

 

“Sure” Santana glanced at Rachel with a nod then looked back at her phone.

 

“Okay” Rachel laughed and walked over to her friend now, handing her the popcorn “What has you so distracted? You just agreed to watch Newsies without a single argument.”

 

“Nothing” Santana shrugged and took the popcorn from her. “I picked the movie last time so it’s your turn.”

 

“Bull” Rachel set down the waters then plopped onto the couch next to her. “You have never agreed to our taking turns picking movies without giving me at least a little bit of a hassle on my turn. What is up with you!?”

 

“Nothing” Santana rolled her eyes. Her phone went off and she quickly opened her message. She read it and a little smile came to her lips.

 

Rachel nodded slowly as she watched her friend. She knew why Santana was in a good mood. Whoever she was texting was probably flirting with her. “So who is it?”

 

“Who is what?” Santana glanced up at Rachel.

 

“Don’t play dumb! Who is the girl that has you smiling over your texts?”

 

Santana shrugged and put her phone between her legs “No one.”

 

“You are an awful liar” Rachel rolled her eyes. “Where did you meet her? Is she cute?”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and tried to fight a smile but it took over her lips anyway “None of your business.”

 

“Come on!” Rachel laughed softly “You haven’t so much as batted your eyes at a girl in years and now all the sudden there is one texting you and make you smile like a goober? Give me the details!” She pushed her bottom lip out into a pout. She was trying her best to use the puppy dog look to get what she wanted.

 

Santana smiled and shook her head. Her phone went off again and she pulled it out from between her legs to read the message. She bit at her lip and giggled before replying then looking up at Rachel who was doing her best pouty face. “Oh my god” Santana rolled her eyes and lifted a pillow to bat at Rachel’s face. “Stop it!”

 

“Santana, please?” Rachel whined sweetly “I just wanna know who has you smiling like that. I haven’t seen that smile in ages!”

 

Santana looked at her phone and sighed. She suddenly felt guilty that Rachel didn’t know. Charlie had been her best friend for so long, after all. She looked back at Rachel now and bit her lip a little nervously “Don’t be mad...”

 

“Mad?” Rachel blinked and her pouty face fell. “Why would I be mad? Wait, is it Quinn? Are you flirting with my girlfriend?”

 

“What? No” Santana rolled her eyes. “Wait, you think I’d do that to you?”

 

“No” Rachel shook her head. “But what else would make me mad?”

 

“Charlie’s in town” Santana blurted out then held up her hand to Rachel “Wait, hold up. Quinn? Really?”

 

“No” Rachel said again more firmly “Sorry, that’s just where my mind goes. And, wait, Charlie is in town?”

 

“Rachel I would never do that to you. Besides, Quinn and I...” Santana shook her head “That’s gross.”

 

“It’s not gross, Quinn is hot” Rachel huffed and folded her arms.

 

Santana just gave an uninterested shrug.

 

“Rude” Rachel took a pillow and hit Santana with it now. “And, wait, you just dropped the bomb about Charlie like it was nothing! When did she get into town? What is she doing here? Did she come here to see you?”

 

“Woah, woah” Santana stopped Rachel, seeing her turn red in the face from asking so many questions in one breath. “No I didn’t know she was here. I ran into her on my way to class this morning. Apparently she is in town working on a really huge project that could help her potentially land her dream job.”

 

“And how do you know this?”

 

  
”We had coffee” Santana said as nonchalantly as possible.

 

“You had coffee??” Rachel sat up a little straighter, the surprise on her face evident. “How did that go?”

 

“Good” Santana shrugged. She didn’t want to make a big deal out of this. “Look she didn’t want to tell you that she was in town because she didn’t want to get your hopes up that she might be living here soon. So pretend you don’t know.”

 

“I will do no such thing” Rachel huffed then smiled and nudged Santana. “I am a little more distracted by the fact you two talked. No tears? Any yelling?”

 

“No” Santana sighed and let out a little laugh. “It was fine. I didn’t really have a lot of time between classes. We had a nice little chat and then she had to run back to work. But I think we’re going to get together again for lunch.”

 

“When?” Rachel was completely enthralled now.

 

“I don’t know, probably some time this week in case she leaves again.”

 

“And?” Rachel shrugged. 

 

“And what?” Santana was getting a little irritated now. She didn’t know the answers to the questions Rachel was asking. She barely knew how their running into each other hadn’t ended in a blood bath.

 

“Come on, San” Rachel pouted again. “How are you feeling about this? I mean, were things awkward or what?”

 

“They were fine” Santana shrugged her off and reached for her drink. “I mean, like I said, it was short lived. But we didn’t bring up anything-”

 

“You leaving her mid-coitus” Rachel filled in the blank Santana didn’t want to.

 

“Yes” Santana hissed in annoyance. God she hated how forward Berry could be sometimes. “But I think we are going to talk about that when we have lunch.”

 

Rachel nodded a little at that. This was definitely a surprise. She would have to talk to Charlie while she was in town. The last thing she wanted was for her intentions to be bad and send Santana spiraling back into the depression she had climbed out of all by herself. She would have to tell Quinn, too. She knew she would flip. 

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Santana’s phone going off again. She smiled and pointed to it “You still didn’t answer me about who you were texting.”

 

“Charlie” Santana said with a roll of her eyes. “We’ve been talking all day.” When Rachel opened her mouth to ask, Santana cut her off “Not talking, talking. Just chatting. Catching up, really.”

 

Rachel nodded a bit and reached for her water. She took a sip while she watched Santana. She hadn’t seen her friend smile like that in too long. She just hoped it wasn’t a false sense of whatever good feeling she was feeling to make her smile like that. “But you will talk?”

 

“God! Yes!” Santana growled and set down her phone. “We are going to talk!”

 

“Okay” Rachel frowned, looking down at her hands. “I just want to make sure you aren’t going to start suppressing things again.”

 

“I won’t” Santana said softly, seeing she had hurt her friend’s feelings. “I’m passed that point in my life. I face things head on now. You don’t have to worry. Charlie and I will work everything out. I’m not going to let myself store away emotions and turn angry and bitter again, I promise.”

 

“Okay” Rachel said with a soft smile. “As long as you’re sure.”

 

“I am” Santana returned the smile. “Thanks for caring, though. You know I couldn’t have done this without you.”

 

“You’re welcome, San.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana sat at the table of the little bistro that herself and Charlie had agreed on. It was Saturday and the snow had fallen thick overnight so there wasn’t much of a crowd. That was good, she thought. She didn’t want an audience in case things didn’t go well. Ugh, stupid Rachel! Why did she have to put unsure thoughts into her head? Things would be just fine.

 

The door opened and a cold gust of wind came in with a few people who had ventured out for lunch. Santana turned her head and waited until the group thinned. When she didn’t see Charlie she frowned. She really hoped she hadn’t gotten lost, or worse, into some sort of accident. The roads were really slick.

 

She had just picked up her phone to text her when the door opened again. She perked up and when she saw the unmistakable blonde curls blowing loosely from under a beanie, she smiled. Good. Charlie was okay. She lifted her hand and gave her a little wave until Charlie spotted her and moved over to take her seat across from her.

 

“Man it’s cold” Charlie said with a laugh as she sat down and started to untangle her scarf from around her neck. “Have you been here long? I took the wrong train at first, that’s why I’m late.”

 

“It’s fine” Santana smiled softly. “I just sat down not too long ago.”

 

“Cool” Charlie offered Santana a sweet smile before picking up her menu. She opened it to look at the options but her eyes were still on Santana. She looked amazing.

 

“What?” Santana asked softly, looking down at herself. “Did I spill my tea?”

 

“No” Charlie just shook her head, still smiling that goofy smile. “No. I was just thinking how beautiful you looked.”

 

Santana had to look away. She bit at her lip and fought a blush from creeping over her cheeks. Charlie had a way of making her feel like the most important person in the world. “Thanks” She managed to whisper.

 

Their server interrupted and asked if Charlie wanted something to drink. After getting down her tea order she disappeared again. Santana had taken the break to look at her menu, a happy excuse to not look at Charlie right now. It seemed Charlie had the same idea and both girls were quietly studying the choices on the menu.

 

Once the drink was returned and orders taken, the girls were left to their own devices. Santana’s hands were wrapped tightly around the cup, letting the warm contents heat her cold fingers. Her eyes had been staring into the pale caramel colored liquid in her cup as if it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. In reality, she was trying not to look at Charlie.

 

“So” Charlie broke the silence. She had been watching Santana watch her tea and she knew she was avoiding eye contact. “This isn’t awkward at all.”

 

Santana couldn’t help but laugh. She blinked and looked up at Charlie now and offered an apologetic look “I’m sorry. I guess I was so in shock about seeing you the other day that I didn’t have time to realize just how incredibly weird it was. Now that it has soaked in and I’ve thought about it a few days, I don’t really know what to say.”

 

“How about you say...” Charlie tapped at her chin in an overly dramatic thinking motion than offered a smirk “What’s up, Chuck?”

 

Santana smiled and gave her head a nod “I suppose that would work. But now you’ve said it so it sounds unoriginal and we are back at square one.”

 

“How about hello?” Charlie said softly. “This doesn’t have to be another painful delving into everything we’ve ever done wrong. It can be a friendly lunch.”

 

“I know” Santana whispered and looked back at her tea. “But we need to talk and I am kind of afraid that will lead to the painful delving.”

 

“Well” Charlie folded her arms onto the table and gave a very genuine smile “Would it help if I told you I’m not mad?”

 

Santana looked up and the surprise on her face was evident. She was sure Charlie would hate her. “How?”

 

Charlie just shrugged gently “That entire weekend was so messed up for us. There were emotions and pain and feelings that neither of us had dared touch in years. Did you really think we would escape it unscathed?”

 

“No” Santana huffed a laugh into her tea before sipping it.

 

“And we didn’t. But I understand why, completely. We never dealt with each other.”

 

“Yeah” Santana nodded and set down her cup. “I mean, shit, I hadn’t even really dealt with myself. Throw you into that mix and it was a recipe for disaster.”

 

“And that’s fine” Charlie said softly. “I mean, it sucked at the time, but it also opened my eyes to a lot. I knew I’d fucked up, obviously. I knew I had to talk to you, to explain myself, which I got a chance to do. But to think that would make everything alright? That was naive on my part. First step to solving a problem is understanding it. Then the hard work begins.”

 

Santana nodded slowly. It was as if Charlie knew exactly what she had gone through herself. She had to face the demon down before she could begin to understand how to defeat it. To hear that Charlie had been struggling too, well that made her feel less crazy. She had definitely thought she was going to go insane the first few weeks after returning from Lima. But that was all part of the figuring it out process.

 

“I read a book about everything. Coping with loss, dealing with emotions you didn’t know how to deal with, and understanding humans and how we process. It was amazing. Really opened my eyes.”

 

“I read something like that too” Santana said with a smile.

 

“Rachel sent it to me” Charlie said with a shrug. “Said she saw it, thought it might help.”

 

“Are you kidding me?” Santana’s face fell and her eyes narrowed. “That little shit.”

 

“What?” Charlie asked curiously.

 

“She gave me the exact same book. Told me the exact same thing.” It all made sense now. Rachel had been trying to help Santana get over it, yes, but she was secretly hoping that both of them could heal and come together again. She couldn’t believe she had been tricked! She should have expected it. Rachel was a troll, after all.

 

“Don’t be too mad at her” Charlie said calmly. “She just loves you. I think the thought of having to go through a few more years of the two of us avoiding each other was too much for her to handle. She loves this little family we have, you know? The sisters and you girls who have all been around since high school. She never had siblings. I think, for her, it was like her family was torn apart and she just wanted to help keep the peace.”

 

“Yeah, yeah” Santana nodded. She was right. Rachel cared about the group of girls far too much to let them be torn apart again. She couldn’t blame her but she was still a little annoyed. Rachel was so damn sneaky sometimes.

 

“So” Charlie offered a segway from Rachel to what was really important. “I think we should talk.”

 

Santana nodded and looked down at her hands around her tea mug again. She took in a deep breath then looked back up to Charlie slowly and shrugged “Would it be completely cliche if I said I was sorry?”

 

“No” Charlie smiled softly. “How many times have I told you that I’m sorry? Sometimes that is all you can say. Sorry is a simple word but it means so much.”

 

Santana gave a little nod of her head at that. Sometimes sorry was the easiest thing to thing to say but the hardest to actually vocalize. “Well then, I am. I am sorry, Charlie. I don’t really know what came over me.”

 

“I know” Charlie whispered softly. “I felt it too. I mean, whatever it was that caused you to just, I don’t know, go crazy I guess? I felt it.”

 

“Yeah?” Santana perked up a little bit.

 

Charlie nodded gently. “Definitely.”

 

“It was weird” Santana sighed softly “One moment I was so hurt and just venting and the next I was-”

 

“Lost in a sea of unanswered emotions?” Charlie offered.

 

Santana nodded slowly as a smile spread to her lips “Yeah. It was like my brain stopped working and my body or my heart, maybe, took over.”

 

“I know” Charlie nodded.

 

“And then there was a moment when I looked down at you and I understood I wasn’t doing it to feel good about myself. I was doing it to spite you.” Santana looked away from Charlie at her confession. She hated what she had done and didn’t want to see Charlie’s reaction to that.

 

“I know” was all Charlie said back.

 

“You knew?” Santana asked softly.

 

“I saw it in your eyes.”

 

Santana’s face twisted into a pained frown. God she had spent months hoping Charlie hadn’t noticed.

 

“It’s okay” Charlie reached across the table and took her hand gently. “I don’t blame you. The pain I had caused you was immeasurable. You wanting to make me feel just a little bit of it made sense. Whether you meant it or not, I think it’s kinda of human nature.”

 

Santana let out a sigh and slid her thumb gently over Charlie’s fingers where their hands were tangled together gently. “I still never meant it.”

 

“It’s okay” Charlie smiled gently. “It upset me at the time but now, I get it.” She gave Santana’s hand a squeeze and nodded gently. “Move past that. Why did you stop?”

 

Santana let go of her hand slowly and took hold of her tea cup again. She gave a heavy sigh and slowly brought her eyes to look at Charlie. She just shook her head a little “I...” She licked at her lips and looked down again “Something changed and it wasn’t out of spite anymore. I looked down on you and I felt you and I just...”

 

“I know” Charlie whispered but there was a tremble in her voice.

 

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat. She slowly brought her eyes up and when she looked at Charlie she was already staring at her. It was like she was staring right into Santana’s soul. A shiver danced up her spine and she bit at her lip softly “You know?”

 

Charlie nodded quickly and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment before offering a weak smile “Yeah. I felt it too.”

 

Santana nodded and looked down again. A soft smile came to her lips and she pulled in a deep breath before looking up again. She let out the breath quickly and shook her head “It scared me. That’s why I left. I shouldn’t have been feeling that, not after everything, but I did. So I had to just...leave. I couldn’t deal with it.”

 

Charlie sighed and the corner of her lips twitched into a smile. “I know. But I gotta know now. Have you dealt with it?”

 

Santana drew in a shaky breath. She had been working so hard to move past everything that had happened. The pain of Charlie cheating on her, the guilt over what she had done on the roof, and how she had closed herself off from everyone and everything. But the one thing she had not been able to get over was that feeling. That was probably because she felt like she would probably always love Charlie. But she was sure she had moved past that enough to move on. She felt like for the first time since Sophomore year of high school she could look at someone besides Charlie. 

 

Realizing she had been silent a little too long, Santana finally just nodded her head. “Yeah” She whispered with an unconvincing smile. “Yeah, I think so.”

 

That wasn’t the answer that Charlie had been wanting to hear, if she was being honest. She had hoped that Santana couldn’t even think about being with someone else. Charlie hadn’t thought about anyone but Santana. She hadn’t looked at anyone because of Santana. She had wanted nothing but to do whatever she could to get back into Santana’s life. No one made her feel the way she did. No one had ever made her feel like that. Since she was hitting on her in Sophomore year, Charlie knew Santana was her only one. But hearing that Santana had let her go now? It hurt. 

 

“I’m sorry” Santana cleared her throat. Her throat had gone dry watching the way Charlie so obviously tried to pretend that her words had not hurt. The last thing Santana wanted to do was hurt her but she was sure if she kept going down this road she would only live in misery. At least that’s what she tried to convince herself of.

 

“It’s okay” Charlie whispered. She was so glad when the food finally came. She put on a smile and was polite to the server. Once they were alone and their food was steaming in front of them, Charlie lifted her fork and poked at her plate. She was suddenly not very hungry. She used her food as an excuse not to have to look at Santana while she tried to figure out what to say now.

 

Santana let out a heavy sigh and poked at her own plate. She felt bad. She wanted so badly to not have to feel like this. But it seemed that it was unavoidable. When it came to Charlie, they couldn’t avoid this. There was still so much left unsaid or undone and it was obvious now that they both knew that. But Santana didn’t want to hurt again. She was so afraid Charlie would hurt her again. But how did you tell someone that?

 

“Do you think” Santana finally broke the silence and looked up from her plate. She waited for Charlie to look up to her and when she didn’t, she frowned, but continued her thought. “Do you think that maybe we can just be friends? You know, hang out, talk, just go back to what was good about us before anything else happened?”

 

Charlie nodded a bit but still didn’t look up. She just lifted her shoulders into a slight shrug “I guess.”

 

Santana’s face fell even more into a frown and her eyes dropped away again. She hated this. There was no easy answer. “Look, I miss you. I miss laughing and joking around with you. I miss you understanding what I’m talking about. I miss you being able to calm me down when someone pisses me off and I miss the way you pull apart your popcorn before eating it. It’s stupid, I know, but I miss the little things. But I can’t, Charlie. I can’t even think about you as more than a friend again, not right now. Because, if I am being honest, I am one hundred percent sure that you will hurt me again.”

 

Charlie sniffled and tried not to cry into her plate. Hearing the truth hurt more than all the paranoid speculation she had put herself through. She was sure Santana didn’t trust her but actually hearing it put into words? It was like a dagger to her heart.

 

“Look, I will always love you. That can’t ever change. You changed my life in so many positive ways. I wouldn’t be who I am now if it weren’t for you. But..” Santana sighed and reached across the table to try to take Charlie’s hand but Charlie pulled it away. She frowned gently and pulled her hand away. “I’m sorry. But it’s too much. Did you really think you could just come in and sweep me off my feet and everything would be alright?”

 

“No” Charlie finally broke her silence and looked up. “I mean, no, I don’t think so. I don’t know, Santana. I wasn’t really planning anything. I knew that if I moved to New York there was a good chance I would be running into you. I didn’t think it would be so quick. I thought I would have time.”

 

“Time for what, Charlie?” Santana shrugged, shaking her head in confusion.

 

“Time to deal with how I feel about you. Time to figure out what I wanted. Then there you were, crashing my fucking photo shoot with that damn attitude that you always carry with you, and I knew I was in over my head.” Charlie shook her head and put her fork down with a loud clank. 

 

“Charlie” Santana shook her head with a soft sigh “I’m sorry.”

 

“I know” Charlie said with a roll of her eyes. “And so am I,Santana. I’m sorry I continue to torture you. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She slid out of her seat and gathered up her scarf.

 

“Wait” Santana reached for Charlie’s arm “You aren’t torturing me. I want you in my life. I want us to be friends.”

 

“Good luck with that” Charlie said with a shake of her head as her arm pulled away from Santana. “I can’t promise to be very friendly.”

 

“Please” Santana stood up now and reached for her again “Let’s just try.”

 

Charlie just gave her head a shake. She pulled out some money and tossed it on the table then turned to storm out of the building before Santana could stop her. It was just easier to run away than deal with this. Because maybe Santana had dealt with how she felt, but Charlie hadn’t. Apparently she had a lot of self work to do still.

 

Santana just watched Charlie go. She hadn’t been expecting the lunch to go like this. Now she was left wondering what to do next. She wasn’t sure there was anything she could do. Her and Charlie were just on two different pages at the moment.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	7. Seven hours of agony

“Where is she?” Santana stormed through the doors and looked every which way trying to find someone who looked like they knew. When her eyes landed on someone who looked important she rushed over and grabbed their arm “Hey you, where can I get information about my friend?”

 

“Santana!” Rachel’s voice was heard in the distance and Santana turned in the direction it came from. She saw her friend rushing over to her with the tell tale signs that she had been crying. Her face was red, her eyes puffy, and her nose sore from tissues. Santana let the stranger she had manhandled go and rushed over to meet her.

 

“I’m so glad you’re here” Rachel whispered as the two girls embraced in the middle of the hallway. They held her other for a few long moments, Rachel squeezing tightly to her friend, not wanting to let her go.

 

“What happened?” Santana asked just as softly as she allowed Rachel to hold her. She must have been so terrified by herself so she understood why she was clinging to her now.

 

“I’m not sure” Rachel shook her head and slowly started to release her grip. When she pulled back from the hug, her eyes lifted to meet Santana’s, and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying again. “All they said was she was in an accident and it was critical.”

 

Santana felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach. Her entire body went cold. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. That was such a general thing to say when you didn’t know the extent of the injuries.

 

Just then a doctor came up to Rachel and interrupted politely “Excuse me, you are the one that came in for Ms. Fabray, is that correct?”

 

Rachel nodded quickly and gripped Santana’s arm so tightly her fingers starting to go numb.

 

He offered a gentle smile then looked to his chart “It looks like there is a lot of bleeding, but we think we have found the source. We need to rush her into surgery to stop the bleeding. Do you know her blood type?”

 

“Well I’d guess A-positive” Rachel said with a nod. “She’s a triplet, so I would assume they all have the same type.”

 

“Only if they are identical. If they all came from a different egg they could all be different. Is there someone you can call that might know?”

 

“They’re identical” Santana said firmly. “It’s A-positive. I remember we did that project in junior year Biology where we got to send out a kit to find our blood types.”

 

“Good” The doctor wrote something down then looked to Santana. “And who are you?”

 

“A....friend” Santana said with a shrug. “A good friend. Someone who has known her since middle school, okay? Now can you just let us see her?”

 

“Not yet” The doctor tucked away his pen then folded his hands around his clip board. “Like I said, we are taking her to surgery to fix the bleeding. We will keep you updated but she can’t wait.”

 

“No, you have to let us see her” Santana puffed up a little, getting into full fighting form, just in case. “What if she...doesn’t make it?”

 

“I can assure you the surgery is very common.”

 

“Yeah, well, so is living but people die every day for no reason. Please just let us say goodbye or good luck or something?”

 

“She’s already sedated, I’m sorry. I will come update you but I really must go.”

 

“Let me see her!” Santana said more firmly, starting to lunge after the man but with Rachel’s grip on her arm, she didn’t get very far.

 

“If you don’t calm down I will have you removed.” The doctor said with a calm nod. 

 

Santana tried to lunge again, but Rachel tugged her back now. She grabbed Santana’s face and pulled it until her eyes met her own. “San, come on. It’s no use. Let’s just go wait. Nothing we can say or do now will help. All we can hope for is good news. I’m sure it will be fine. This is one of the best hospitals in the world.”

 

Santana’s face fell immediately. She had been determined to march in and get answers and now that Rachel was telling her there was nothing she could do, she felt helpless. She felt guilty. She hated the thought of what might happen. “What if...” She choked out in a whisper, trying to stay strong but rapidly failing.

 

“Shhh” Rachel slid her arm around her and pulled her into another hug. Her eyes closed and she let Santana’s head fall to her shoulder. As she heard Santana’s quiet crying begin, she drew in a deep breath to keep herself strong. “It’s gonna be okay, San.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

_ The sun was already peeking through the crack in the curtains but Santana was not ready to get up yet so she pulled the pillow over her head with a groan. There were only two weeks left before Senior year started and she wanted to make the most of them. By make the most of them she totally meant sleeping in every day until she physically could not sleep any more. But the sun wasn’t helping with that at all. _

 

_ After tossing around for about a half hour, Santana sighed and tossed her pillow to the floor. She lifted her head, looked at her clock, and grunted. “It’s not even noon yet” She mumbled and rolled over to her back. She stared at her ceiling and let out a heavy sigh. This is not how she had pictured the summer before her Senior year. She had wanted it to be filled with days hanging by the pool with Charlie and going on nature hikes with Charlie. Okay so she had wanted it to be filled with Charlie but that hadn’t been the case. _

 

_ They had broken up their Junior year and Santana had been miserable ever since. She had tried to be friends with her but it just sucked too bad to be around her, so she had pretty much avoided any unneeded time with her. She saw her daily on the ride to and from school and in sixth period Biology but that was it. She had hoped they would have made up before summer but that hadn’t been the case. Charlie seemed to be putting forth just as much of an effort to avoid her as she had been putting up so the two of them didn’t even speak. It sucked. Santana missed Charlie. If only Charlie would say she was sorry and make this all go away. _

 

_ Santana heard a tiny thunk against her window and shot up like a rocket in bed. Her eyes narrowed in the direction of the sound and she stayed still to see if she would hear it again. When another little thud came, she pulled the blankets off herself and made her way to the window. She peeked through the slit in the curtains and when she didn’t immediately see anything she thought maybe it was just a branch.  _

 

_ Then she saw legs. She let out a scream, the legs having taken her by surprise, and stumbled backwards. She tripped over some shoes that had been laying on the floor behind her and fell smack onto her ass. “Fuck” She grunted and reached for her cheeks, rubbing them as she slowly got back to her feet. Good thing no one saw that. She marched back to her curtains and pulled them open, ready to unleash a string of obscenities on whoever owned the legs that were creeping around her window. _

 

_ When she pulled back the curtains, her words were cut off by yet another surprise. The owner of the legs was now crouched down in front of Santana’s basement level window and a hopeful looking face greeted her with a smile. _

 

_ “Charlie?” Santana looked at her for a moment through the glass then quickly worked to unlatch the lock on her window and slide it open. “What the Hell? You scared the shit out of me.” _

 

_ “Sorry” Charlie frowned. “I tried kicking a few rocks at your window to see if you were up. When you didn’t come look out the window I decided to just go to your door. Then I saw the curtains flicker open so I thought maybe you were up after all.” _

 

_ “Yeah, I’m up” Santana folded her arms across her chest. She just now realized that she was in boy shorts and a really tiny tank top and suddenly felt really naked. _

 

_ “Can I come in?” Charlie asked softly, almost afraid to say the words in case Santana said no. _

 

_ “What are you doing here?” Santana eyed her up and down. “You haven’t said two words to me since you dumped me.” _

 

_ “I’m sorry” Charlie reached into the window now, gripped the wall, and sat on the dirt to put her legs now inside the room. _

 

_ “Here” Santana reached out and offered Charlie a hand. She helped ease her into her room, something they had done a thousand times before. Once Charlie was on her feet and brushing dirt off her shorts, Santana reached behind her and slid her window shut. She turned once it was closed and folded her arms again as she eyed her visitor up and down again. “Okay, now why are you here?” _

 

_ “I’ve been thinking” Charlie said with a shrug as she slid the bag she had on her back off her shoulders and placed it on Santana’s bed. “This summer sucked and I don’t want to start Senior year without you.” _

 

_ “I still go to the same school. You won’t be without me.” Santana mumbled and moved around her room now, picking up discarded clothing. She didn’t know why she felt the sudden urge to straighten up. She knew that Charlie was well aware of her pigsty room but for some reason she didn’t want her to see it like that now. _

 

_ “I meant without you in the sense of you and me together again.” Charlie sat on the bed now, her hands folding into her lap, her eyes on Santana. _

 

_ “You can’t just climb into my window and tell me you want me back” Santana sighed, tossing the clothes she had gathered into her closet. “You dropped me for, like, no reason at all and now after months of barely speaking you just think a romantic gesture like seducing me at my window will make me melt and forgive you?” _

 

_ “I said I was sorry about that” Charlie sighed. She reached for her bag and started unzipping it. “I know what I did sucked but I didn’t do anything wrong.” _

 

_ “You dumped me out of nowhere with no explanation.” Santana said blandly. _

 

_ “I know” Charlie frowned and pulled out the leather portfolio that she carried all of her photography in. “I had a reason. It wasn’t a good reason and I figured if I didn’t tell you, that you would hate me, and it would make it easier for me.” _

 

_ “What about me?” Santana shrugged before pulling a tshirt on over her little tank top. There, she felt less naked. _

 

_ “I know” Charlie nodded. “It wasn’t fair to you. You were left hanging and for that I apologize but when you hear my reason you are going to understand and forgive me.” She looked up at Santana and smiled widely, trying to look all cute and easy to forgive. _

 

_ Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head “You really think I’m just going to look at you and everything will be alright again?” _

 

_ “No” Charlie smiled and patted the bed next to herself “You are going to come look at this and you are going to understand.” _

 

_ Santana eyed her carefully. She was determined not to give in but her curiosity was just too much and finally she sighed and went over to the bed. She plopped down next to Charlie then gave a shrug “Okay, you have my attention.” _

 

_ Charlie smiled and looked down at her portfolio. Now she was nervous. She had kind of expected Santana to kick her out. She kind of would have preferred that because now she wasn’t sure she was ready for this. But she knew she had to show Santana what she had. So she took a breath, unwound the string that held the leather closed, and flipped it open. _

 

_ The leather revealed what it had been hiding. There on Charlie’s lap was a collage, a summary almost, of Charlie’s high school experience thus far. It was easy to see the progression from Freshman year to Junior. The first pictures were of plants, bugs, trees, and books. There were a few early ones of her and Rachel together, a few of Rachel posing with trees, and ticket stubs to movies or museums that they had gone to together. _

 

_ As it progressed into Sophomore year, less of the pictures were solo and more contained the group. A few of Charlie and her sisters, a few of the entire group obviously shot from the front seat of the Fabray SUV on the way to or from school, and some of just Rachel, Brittany, and Santana. Charlie smiled at one picture in particular. It was the three girls not named Fabray, all hunched together with ice cream in their hands. Santana looked genuinely happy. It was the first time Charlie thought that just maybe Santana didn’t hate hanging out with the girls in the group that weren’t cheerleaders. _

 

_ “What is this?” Santana asked softly. The pictures were stunning. Charlie was an amazing photographer, there was no doubt about that. But she wasn’t really sure what this was or why Charlie thought this would work to help Santana understand why she had dumped her. _

 

_ “It’s my photography project. I got an A on it” Charlie nodded. “But more than that, it’s me. It’s who I am, who I was, and who I have become. Everything on here is where my heart lies. Look” She unfolded to card stock display she had the collage on and the second half literally made Santana’s breath catch. _

 

_ “It’s all me” Santana whispered, looking at the newly revealed side of the collage. There were what looked like hundreds of pictures of her. Some of them were with the other girls but most of them were of just her. Most of them were ones that she hadn’t even been aware that Charlie had taken. It was her in her own backyard practicing cheers when she thought no one was around. It was her tucked under a blanket when she was sick with the flu. There was one of her leaning against McKinley high, looking upward at something with the sun beaming down on her in a way that almost made her look angelic. _

 

_ Santana swallowed hard and shook her head as she looked up at Charlie. “I...” _

 

_ Charlie reached out and took Santana’s hand. She moved it to one picture in the corner and tapped it before letting her hand go “That picture was taken the day I broke up with you.” _

 

_ “Why would you do that?” Santana let out a shaky whisper. _

 

_ “I hadn’t actually planned to. But I saw you later that day, before we went home, and you just looked so...” Charlie shrugged and let out a sigh “vulnerable. You looked natural. I think it might be one of the most honest moments in your life captured on film. I couldn’t resist.” _

 

_ “Charlie” Santana looked at her again, fighting back tears. “I don’t get it. I mean, I kind of understand. I meant a lot to you so you put me on your life of high school collage or whatever, but this doesn’t explain anything.” _

 

_ Charlie just smiled softly. She tapped the collage again and motioned with her head. “Just look at it for a little longer, okay?” _

 

_ Santana’s brows knitted in confusion but she gave in and looked down again. She was looking for something, anything, that might explain what Charlie was going for but all she saw was herself. She saw her in so many different ways. She saw herself laughing with Brittany. She saw herself grumpy and trying to tell Charlie to put the damn camera away. She saw herself sleeping, eating, yawning, and sweating. She even saw herself crying.  _

 

_ She saw the way she looked at Charlie. There was a picture that caught her attention and her eyes studied it now. It wasn’t a photo that Charlie had taken herself but a strip of black and white photos from the photo booth in the mall. They made goofy faces in the first frame, which lead to them both laughing hysterically in the second frame. In the third frame they had stopped laughing but they were both still smiling. They were looking right into each others eyes with subtle, loving smiles curled on both their lips. _

 

_ Santana’s heart fluttered. She could see the way she felt about Charlie just by the look on her face. She remembered that day so well. She remembered exactly what she was feeling when she looked at Charlie. It was written in big bold letters all over her face. That was the way she always looked at her, like she was the most amazing girl in the world. Anyone looking at the picture could see just how much Santana had loved Charlie. _

 

_ Then Santana looked at Charlie and her heart twisted. It was like looking into a mirror. If it hadn’t been for their contrasting colors of hair it would almost look like one girl looking into the mirror. Their faces were the same. Their eyes, the little smile, and the big bold letters flashing the message of what they felt inside. Charlie was in love with Santana. _

 

_ When Santana looked away from the pictures and up to Charlie, Charlie was biting at her bottom lip gently. Her eyes held that look that it had in the picture Santana had just been looking at. That look that said it all, the look that bared her soul. Suddenly, Santana understood. _

 

_ “Why?” Santana shook her head gently. “I don’t get it. Why would you break up with me if you felt like this?” She pointed at the black and white picture on the collage. _

 

_ “It’s because I felt like that” Charlie whispered and glanced down to the pictures. Her hand slid slowly over the length of photos spread out on her lap and she let out a sigh. “I was terrified of what I was feeling for you. You became my everything” She tapped the half of the collage that was all Santana then glanced up to her with a shrug “It was terrifying. I couldn’t handle the thought of you being my everything. I was scared I would get hurt.” _

 

_ “I wouldn’t-” _

 

_ “I know that now” Charlie looked away and closed her eyes. “But when human beings get scared they do weird things to preserve themselves. I thought if I pushed you away that I could assure my heart’s safety.” _

 

_ Santana nodded and looked back to the pictures again. She breathed in and out a few times slowly to keep herself from losing the battle to her emotions before finally she looked back up to Charlie. “I would never do anything to hurt you. Not on purpose. You have to know that. You have to stop being afraid of being hurt. It’s only causing you pain you don’t need to have. And it’s causing me pain, too.” _

 

_ “Santana” Charlie reached out to take her hand. Her eyes stared now into Santana’s so fiercely that it sent a shiver up her own spine. She bit her bottom lip firmly and tried to will herself forward. She tried to push herself to admit out loud what she had been afraid of for so long. She knew once she admitted it, there was no turning back. She drew in a breath and let out a sigh before her trembling voice finally came out “I love you and it scares the crap out of me but being without you scares me more.” _

 

_ Santana smiled slowly until a soft laugh escaped and she blinked a tear free from her eye. She leaned forward and touched a soft kiss to Charlie’s lips before pulling back enough to rest her forehead against Charlie’s “You are such an idiot.” _

 

_ Charlie laughed through her own tears and nodded “I know. But that really wasn’t the response I was expecting.” _

 

_ Another half laugh, half cry escaped Santana and she rolled her eyes “That’s why you’re an idiot. You’d have to be blind to think I didn’t love you, too.” _

 

_ Charlie’s smile widened, her hands reached up to cup at Santana’s cheeks, and she held her there, gazing into her eyes deeply “Are you sure?” _

 

_ Santana’s face twitched into an amused glare then softened quickly “Of course I’m sure. I’ve known it for months. I just didn’t want to freak you out.” _

 

_ “So I went and dumped you because I was afraid of how I felt and was afraid you didn’t feel the same?” Charlie rolled her eyes and let out a soft laugh “I really am an idiot.” _

 

_ “Yeah you are” Santana reached out and wiped a tear off Charlie’s cheek “But you’re an idiot who I love.” _

 

_ Charlie nodded against Santana’s hand and let out a happy sigh “Don’t ever let me dump you again, okay? It was a really stupid idea.” _

 

_ “Deal” Santana laughed before tilting her chin and and capturing Charlie’s lips again. That was the moment she had made herself a silent promise to never give up on Charlie no matter how stupid she was acting. There was probably a good reason behind it. _

 

A beep from one of the monitors pulled Santana out of her daydream. Her eyes shifted around the room to find the source of the sound. She stood up from where she had been sitting next to the bed and leaned close to the monitor to read it. It seemed to be giving off normal numbers so she sat down again and let out a sigh. Her eyes focused on Charlie again and her hand reached through the rail of the bed and took Charlie’s limp hand in hers. 

 

Santana had been there all night. The surgery had ran over visiting hours and everyone had been denied the chance to see her once she was put into recovery. Santana had used her natural sleuthing skills and gotten her way through the doors and into Charlie’s room. It helped that she was wearing blue scrubs and looked like she belonged in the hospital.

 

After Charlie had left their lunch, Santana had needed to unwind. The one thing that seemed to always help clear her mind was the cadaver lab. Being a second year surgery student, she was required to spend a certain amount of hours in the lab dissecting dead bodies and practicing stitching and cutting skills. She spent most of her hours there on Saturdays anyway so she had planned to head there after lunch with Charlie. She had been looking forward to cutting that afternoon more than usual because of what had happened at lunch. 

 

She had made way to the building almost as soon as Charlie had left and after changing into the required lab uniform which consisted of blue scrubs, a face and nose mask, and safety goggles, she had checked in and went to work. She had been there only about a half hour or so when she heard her phone going off. She looked up at the man sitting in the booth supervising the few students that were there that day then turned to where her phone sat on the tools table. She had forgotten to toss it in her locker in the changing room and was sure she was going to get a warning for bringing her phone into the lab when she wasn’t supposed to. When she saw it was Rachel that had been calling she considered ignoring it but something told her not to. She was glad she hadn’t.

 

She heard another beep and stood up again. She had a basic concept of what all the numbers meant and could read most of the monitors without too much trouble. So each time any of them made a noise she was up, investigating, wanting to be there at the first sign of trouble.

 

She was leaned over Charlie, reading one of the numbers, when Charlie’s eyes slowly blinked open. All she saw was a body in blue scrubs and she figured it was a nurse. Her vision was a bit blurry so she had to blink a few times to make it a little more clear. She wasn’t sure where she was but her eyes focused and she saw machines all around her. She was in a hospital and that explained the nurse leaning over her.

 

“What happened?” Charlie grumbled. The pain was starting to hit her now that the anesthesia was wearing off. She moaned and closed her eyes again.

 

Santana’s heart jumped when she heard Charlie’s voice. She immediately moved to now sit back by her side, both hands cupping at Charlie’s motionless one, and her face leaned in close to her now. “Charlie? It’s me, Santana. I’m here.”

 

Charlie blinked at the sound of Santana’s voice. Her head turned slowly and when she saw that Santana was right there beside her, she offered a weak smile. “Santana?”

 

“Yeah” Santana nodded quickly. “Don’t try to move too much. You are coming off the anesthesia so you’re going to feel tired and weak for a little bit.”

 

Charlie nodded and closed her eyes again. That was an understatement. She was tired, weak, and sore. She didn’t want to move at all. She licked at her dry lips and asked again softly “What happened?”

 

Santana took in a deep breath and looked at where her hands were wrapped around Charlie’s. Her thumb traced over her pale knuckles and let out a sigh “According to what a witness told the ambulance that picked you up, you were hit by a car. Apparently you had stepped off the curb just enough to hail a cab. A car that was going too fast hit some ice, slid out of control, and hit you. You tried to jump out of the way, but the car ended up pinning your leg between it and another car.”

 

Charlie’s face crunched into a frown. She remembered it. It was a little cloudy and a little blurry but it definitely sounded familiar. 

 

“You had a broken femur, which caused a lot of blood loss, but they found it in time and fixed it so you should be able to walk still without any problems.” Santana stared at Charlie with a sullen look on her face. She hated that she was in pain. She hated just how much rehab she had ahead of her if she wanted to heal fully. Charlie didn’t deserve this.

 

“Why does my stomach hurt?” Charlie mumbled after a few moments of silence.

 

“You also lacerated your spleen. They had to take it out. It’s okay, though. It’s one of those organs you can live without.”

 

“Perfect” Charlie mumbled softly and opened her eyes again. She turned her head to look at Santana and slowly made a motion that looked like a shake of her head. “Why are you here?”

 

“Are you joking?” Santana said softly. “You could have died. You did, in fact. You coded on the table but they got you back.” She drew in a deep breath and looked away when she thought about the fact that Charlie had actually died. Her heart had actually stopped beating. She had to swallow the lump in her throat at the thought. She shook her head and looked back up at Charlie, tears in her eyes now “You died, Charlie. You fucking died on me.”

 

“I didn’t mean to” Charlie mumbled and tried to laugh. She didn’t want to see Santana upset. She wanted to do anything she could to stop her from crying.

 

“It’s not funny!” Santana wailed and looked away again. She closed her eyes and a few tears slid down her cheeks. She drew in a deep breath and blinked away a few more tears before looking back to Charlie. “All I could think about is how fucking awful I would feel if the last conversation we ever had was today at lunch. Charlie, I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s okay” Charlie shook her head against her pillow. “Santana, I don’t blame you for what you said. I was stupid to think I wouldn’t have to earn your trust back.”

 

Santana reached out and put her hand on Charlie’s cheek. She slowly slid her thumb back and forth, her eyes gazing on her softly, as if looking at her too hard would break her. “You died.”

 

“I’ve heard” Charlie whispered.

 

“You fucking died” Santana licked at her lips and swallowed hard. “For an entire minute you were gone. I would never see you again, I would never get to hear your stupid laugh again, and I would never get to see you holding your camera again.” She drew in another long breath, trying to push away the tears but again failing. “I lost you, Charlie. There was an entire minute where you didn’t exist anymore and I didn’t like the way that felt.”

 

Charlie closed her eyes and turned her head into Santana’s hand. Tears were now leaking from her eyes. She hated the pure pain in Santana’s voice. The look in her eyes every time that she told her she died. She couldn’t take it. Her heart was breaking at the sight of Santana dealing with losing her right in front of her eyes.

 

“I can’t live without you” Santana choked out. She was now leaning so far into the bed that the rail was digging into her shoulder but she didn’t care. She needed to be close to her. “We’ve been through Hell together. But there is one thing that has always been true and that is you. You have always been a part of my life, even when you weren’t in my life. And hearing that for an entire minute you were gone?” Her head shook and she tried to breathe because her words were coming out in squeaks over her tears. “Charlie I can’t live without you, okay? Do you hear me? I’d rather fight with you for the rest of my life, go back and forth with you forever, then lose you again.”

 

Charlie’s eyes opened and she looked at Santana again. Her eyes were blurry with tears but she could still see her clearly. She had that face memorized. “Don’t say something you aren’t going to mean tomorrow.”

 

“I mean it” Santana cried out, moving her hand back down to grip Charlie’s arm now tightly. “I hate you so much sometimes but I know that it doesn’t even begin to match the amount of love I have for you. I need you. Whatever that means, I don’t know, except that I don’t want to exist in a world without you.”

 

Charlie swallowed and her eyes closed again. Her mouth was dry from the drugs that had been used on her for the surgery and she used that as an excuse for not saying anything. She wasn’t really sure what to say. Santana had pulled an entire one-eighty on her in the last few hours and she couldn’t help but think the suddenness of her injury was response and not any real logic on Santana’s behalf. 

 

Santana leaned in and gently kissed Charlie’s cheek. She let out a sigh and set her chin on the rail of the bed, her eyes trained on Charlie. They sat there in silence together for a few long minutes, Santana constantly watching her chest to make sure she was breathing. The rhythmic sound of Charlie’s lungs filling and emptying with each breath she took almost put Santana to sleep. It wasn’t until Charlie cleared her throat that she sat up and reached for her hand again “Can I get you anything?”

 

“I think I need to sleep” Charlie mumbled, her eyes closed as she spoke. She wanted to forget what was going on for just a few minutes, at least. Her mind was swimming. She had been hit by a car and suddenly Santana couldn’t live without her. She wasn’t sure how to deal with it. The last thing she wanted to do was believe it then have Santana change her mind when she was healed.

 

“Okay” Santana said with a nod. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

“Please” Charlie whispered and shook her head into her pillow. “Go home and get some rest. Eat something. Don’t worry about me, I’m in good hands.”

 

“Charlie, I don’t mind.”

 

“I do” Charlie said as firmly as she could with how exhausted she was. “Please, go home. You’ve been here long enough.”

 

Santana wanted to argue but she knew Charlie wasn’t going to hear her. She couldn’t even imagine what she must be feeling. So she just nodded and let her hand go “Alright. Sleep well.” She stood up and headed to the door. She paused and looked back. She didn’t care how much Charlie pushed this time, she wouldn’t let her go. Not when she needed her now more than ever.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Charlie’s eyes opened after a time frame she had no idea of and her head rolled to the side. She saw Santana by her bed again and she let out a sigh. At least she was wearing different clothes which meant she had gone home. Charlie let out a sigh and closed her eyes again. Maybe if she didn’t say anything Santana would give up and go home for good.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

The next time Charlie’s eyes opened it was dark outside her window. It must have been the middle of the night. She wondered if it was the same day or days later. There was really no way to tell. She felt hot, though. Like the blanket was pulled too tightly around her. She tried to move her arm and it was pinned. That’s when she realized something was laying on her. Her head rolled to the side and she saw Santana’s head on her chest. She rolled her eyes and shook her head. God damn it, Santana. This was not what she had wanted. She didn’t want Santana babysitting her. She was in a hospital for God’s sake, she didn’t need Santana.

 

So she laid there and stared at the ceiling. She could hear a soft mix of beeps from her machines and Santana’s breathing. She wanted to sleep but she was a little too irritated to at the moment so she gave into just laying there since she couldn’t move with Santana on top of her.Well on top of half of her but whatever. So she gave in and just laid in bed and felt the pain that coursed through her every now and then as her pain medicines wore off then were automatically pumped into her I.V. by one of the machines beeping around her.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Charlie’s eyes opened again and she was a bit confused. She didn’t remember falling to sleep. It must have been between doses of pain medications. This time she could move her arm though so she knew Santana wasn’t in bed with her anymore. She rolled her head to the side and when she didn’t see anyone else in the room she smiled. Finally she had left her alone. Then she felt a little sad. Santana had actually left.

 

“Hey” Santana popped her head into the door and gave her a smile. “You’re up” She moved back over to the bed and sat down on the chair that was now probably molded to the shape of her butt. “I just went to get some coffee” She lifted the cup to show her then took a sip. “How are you feeling?”

 

“I told you to go home” Charlie let out a sigh.

 

“I did” Santana shrugged. “I showered and changed then I came back.” She took another sip then kicked back in the chair. She put her feet on the edge of the bed and looked at Charlie with a grin. “I’m not going to leave you alone. So you can stop pushing me away.”

 

Charlie rolled her eyes and shook her head a little bit “What are you talking about? I am trying to do what you wanted. I am giving you space so we can work at being friends.”

 

“Mhm” Santana hummed over the rim of her cup. She gave another gentle smile and dropped her feet so she could lean forward. She reached out and grabbed Charlie’s hand, giving it a squeeze “I’m not going anywhere, okay? I told you, I don’t like the idea of you not being in my life. You are going to have to deal with that.”

 

“You are only saying that because I almost died. Death does a weird thing to people.”

 

Santana frowned and gave Charlie’s hand another squeeze “I don’t get you, Charlie. Not too long ago you were disappointed I wasn’t just taking you back and now you won’t even let me entertain the idea of wanting to be with you again.”

 

“It’s because it’s not what you want. You were scared and feeling lost and you panicked. So you think that a big life change to do the right thing will make you feel better about what happened to me. You think it was some way of the universe telling you to use it or lose it, so to speak.”

 

“Why are you being so cruel?” Santana shook her head slightly.

 

“Because what you’re feeling is going to fade and you are going to regret being with me.”

 

“No” Santana frowned again. “I won’t.

 

“You say that now but at three in the morning when I wake up needing the pain medicine I am sure I will need for months to come, you will think twice. When I am cranky because I’m in rehab and can’t walk like I used to yet you will second guess it. When I get pissed that I am in a wheelchair instead of on crutches you will hate yourself for putting yourself in the position of having to be there for me because you felt bad about what happened to me.”

 

“Do you really think I’m that selfish? Do you think I’m an idiot who doesn’t know what is coming? I am very much aware of the recovery that is coming for you, Charlie. If anyone in the world knows, it’s me. And I want to be there” Santana stood now and leaned over her so she could stare into her eyes and not look away. “You are going to need someone to be there for you when you have been cruel to everyone else trying to help you. You are going to need someone who actually wants to be around you, good days and bad. And if you think for one moment you can do this alone, you are crazy.”

 

“I don’t need you” Charlie huffed and closed her eyes so she didn’t have to look at Santana who was hovering above her. 

 

“Yes you do” Santana grunted and pushed off the bed. She straightened up and threw her hands in the air in frustration. She paced around the room a little bit before pausing and looking back at Charlie in bed “Do you remember when you came to me before Senior year, told me you were in love with me, and made me promise not to let you dump me for something stupid again?”

 

“What does that have to do with this?”

 

“I’ve let you down, Chuck. I let you dump me in Vegas because I told you I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get married. I spent years not talking to you because you hurt me when I should have stopped to notice just how much pain you were in and made you stop. I should have had the conversation we had in Lima years ago. I’ve lost so much time when it comes to keeping my promise to you. And when I wasn’t sure if you were going to live or die, I knew if I got the chance I would stop wasting time and be there for you because I promised you I would.”

 

“You don’t owe me anything, Santana.”

 

“Considering all we’ve been through, you might be right.” Santana shook her head and took a seat in the chair next to the bed again. “But in my mind this is my chance to make right on that promise. If I let you push me away each time you need me the most then I am failing and I have. I have let you push me and I’ve given up because I thought that would be best. But not this time. So push all you want, Charlie. Be cruel, bitch me out, and tell me to leave. I am not going anywhere.”

 

Charlie just shook her head. There was nothing she could say to change Santana’s mind so she just closed her eyes. It had worked before so she tried the whole faking to sleep again.

 

Santana let out a frustrated growl and reached out to push at Charlie’s arm “You can’t fucking fake sleeping again. I’m still not leaving. So deal with it.”

 

Charlie frowned and opened a single eye to look at Santana. “I have a headache. Honestly. Can you at least shut up until I fall asleep?”

 

Santana nodded and sat back in the chair again. “Fair enough. But when you wake up I am going to have the doctor go over your charts with you so you know how long to expect to be in here.”

 

Charlie let out an annoyed sigh that was louder than it needed to be then closed her eye. “Fine” She mumbled and turned her head to the side. “Just be quiet.”

 

“Fine” Santana folded her arms across her chest. She stared at Charlie until she was sure she was asleep. Then she let out a sigh and relaxed. She hoped Charlie wasn’t right. She hoped she didn’t feel the overwhelming need to be with her and take care of her just because she felt bad about her accident. She supposed that only time would tell.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	8. Eight more weeks of winter

The next few days were filled with Santana’s smug smile every time Charlie opened her eyes to see that she was in fact still by her side. It was starting to get annoying. So when Dana and Brittany showed up to visit, she was relieved she wouldn’t have to deal with Santana for a bit.

 

Santana had spoken with her professors and let them know what was happening. They allowed her to take some time off school without it affecting the attendance part of her grade. She was also given assignments and access to videos of lectures so she wouldn’t fall behind while she helped tend to Charlie. She had sold the whole real world experience angle, saying this could only help her medical career. 

 

Day in and day out, Santana was there. She would study and watch lectures on her laptop when Charlie was asleep. She would make sure Charlie ate the food that was brought to her room and help her to the bathroom when she needed to go. The doctor had come in and let them know that Charlie putting weight on her leg was important to help her retain muscle and her physical therapy had begun just a couple days after surgery.

 

A week later Charlie was finally able to leave the hospital. Since she had been staying at a hotel while in New York for work, she didn’t really have any other place to go but to Santana and Rachel’s place. Santana all but demanded it anyway. Rachel was glad to get the chance to see her friend more regularly, too.

 

Charlie had crutches so she could move around the loft but for long journeys it had been recommended she be wheeled around in her wheelchair. Which she hated. She wanted to be self-sufficient, and she felt like Santana’s smugness only grew when she pushed Charlie around, but her leg was still too sore to be on it for too long so she just gave in and allowed it.

 

Santana smiled as she rolled Charlie through the door in the loft with Rachel behind them to bring in Charlie’s bag and close the door. “Welcome home” Santana nodded and parked Charlie near the couch. She turned around and motioned to the kitchen area “As you can see, that is the kitchen-”

 

“I’ve been here before” Charlie interrupted her with a roll of her eyes.

 

“Oh yeah” Santana shrugged then motioned to Rachel to hand over Charlie’s bag. “Well then, make yourself at home. I am going to go set your things in my room.”

 

“Your room?” Charlie turned to look over her shoulder to where Santana was disappearing into the sheet walls that marked her room.

 

“Yeah” Santana called through the thin sheets. “You are staying in my bed. Did you really think I would let you sleep on the couch?”

 

“It’s an awful couch” Rachel said with a firm nod. “She is doing you a favor, really.”

 

“And where will you sleep?” Charlie called through the sheets again.

 

“My bed” Santana said with a laugh as she popped out of the sheets to join the girls in the living room again.

 

“Don’t you think that is a little awkward?” Charlie said with a roll of her eyes.

 

“Why?” Santana shook her head and moved to take hold of Charlie’s wheelchair again. “It’s not like we’ve never shared a bed before. Besides, I want to be able to be there when you need your meds at night and if you need to go pee.”

 

“I think I can manage by myself” Charlie mumbled.

 

“Yeah, until your stubborn ass falls over something in the dark and you re-injure your leg” Santana pushed her through the sheets and into her room. It was obvious the bed was big enough that if they slept in it together they wouldn’t really have to touch. “Don’t fight this, Charlie. I’m the best one for the job.”

 

“You are treating me like a child” Charlie put on the brakes of her wheelchair and pushed off the arm rests until she was standing on her good leg. “I am not incapable of taking care of myself.”

 

“But you  _ are _ recovering from a serious injury” Santana reached for Charlie’s crutches that were propped against the wall and handed them to her. “It’s a hard road, one that you can’t go down alone. Not without risking healing properly.”

 

Charlie just shook her head and tucked her crutches under her arm. She gently worked them as she moved around the bed to sit on the side nearest the window. She sat down and let out a sigh, reaching to the flexible brace that was wrapped around her leg, and ripping the velcro open.

 

“What are you doing?” Santana crossed her arms, watching Charlie carefully.

 

“Washing my incision site” Charlie said sarcastically. “I am aware that I need to keep it clean and watch for infection. I have ears and heard every word the doctor said.”

 

“I meant what are you doing on that side of the bed?”

 

“I want to be able to look outside if I am going to be laying around for the next few weeks.” Charlie shrugged and gently eased the brace open once all the velcro had been pulled apart.

 

“That’s my side of the bed” Santana said with a smirk, moving to grab the bag of cleaning supplies the hospital had sent home with them. She went to Charlie and handed the bag over so she could clean her leg.

 

“Well it’s my side now” Charlie shrugged and reaching for the bag. “Thank you.”

 

“Fine” Santana waved it off. “It’s a small sacrifice if it means we don’t have to argue about it.” She crouched down near Charlie now and reached out to gently touch her leg. She shook her head and let out a heavy sigh “Ouch.”

 

“Yeah” Charlie whispered softly as she tore open a clean gauze.

 

“Are you still in a lot of pain?” Santana reached into the bag to grab the iodine they had been given.

 

“Not at the moment. The last hit of meds they gave me before they unhooked me hasn’t worn off yet.” Charlie took the iodine and gently let it drop onto the incision.

 

“Good” Santana watched as Charlie carefully cleaned her leg. She was chewing her lip nervously, holding her breath, and hoping she didn’t push too hard. The last thing they needed was her accidentally ripping it open or something. 

 

Charlie was almost afraid to push too hard. When the nurses and doctors had inspected her leg she had been on a very high dose of pain medicine so it had only felt like a healing bruise that only hurt for a second if you pushed just right. Now, though, she was responsible for her own pain and wasn’t really sure where the threshold was now that she was on considerably lower doses of medicine.

 

When Charlie finished with only a few flinches, Santana stood and offered her hand out for the discarded cleaning supplies. Charlie handed them over then slid back on the bed, leaving the brace off. She turned ever so gently, grunting as she moved her leg onto the bed. Once it was resting on the mattress she slid back to let her back hit the wall behind the bed. She leaned back and closed her eyes fighting the wave of dull pain that was pulsing through her leg.

 

Santana frowned as she watched the girl settle on her bed. The next few days would be rough. Less pain medicine and more physical therapy than before. She wished she could take the pain Charlie was about to feel and be the one to feel it instead. “I am going to go fix some lunch, okay?”

 

Charlie just nodded and waved her off. She wasn’t sure she could eat but if it meant Santana was out of the room then she was all for it. She just needed a moment to be alone while reality set in. This was really happening. She was really about to face a mountain of challenges on her way to hopefully getting her leg healed properly. She wanted to cry at the thought.

 

Santana just nodded at Charlie’s nod. She walked to the trash can near her desk and dropped the discarded items into it before glancing back at the bed. She frowned when she saw the girl still fighting a wave of pain. “If you need me, I’ll be right out here.”

 

“Thanks” Charlie mumbled softly before slowly sliding down a little so she could actually lay down.

 

Santana smiled very softly at the thanks. Maybe Charlie wouldn’t fight this as much as she thought she might. Only time would tell. The only thing she knew for sure was this was going to be an exhausting venture and she hoped they didn’t end up killing each other before it was all over with.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“God damn it, Charlie!” Rachel shot up in bed at the sound of Santana yelling all the way across the loft. She looked over at the clock and saw that it wasn’t even five in the morning yet. Why was Santana yelling this early? 

 

“Leave me alone!” Charlie hollered followed by the unmistakable sound of a struggle. When Rachel heard this she flew out of bed like a rocket. She was out of her room and across the loft in record time. She followed the sounds of the scuffle and ended up just outside the bathroom. The door was just slightly ajar but there was no mistaking the sound was coming from within. She pushed the door open and was about to ask what was going on but was too shocked at what her eyes landed on.

 

There standing in the shower was Charlie, naked, one crutch under her arm. A fully clothed Santana had an arm around her waist, the other one was fighting with Charlie for control of the shower head. The water was barely on but it was coming out enough to have soaked both the girls, the wall, the floor, and part of the toilet.

 

“What is happening?” Rachel shouted over the sound of the two of them struggling for dominance.

 

Both girls froze at the sound of another voice. The shower head, thankfully, froze over the tub and both Santana and Charlie slowly turned their heads toward the door. The way Santana stood blocked most of Charlie’s body from view, which Rachel was thankful for. She never wanted to see her friend in the nude. Ever.

 

“Hey” Santana offered a sheepish smile and tugged at the shower head. “What are you doing up?”

 

“You were screaming at each other. China is awake now!” Rachel huffed, folding her arms. “What the Hell is going on?”

 

“She tried to shower alone” Santana looked back at Charlie with a scowl on her lips. “With a fucking crutch so she could stand by herself!”

 

“I was doing just fine until you busted in here!” Charlie tugged at the shower head trying to get it loose from Santana’s death grip. “I am a grown woman, I can wash my own ass!”

 

“Bull” Santana growled. “You can’t stand by yourself and bringing a crutch into the shower is absolutely the stupidest thing I have ever seen. It is going to rust and then where will you be? Down a leg and a crutch!”

 

“Maybe I wanted five seconds away from you” Charlie hissed back at her.

 

“Girls!” Rachel clapped her hands to get their attention. When they stopped and looked at Rachel, she let out a sigh. “Okay, look, how about we stop yelling for one and turn off the shower. You two are soaking the new rugs I got.”

 

“Shit” Santana looked down and noticed the puddle. She reached to the knob to turn off the water then let go of the shower head since there was now need to wrestle it from Charlie. “Sorry. But you know I’m right, right?”

 

“Bringing a crutch into the shower is kind of silly” Rachel said with a shrug. 

 

“Unbelievable! I can’t believe you would take her side.” Charlie threw her hands in the air in defeat. When she did that, her crutch slipped, and all the weight she had been putting on it went with it. 

 

Santana wasn’t sure how she did it. It was like she had been a super hero or something. She caught the crutch moving out of the corner of her eye and just reacted. She scooped Charlie into her arms, lifting her as if she were her new bride, while managing to keep her own balance on the wet surface of the tub that she was half standing in. 

 

Rachel gasped and stepped forward to help but the dust was settled before it was even stirred up. All three girls had wide eyes at what could have happened and kind of exchanged looks for a few awkward seconds before Rachel let out a laugh. “Wow that was close.”

 

“Put me down” Charlie huffed.

 

“I just saved you from potential re-injury and all you have to say is put you down?” Santana frowned and stepped out of the tub so she was on an even surface at least. “Would it kill you to say thank you?”

 

“Probably” Charlie folded her arms and looked away from Santana.

 

“Unbelievable” Santana whispered with a shake of her head. She moved to gently, very gently, set Charlie on the toilet lid before slowly backing away. She grabbed a towel and handed it to Charlie so she could cover herself before turning to look at Rachel “A little help here?”

 

Rachel let out a sigh. She honestly had no idea what to do. Santana and Charlie had been bickering for weeks and she was trying her best not to get involved. “How about” She offered with a shrug “I help Charlie with her shower and Santana you get some breakfast started? That way you aren’t annoying Charlie anymore and she can get clean since it was obviously a dire need at this very moment.”

 

“I don’t want you to see me naked” Charlie folded her arms to hold the towel over her body. “I don’t want either of you to see me naked. I want some god damn privacy while I clean myself up!”

 

“Look” Rachel said quickly, cutting off Santana who had drawn in a deep breath, ready to unleash a lecture. “You can’t bathe yet, doctor’s orders. You can’t support your weight on your leg fully yet either. So you are stuck with either a wipe down type bath or me helping you. I promise I won’t look. I will simply offer you a supporting hand while you do your thing. You can hold onto me and balance on your good leg while you take care of business.”

 

Charlie rolled her eyes and glanced at Santana. She would almost prefer Santana do that because now it was going to be awkward with Rachel. They had managed to know each other ten years and not seen each other naked. Finally she let out a sigh and nodded “Fine, but I can stand by myself for a little bit. Like a minute at a time. It’s good for my physical therapy anyway. So I will reach out for you when I need to take the weight off my leg.”

 

Rachel nodded then looked over to Santana for approval. She knew Santana was very aware of the healing process and the therapy process and didn’t want to do anything that was too risky. When Santana rolled her eyes but gave a go ahead nod, Rachel smiled and looked back to Charlie. “Okay. Go ahead and climb in, I will help you. When you are in, I will shut the curtain and you hand me your towel.”

 

Charlie nodded and reached for Rachel’s hand so she could help her to her feet. Santana watched carefully, ready to jump in and help if need be. But the two worked it out pretty well and soon the water was on again. So she decided to go make breakfast like Rachel had suggested. She needed to change into some dry clothes first, though. “You alright?” Santana said softly to Rachel who had her arm through the curtain but her face turned toward the door.

 

“Go” Rachel said softly. The two exchanged a smile and Santana finally left the room. 

 

Rachel watched her friend go then turned her head back toward the shower. She stared at her arm that was pushed through the curtain into the stream of water from the shower. “How’s it going in there?” She asked softly.

 

“I haven’t died yet” Charlie replied blandly as her hand ran through her hair trying to spread around the shampoo.

 

Rachel nodded and looked away again. This was one of the most awkward things she had ever done. But if it got Santana and Charlie to stop fighting for five seconds she was happy to do it. She knew they fought because Santana was trying to help and Charlie was too stubborn to want help. It was funny how Charlie had turned into Santana and Santana now resembled Charlie. If only their high school selves could see them now.

 

“Okay I’m going to let go to rinse my hair. Just a warning” Charlie gently let go of Rachel and stared to run both hands through the suds on her head hoping she could rinse quickly.

 

Rachel bit her lip nervously and waited. Her arm was still in the shower in case Charlie needed it in an emergency situation. God she hoped she didn’t fall, and if she did, she could hoped she was strong enough to catch her before she hurt herself.

 

Charlie’s hand wrapped around Rachel’s arm a minute later and she let out a grunt “That hurt but I got it.”

 

“You okay?” Rachel asked gently.

 

“Yeah, yeah. Just got to condition my hair and I’ll be good.”

 

Rachel nodded and let Charlie do her thing. She was quiet for a few minutes while Charlie lathered up her hair. She heard the clanking of pans in the kitchen and knew Santana had started on breakfast. Her eyes flickered around the room then back to the curtain when Charlie let go of her arm again “She cares about you, you know?”

 

Charlie let out a sigh as she stood gingerly with her injured leg, using both hands to rinse the conditioner from her hair. “I know but she’s annoying me.”

 

“I hate to take sides, you know I do, but Santana is right. You need help.”

 

“I’m doing just fine.” Charlie gripped Rachel’s arm tightly and lifted her leg off the floor to relieve the pressure from it.

 

“You’re lucky to have her, you know that right? No one else would have put up with your yelling at them for more than a week.”

 

Charlie sighed and reached for the faucet. She turned it off slowly and once the water was off, stood there for a moment. She knew Rachel was right but she also hated that Rachel was right. “Can you hand me my towel?”

 

Rachel reached for the towel Charlie had used earlier and pushed it through the curtain into the shower. When she felt Charlie take it to wrap around herself, she stepped back and pulled the curtain open. “You have to take it easy on her. She is putting a lot of stuff on the back burner for you. She is missing school for you. Attendance is important in med school but she is risking the teachers docking her grade to take care of you.”

 

“I know” Charlie said softly before reaching out for Rachel’s hand. She gripped it tightly when it was offered to her and very, very gingerly moved to step out of the tub. She hissed as she dropped to the toilet as soon as she could so the weight was off her leg completely. She looked up at Rachel and sighed “I just don’t want her getting too close. I want her to go back to school and leave me alone. I don’t want to depend on her and then when I am all better have her change her mind about being with me.”

 

“What do you mean change her mind? You really think this is the thing that is going to get you two back together?” Rachel’s face held an amused smile as she moved to look in the mirror now that Charlie was sitting still. Man she looked tired. She could have used an extra hour of sleep.

 

“She didn’t tell you?” Charlie perked an eyebrow at that. She was surprised. Santana and Rachel had become so close that they both told each other everything.

 

“Tell me what?” Rachel looked at her friend curiously.

 

Charlie let out a laugh and started using the end of the towel to gently dry her leg. “In the hospital after I woke up she had this like huge epiphany or something. Apparently me dying for a minute on the operating table made her realize she didn’t want to live without me.” She just shrugged and kept her eyes on the scar that was forming where her incision was healing. “I didn’t take her too seriously because people say stuff they don’t mean in the heat of the moment.”

 

“Really?” Rachel cocked her head to the side and slowly turned to look at the door. She eyed it as if she were actually eyeing Santana herself then nodded her head “Interesting.”

 

“Not too interesting if she didn’t tell you. Means she wasn’t serious.”

 

“Or she was dead serious and hasn’t had the guts to tell me because of what I might think” Rachel shrugged and looked back to Charlie with a serious look on her face.

 

“And what do you think?” Charlie asked softly, half afraid to hear her answer.

 

Rachel just smiled softly. She moved the crutches Charlie had used to get herself to the bathroom closer to where she sat on the toilet then motioned toward the door. “Like I said, you are lucky to have her.” She stepped toward the door and paused just before opening it. “Get dressed and I will see you at breakfast, okay?”

 

Charlie watched Rachel curiously but before she could ask what she meant, Rachel was gone. She blinked a few times in confusion then shook her head and went back to drying herself off. What was going through Rachel’s head? God she wished they were as close as they used to be so she could tell. They were getting closer but obviously not close enough yet if she couldn’t read Rachel’s mind. And now her own mind was spinning too. Why wouldn’t Santana tell Rachel? Was she really serious about it or was she just too embarrassed to admit she had gone through a moment of weakness? She needed a pain pill and a nap because now her head was starting to hurt, too.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“So” Rachel said softly as soon as Santana walked out of her room after helping get Charlie in bed. Breakfast had been successful, all the girls getting their fill, and put something on Charlie’s stomach so she could take her pain medicine. It had only taken a few minutes before she had started to feel tired so Santana had helped her to bed so she could take a nap. 

 

“So?” Santana looked at Rachel curiously before stepping around her to find her books.

 

“I found out something interesting while helping Charlie shower.” Rachel grinned and followed behind Santana slowly.

 

“That her and Quinn look exactly alike naked?” Santana looked over her shoulder with a smirk.

 

“Ew” Rachel lifted a finger to stop Santana from continuing “no.” She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to get that image out of her mind. When she opened her eyes again she took a breath to continue but paused and tilted her head to the side “Wait, how do you know what Quinn looks like naked?”

 

“Please” Santana rolled her eyes with a laugh as she packed her notebooks into her backpack. “We were on cheer together all through high school. Do you really think I didn’t look? I had to see what I was up against.” She shrugged and reached for her pens.

 

“Gross” Rachel shook her head again. That was the last thing she needed to hear. She quickly waved it off and stepped closer “Anyway. Charlie told me about your big confession in the hospital.”

 

“She’s been on drugs for weeks, Berry. She probably dreamed it because I haven’t confessed anything.” Santana slung the bag over her shoulder and looked at Rachel with another shrug.

 

“Oh so you didn’t tell her that you realized you can’t live without her?” Rachel perked a challenging eyebrow and crossed her arms firmly.

 

Santana’s sarcastic and amused look on her face dropped. She looked immediately guilty. She quickly blinked it away and put on her casual, unaffected face “Must have been a drug dream.” She turned quickly and headed for the door.

 

“Santana Lopez!” Rachel gasped, a little giddy now that she knew the truth. She followed her and grabbed her arm before she could leave. “How could you not tell me that? That is like huge! Are you sure?”

 

“I’m late” Santana pushed out a forced smile and pulled her arm out of Rachel’s hand before reaching for the door. “I have to go check in with my professors, turn in my assignments, and spend some time in the lab. Do you mind sitting with Charlie until I get back?”

 

“Santana” Rachel said firmly, giving her a bit of a glare. “Are you really not talking about this?”

 

“Yeah” Santana nodded and pulled open the door.

 

Rachel opened her mouth to argue but stopped. She rolled her eyes and gave her hand a little flick of a wave to tell Santana to go ahead. “I’m not letting this go.”

 

“I’m not listening” Santana sang out as she left the loft, sliding the door closed behind her. She got to the elevator and after stepping inside and waiting for it to drop to the ground floor, she let out a sigh. Now Rachel knew. Great. This was going to be the topic of conversation every single time they were alone now. She curled her lip in disgust and shook her head. Stupid Charlie and her big mouth.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

As weeks flew by and as the New York winter grew harsher, the tension in the loft lightened. Charlie and Santana had managed to come to some sort of agreement about Santana helping out and where the lines were drawn. With Charlie able to be more mobile as the weeks went on, she had gotten more free time and less lectures about doing stuff on her own. This had helped the two of them keep from tearing each other apart.

 

It was nearly Christmas now and Charlie was almost fully self-sufficient when it came to moving around the loft. She used the crutches less and less and just hopped around when she needed to. Physical therapy had been going well and the doctors said that if she kept on the track she was on that she would probably have full strength and mobility back by March. God she sure hoped so.

 

“What you looking at?” Santana handed over a mug of tea and glanced at what Charlie had spread out over her desk.

 

“Stills from the photo shoot I did before my accident. I’ve been on the phone the past few days trying to work out some sort of deal and see if that spot is still potentially open for me.” Charlie slid a few pictures to the side then picked up a roll of negatives and held them to the light.

 

“That’s good news, right? The fact that they are talking to you? Do they know what happened?”

 

“Of course” Charlie nodded. “They had told me to take my time and get better when I had called the next day but I just wanted to make sure someone else hadn’t swooped in and taken the job from me.”

 

“I am sure you are worth the wait and they know that” Santana gave her a smile then sipped her own tea. 

 

“Santana! Charlie! They’re here!” Rachel called out from the living room.

 

Santana looked up and smiled then reached out to stop Charlie’s hand from picking up more pictures. “Come on, you can look at this later.”

 

“I need to pick the one I want to submit by Monday!” Charlie groaned and tried for a picture with her other hand.

 

“It’s Thursday. You will have plenty of time.” Santana tugged at her hand and when Charlie gave in and turned for her crutches, she smiled. She waited until Charlie was on her feet before leading the way out of the room. 

 

“There they are!” Dana called out with a wide smile when the girls came out of the room. 

 

“Hey” Santana let out a laugh and moved over to give her old friend a tight hug. She pulled back and immediately stepped to the side to allow Charlie to hug her sister and so she could hug Brittany. “So glad you made it. Was the flight bad with the storm?”

 

Brittany returned the hug and shook her head “Just a little bumpy. How are things here?”

 

“Good” Santana stepped back and looked at Charlie who was now moving in to hug Brittany. “I managed to pass all my classes by some miracle. I am so glad they were so understanding of my situation.”

 

“I still say I didn’t need a babysitter” Charlie stepped back from hugging Brittany and gave Santana a smile. Now when they joked about it, it was just that: A joke. 

 

“Says the girl who almost died in the shower” Santana said with a roll of her eyes before playfully nudging Charlie with her shoulder.

 

“Look at that” Dana smirked, watching them interact. “No tears, no yelling? Maybe this broken leg is the best thing that could have happened.”

 

“I can’t disagree with that” Rachel chimed in with a grin “In fact-”

 

“So” Santana cut Rachel off and covered her mouth with her hand quickly. “Are we excited for Christmas? Just a few days away!”

 

“I prefer Hanumas” Quinn said with a smirk having come from the bathroom.

 

“Suck up” Rachel nudged her and gave her a smile.

 

“Hey you guys” Quinn moved to hug her sister then Brittany before stepping back and looking at everyone. “Look at this. All of us in one room for the holidays. Just like old times.”

 

There was a shared smile as the girls all nodded and looked around. None of them could remember the last time they had all spent the holidays together. Maybe the first year of college after Quinn and Rachel had made up? That felt like a lifetime ago.

 

“So” Rachel gave a clap and broke the moment of silence they had slipped into. “As you can see we have set up the tree but have yet to decorate it. I figured we could all do that tonight after dinner.”

 

“What’s for dinner?” Brittany asked “Because it smells delicious.”

 

“Mom’s famous holiday pot roast” Quinn said proudly.

 

“Hell yes” Dana pumped her fist. That was her all time favorite thing ever.

 

“Too bad she couldn’t join us” Rachel said with a frown.

 

“Yeah I would pass up hanging out with us to go to the Bahamas, too” Dana said with a laugh. “I need to marry a rich dude.”

 

“Hey” Brittany nudged her with a laugh.

 

“Oops, my bad” Dana smirked and slid her arm around her tightly. The girls shared a laugh before Rachel motioned toward the living room “Alright ladies, settle in and make yourselves at home. The couch folds out into a bed. It’s not very comfortable, but it beats paying for a hotel, right?”

 

“I guess” Dana shrugged then moved to take her and Brittany’s bags over toward the couch. She tucked them away between the arm rest and the wall before turning around and giving Charlie, who had made her way to sit on the couch, a little smile “So how are you feeling?”

 

“Better” Charlie nodded and plopped down on the couch, something she wouldn’t have dared to do early on. “Doctor’s say that late March might be the earliest I will have full range back.”

 

“That’s not too bad” Dana nodded and sat down by her sister. She looked across the loft to where Brittany and Santana were laughing and catching up then to the kitchen where Quinn was stirring something and Rachel was checking the oven. She smiled then turned to look back to her youngest sister “How are things? You and Santana really seem to be getting along.”

 

“Yeah” Charlie nodded, picking up the remote and pointing it at the tv. “It wasn’t easy at first. I was kind of a bitch.”

 

“I heard” Dana smirked.

 

“But” Charlie looked at her with a scowl then smiled and looked back at the tv “I guess I finally gave in and realized I did need some help. Who better than a med student, right? Eager to learn and all the information was fresh in her brain so I knew she wasn’t some old doctor bored with life and overlooking something.”

 

Dana nodded and kicked back on the couch. She ran her hand back through her now auburn colored hair then looked to her sister “You got lucky, you know? When I heard you’d been hit by a car, I was picturing the worst.” She reached out and put a hand on Charlie’s thigh, then quickly lifted her hand when Charlie winced. “Shit, sorry. I forgot” She gave her an apologetic look, feeling bad to have just nearly slapped her sore leg.

 

“It’s okay” Charlie breathed out slowly, her face red from having pulled in a sharp breath and held it for a few seconds to push away the pain.

 

Dana nodded and put her hand back on her own lap “Anyway I was trying to say I’m glad you’re not dead, little sis.”

 

“Thanks” Charlie looked at her and gave a genuine smile. “I’m pretty glad, too.”

 

“Looks like it’s ready!” Rachel called out with another clap of her hands. Dana helped Charlie up and everyone moved to the table. Just like they had done so many times around the Fabray table, they all filled in the seats and started passing around dishes full of food. Soon good conversation and good food took over. It was just like old times. The six of them together as a family.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

After dinner everyone settled around the tree and Rachel put on Christmas music before handing out decorations. She had assigned everyone a specific job and a certain order that each decoration needed to be put on the tree. This lasted for about five seconds before everyone was just tossing their decorations on the tree at the same time, which annoyed Rachel for about a minute before she realized everyone was laughing and having fun. She would just have to redecorate later if it looked disheveled.

 

After the tree was finished everyone decided that it was time to call it a night. Brittany and Dana were exhausted from the flight, Charlie’s leg was throbbing from all the use that day, and Quinn had cooked all day. So everyone said their goodnights then split off in their separate ways.

 

Santana had just finished changing when Charlie, who was sitting in bed already, cleared her throat quietly. “So I’ve been thinking.”

 

“I used to know what was coming next when you said those words” Santana laughed softly and moved to her dresser. She grabbed her lotion and sat on the end of the bed to start applying it onto her arms. She looked over her shoulder to where Charlie sat and gave her a smile “Go on.”

 

Charlie rolled her eyes in amusement and shook her head. Santana did used to be able to guess what was on Charlie’s mind. Those were easier times. She watched Santana smooth lotion over her skin for a moment before she finally continued “Anyway. I know you and I talked about not getting each other anything for Christmas because it was just trivial considering what I went through. But, you know me, I never listen.”

 

Santana turned around slowly and her eyes narrowed on Charlie. “You didn’t” She mumbled softly.

 

“It’s nothing big!” Charlie held up her hands in surrender before Santana could lecture her.

 

“Charlie” Santana sighed and stood up again. She put the lotion where it belonged then moved over to her side of the bed. She climbed in and pulled the blankets over her legs and put her back to the wall so she could sit up. “I told you a gift was unnecessary. Besides, my gift has been getting to hang out with your stubborn ass for the past month and a half.”

 

“Oh the gift that keeps on giving” Charlie sang playfully before rolling her eyes. She looked at Santana and her smile softened slightly “I really appreciate all you’ve done for me. I wanted to give you a little something to say thank you.”

 

Santana let out a sigh but tossed her hand up in defeat “Okay, fine. I know you’re stubborn enough not to give in anyway. Besides, if you already got it I’m not going to make you return it. But I am not going to be happy about it.” She smirked and gave her a sarcastic nudge.

 

“No I think you will be happy about it.” Charlie said with a slight nod before letting out a puff of air and looking at Santana almost shyly “At least I hope you’ll like it.”

 

“I’m sure it’ll be lovely” Santana nodded and reached for the remote on her beside table. She flicked on the tv and started to scroll through the menu. “You were always great at giving gifts.”

 

Charlie nodded and looked at the tv but only for a moment. Her eyes drifted back to Santana and slowly her hand reached out to touch at her hand lightly. “Santana...”

 

“Hmm?” Santana glanced over to her quickly then did a double take when she saw the look on Charlie’s face. She looked worried, almost nauseous, and Santana immediately looked concerned “What’s wrong?”

 

Charlie’s breath trembled as she slowly let it out. Her hand wrapped now around Santana’s and she licked at her lips because her mouth was suddenly dry. She just stared at her as if trying to pin down what she was going to say. When Santana turned toward her and started to ask if she was okay, Charlie’s hand moved to the back of her head and quickly pulled her down into a kiss. As soon as their lips touched, Charlie’s fingers curled into the back of Santana’s hair, holding her there with all her might.

 

The kiss caught Santana by surprise to say the least. But she didn’t pull back. She froze for a split second and when she was sure it was really happening, she tilted her head and returned the kiss. Her hand lifted and she cupped gently at Charlie’s cheek before her lips parted and she deepened the kiss slightly by sliding her tongue through her lips.

 

Charlie’s lips parted at the exact same time and their tongues tangled perfectly. It was like they were sixteen again sharing a kiss they had shared so many times and yet it felt completely brand new at the same time. Charlie’s heart was racing as the kiss went on. She had been terrified to try and now she was glad she had.

 

After a few minutes of perfect lip and tongue dancing, Santana slowly pulled back and broke the kiss. She blinked her eyes a few times as they came open and she focused on Charlie. A slow smile crept over her lips and she couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. “Well that was unexpected.”

 

Charlie’s head dipped shyly before she gave a slight nod “Yeah I almost chickened out. I had visions of you slapping me.”

 

“I would never. Even if I didn’t want you to kiss me, I’d never slap you” Santana frowned softly and moved her hand to lightly against Charlie’s cheek.

 

“Wait? Even if you didn’t want it?” Charlie gave her a curious look “Does that mean you wanted it?”

 

Santana’s smile was shy now and she just looked down and gave a shrug.

 

Charlie’s smile couldn’t be contained. She let out a soft giggle and leaned into Santana, her hand moving through her hair and down her back slowly “So how long have you been thinking about kissing me, huh?” She couldn’t pass up the chance to tease Santana. It was a rare occasion.

 

Santana rolled her eyes and batted Charlie’s hand away, looking up to her with a wide grin “Shut up. I haven’t been actively thinking about it but I’ve definitely wanted it.”

 

“Even though I was a total bitch to you?” Charlie asked softly, a bit of a frown taking over at the thought of how horrible she had been.

 

“Especially when you were a bitch to me” Santana said with a little smirk “It was kinda hot, actually. I think I rubbed off on you.”

 

“Yeah yeah” Charlie blushed slightly and rolled her eyes. She let out a soft sigh and reached out to take Santana’s hand. She let out a heavy sigh and shrugged “That was your gift, by the way. So you can’t be mad because I didn’t spend anything on you.”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh and nodded her head “Fair enough. I still don’t believe you really didn’t get me something. I know you too well. And one of the boxes you claimed was from your assistant actually said Amazon so...”

 

Charlie gasped and folded her arms “Are you snooping?”

 

“Yeah” Santana shrugged casually. “You know it’s a thing I do.”

 

“Unbelievable. Just for that you don’t get your other gift.” Charlie huffed and folded her arms with a pout.

 

“That’s fine. I already got the only gift I wanted.” Santana smirked and gave Charlie a little nudge.

 

Charlie just rolled her eyes while fighting a smile. She was glad the kiss had been well received. She moved down in bed so she was actually laying down now then turned her head to look at Santana “You’re not going to try and fuck me then leave me now, are you?”

 

“Rude!” Santana laughed and reached out to push Charlie playfully. As she howled with laughter, Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head “You are lucky you’re crippled right now or I would kick you ass for that.”

 

“Uh huh, blame it on the leg” Charlie wiped a tear from her eye that had leaked out through her laughter. 

 

Santana grumbled as she settled against the pillow and grabbed the remote again. “You’re such a dick.”

 

“I learned from the best” Charlie smirked and moved her eyes to the tv now.

 

“Mhm” Santana huffed and pointed the remote at the tv. “What do you want to watch, dick head?”

 

Charlie shrugged and let out a yawn. Now that she was laying down and the nerves of kissing Santana were gone, she was realizing how worn out she was “Something funny.”

 

Santana glanced over and smiled at a sleepy looking Charlie. She looked adorable when she was tired. Slowly she looked back to the tv and scrolled through until she found an old rerun of Three’s Company and decided on that. It would serve as good background noise until they could drift off. 

 

It wasn’t long until Charlie’s breathing steadied and she was off to dream land. Santana rolled onto her side and let her eyes focus on Charlie’s sleeping face in the dull light from the tv. She watched her sleep for a few minutes before reaching out and pushing some hair from her face. She smiled very slightly and let out a happy sigh. It was hard for her to believe that after all they had been through that Charlie could still make Santana feel like a giddy teenager again. She wasn’t sure what it meant for them but at the moment she didn’t care. She was happy.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	9. Where will we be in nine months time?

Christmas morning had finally arrived and after a few phone calls from various parents, all the girls were finally awake. Santana stumbled out of her bedroom and toward the kitchen where she smelt coffee brewing. Her hair was sticking up in all directions, her eyes barely open, and yawns ripping through her lips every couple of seconds. After all these years she still wasn’t a morning person.

 

“Merry Christmas” Rachel said with a bright grin as she handed a mug of coffee to Santana. After living with her for a couple years she knew how to prepare her coffee and that if you wanted anything from her in the morning that coffee first was a key element. 

 

Santana mumbled something that was inaudible and not even really a word as she plopped down in a chair and put the mug to her lips. As the hot liquid filled her mouth then slid down her throat she let out a happy sigh. That was the good stuff.

 

Brittany came out of the bathroom and gave the girls in the kitchen a bright smile “Good morning, ladies! I didn’t wake you, did I?”

 

“Not at all” Rachel turned and offered Brittany some coffee, which she politely declined with a shake of her head.

 

“Good. I feel like you can hear everything in this loft. I had to pee in the middle of the night and I was afraid the toilet flush was going to wake everyone up.”

 

“You really can hear everything” Dana called from the couch bed where she was awake but hadn’t gotten up yet. “In fact I heard way too much last night.”

 

Rachel blushed and looked down at her feet.

 

“Stop being a pervert and listening” Quinn said with a shrug as she walked out of her bedroom now. She looked around and then to Santana “Is Charlie up yet?”

 

Santana shrugged and drank more coffee.

 

“Hold on, mom” Quinn said into the phone she had been holding then moved toward Santana’s room. She poked her head in and when she saw her sister doing up her brace, she smiled and walked in. “Hey, mom wants to talk to you.”

 

“Thanks” Charlie sat on the bed and reached back toward the phone.

 

Quinn nodded and handed the phone over then folded her arms as she watched her sister with her phone.

 

“You don’t need to babysit me” Charlie said with a laugh “I promise to stay sitting until I’m done.”

 

Quinn rolled her eyes at that “Fine. I will go get you some coffee then.”

 

“Thanks” Charlie waited until Quinn left before putting the phone to her ear.

 

“What, mom doesn’t want to talk to me?” Dana asked from where she was now leaning against the counter sipping coffee when Quinn came out of the room.

 

“She said she tried to call you but you didn’t answer.”

 

“Yeah. I was asleep.” Dana huffed.

 

“It’s not her fault. She is a few hours ahead of us.” 

 

“Where is she this time?” Brittany asked as she picked at a bagel now.

 

“Greece” Quinn said with a shrug, leaning over to kiss Rachel, before grabbing two mugs of coffee to make herself and Charlie some.

 

“I should totally marry a rich dude so I can travel around the globe” Santana mumbled, finally breaking her morning silence.

 

“You’ll be a rich surgeon soon enough” Rachel said with a smile.

 

“Dana” Charlie called from the room. A few seconds later, Charlie was poking her head out and holding up the phone. “Come get this, please. It is hard to be on crutches and hold a phone at the same time.”

 

Dana hurried over to grab the phone and put it to her ear. Charlie rolled her eyes and straightened on the crutches before making her way over to the table to join everyone else now. “Mom says she wishes we were in Greece with her.”

 

“Don’t we all” Santana mumbled again before noticing she was out of coffee. She frowned and handed her cup over to Rachel.

 

Quinn handed Charlie some coffee and pulled out the chair so she could sit and not have to balance on her crutches while she drank.

 

All the girls slipped into casual chit chat as Dana spoke to her mother. It was a few minutes before Dana finally rejoined the group and handed the phone to Quinn before reaching for her coffee again. A silence fell over the group as a few sipped coffee and they all looked at each other as if wanting to say something but not wanting to say it.

 

Finally Rachel said what no one else would “Okay! Who wants to open presents?”

 

This got a laugh and nods all around before they moved over to the tree in a group and all started to settle around it. There weren’t a huge amount of presents but enough that it looked like Christmas had exploded under the tree. 

 

Once they were all settled, Rachel grinned and looked at the entire group “Okay girls I just wanted to say-”

 

Dana and Santana groaned in unison. It was the same response to a Rachel Berry speech that they always gave.

 

Quinn used her foot to nudge at Dana and pointed firmly like a mother who was warning her kids to be quiet would.

 

“Anyway” Rachel rolled her eyes but put on a smile. “I just wanted to say that I am really happy to have all of you here. We haven’t been like this on Christmas in years and I just...” She shrugged and gave a shake of her head as she looked at each girl happily “You girls will always be my family. I just wanted to thank you for that.”

 

There were a few eye rolls, mostly from Dana and Santana, but they were done in good humor and the girls all moved to give Rachel a little hug before settling back in place. Once everyone was ready again, Rachel gave a clap of her hands then nodded at the girls before reaching for a gift “Alright, here we go!”

 

Soon wrapping paper and opened boxes were strewn about the floor. The girls all had a little pile near them that consisted of the things they had gotten. It was getting down to the bottom of the pile with only a few boxes left.

 

“Alright” Dana moved to reach under the tree now and pulled out a large flat box. It looked like it probably held matching shirts for the other girls with how long and flat it was. “This is from Britt and I to all you girls.”

 

“You cheaped and got us all a joint gift? You realize we all don’t live together, right?” Santana laughed softly to herself. How would they share something with Quinn at Yale and Charlie ending up where ever she was going to end up once she was healed.

 

“Trust us, this is something you can all share without effort.” Dana gave Brittany a smile then slid the box over to Quinn. “Just open it.”

 

“I hope you like it” Brittany said quickly. “We worked hard on it.”

 

“This is something you made?” Quinn glanced at the box curiously before handing it to Charlie “You open it.”

 

“No way” Charlie pushed the box to Santana with a shake of her head. “The last thing I opened that Dana had made was a stink bomb. I smelled like rotten eggs for a week.”

 

Dana snickered at the memory. That had been a great birthday gift.

 

“It won’t explode. I promise” Brittany gave a sweet smile.

 

“I’ll do it” Rachel grabbed the box from Santana, who had been eyeing it suspiciously, and set it on her lap. She untied the bow then slid the top off. There was a lot of gift wrap paper inside and Rachel dug around to find what was waiting for them. When she didn’t immediately find anything, she frowned, and looked up “Okay, seriously? Was this another box of farts?”

 

“No!” Dana laughed and pulled the box out of her hands. “I stopped doing that in like Junior year.” She looked down into the box and started digging around. When nothing was found, she frowned and looked up at Brittany “Babe, did you put it in there?”

 

Brittany smiled sheepishly and shook her head “I thought it would be funny to build the suspense when they couldn’t find anything and then do a big, exciting reveal!”

 

The other girls all looked at her blankly before Santana shrugged “B? We are all waiting here! I think you got the suspense thing down!”

 

Brittany giggled then reached into the pocket of her pajama bottoms that she wore and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She unfolded it and looked down at it with a loving smile before turning it around and showing the girls what was on the other side. 

 

A black and white picture stared back at the girls and they all leaned in to look at it. Santana cocked her head to the side with a confused look on her face “B, did you draw this? It kinda looks like-”

 

“A baby?” Rachel cut in, a grin sliding over her lips as she looked from the picture to Brittany and Dana.

 

“No way” Quinn laughed and took the picture to look at it more closely. Sure enough she could see the unmistakable little white blob in the middle of the black and gray around it. Her eyes fell on the print around the border of the picture and after reading Brittany’s name, the doctor’s name, and the date her face fell and she looked up “Wait, is this for real?”

 

“You’re pregnant?” Charlie’s eyes went wide and she stared at Brittany too.

 

Dana smiled softly and slid her arm around her wife. She gave a nod of her head then turned and kissed the side of Brittany’s head “We’ve been trying for a year or so. We didn’t want to tell anyone in case it never took. But...”

 

“It took” Brittany said excitedly and reached out to take the picture from Quinn. “I went in for a check up. We were going to try another insemination and the doctor said there was no need.”

 

“No flipping way” Quinn mumbled with a shake of her head.

 

“Holy shit” Santana let out a laugh of disbelief then looked over to Quinn. 

 

“This is fantastic” Charlie said with a smile. “I am so happy for you!”

 

“This is so great” Rachel squeaked through the tears that had broken through. She lunged at Brittany and Dana and wrapped her arms around them in an excited hug.

 

The rest of the girls joined in and soon there was a mass of giggles, arms, heads, and bodies all in a big blob of love.

 

Finally the girls pulled back and Dana straightened herself up before reaching over to put her hand on Brittany’s stomach “We’re pretty excited and we wanted to make sure you were all the first to know. Like Berry said, we’re all family.”

 

“As long as I don’t have to change a poopy diaper, I’m down” Santana said with a smirk.

 

“I’m gonna make sure there is only poop in the diaper every time I drop the baby off to you just for that” Dana said with a scowl.

 

A few of the girls laughed but Santana just shrugged. She would never admit it but she was kind of excited. She knew any baby born into this group would be taken care of and loved more than any baby on Earth. She couldn’t wait to meet the new little part of their group.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

After the excitement of the baby announcement died down the girls all settled in to enjoy the rest of the day. Charlie had made herself comfortable on the pull out couch bed because it was closer than Santana’s bed and instead of moving her Dana had just laid beside her and soon they were napping together. It was a rare sight and Brittany and Rachel both made sure to document it in as many pictures as possible.

 

Santana had kicked back in front of the tv and was enjoying one of the many run throughs of A Christmas Story while Quinn had set out to start cooking the dinner they would all share later. Brittany and Rachel had cleaned up all the wrapping paper and boxes then dove into excited ramblings about the baby. Rachel already wanted to make a mixed cd of all the best Broadway hits for Brittany to play to her stomach at night.

 

Soon just about everyone had dozed off into post-present opening naps. Even Quinn, after putting the ham in the oven, had sat down and fallen victim to exhaustion. Rachel was the only one that stayed awake. She was just too happy and excited to sleep. She loved the holidays, loved the girls, and couldn’t wait for all the adventures that would come with Brittany’s pregnancy.

 

Rachel found her way to the roof of the building so she could overlook the city around her. She liked to hear the sounds of the cabs below on the streets. The Empire State Building in the distance was lit up red and green. The air was crisp but not too incredibly cold. Maybe she was just used to the cold already. She loved New York City. She couldn’t imagine living her life anywhere but there. A smile came to her lips at the thought. She really had made it. All of her dreams had come true. She couldn’t think of a single thing she wanted. She really was the luckiest girl in the world.

 

“What are you doing up here?” Quinn’s voice broke through the peaceful silence of the rooftop and caused Rachel to jump. She spun around on the spot and put a hand to her heart before letting out a laugh. Quinn smiled softly and started over toward her “I didn’t mean to startle you. I woke up to check the ham and noticed you were gone.”

 

“Yeah” Rachel smiled and held her hand out toward her “Everyone else was all passed out and I am just too excited to sleep so I thought I’d come enjoy the view.”

 

Quinn nodded and moved to Rachel, taking her hand and giving her a playful tug until their bodies came together. “I can see why you like it” She leaned in and gently placed a kiss to her lips “Because all I see is beauty up here.”

 

“You sweet talker” Rachel rolled her eyes but let out a soft laugh. Quinn could be quite the romantic.

 

“Just stating the facts” Quinn smirked and leaned in to kiss her again. She then looked up at the city that was towering around them. She let Rachel move and turn in her arms so Rachel’s back was to her chest. Her arms wrapped around her more tightly and the two of them stood together taking in the scenery. It was starting to snow again lightly. It was like a perfect scene out of a movie.

 

“Isn’t this the best city in the world?” Rachel asked with a smile on her lips.

 

“It’s pretty great” Quinn nodded “But I think that is mostly because you’re here. You have a way of making everything around you seem better.”

 

Rachel smiled softly and just shrugged her shoulders against Quinn “You’re just a little biased. I am sure New Haven is fantastic. I’ve enjoyed it every time I’ve visited.”

 

“But you wouldn’t want to live there, would you?” Quinn asked softly.

 

Rachel turned around slightly and looked at Quinn with a bit of concern knitted on her face “I can’t live there, Quinn. Not right now. Why would I even consider it? I have the show here. Plus there’s Santana and now Charlie? Besides, you will be done with school in a year or so then you will be back here full time.”

 

“What if I wasn’t?” Quinn whispered.

 

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t you?” Rachel stepped out of Quinn’s arms completely and folded her own arms across her chest.

 

Quinn drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She watched her warm breath rise in a cloud through the cold air before she looked at Rachel. “I know I always said that once I was done with school I would come back here and find a job at some great firm and we could find a house and start our lives together. But-”

 

“But what?” Rachel shrugged and gave a shake of her head. “Did you change your mind?”

 

“No” Quinn shook her head quickly “Of course not. I still want to be with you, that’s all I want, you should know that by now. That’s why this is so hard.”

 

“What’s so hard, Quinn?” Rachel drew in a deep, shaky breath. She almost didn’t want Quinn to continue and shatter what had been a perfect life.

 

“I got a job offer for after I graduate” Quinn blurted out with a heavy sigh. “It’s in Hartford at one of the best firms in the entire nation. I would be an idiot to say no.”

 

Rachel blinked a few times and took a step backwards. She shook her head slowly and held up her hands to stop Quinn from coming closer “What? You want to move to Hartford?”

 

“I want to work surrounded by the best people I can. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. If I say no, I might never get a chance like this in my life again.” Quinn frowned and took a step toward Rachel.

 

“So you were just going to, what, tell me the day before you left?”

 

“No!” Quinn let out a heavy sigh. “Rachel you aren’t listening to me. Why do you think I brought this up now? I want to discuss this with you. I want to figure this out with you. That is why I am telling you now instead of waiting until I’m done with school.”

 

Rachel bit her bottom lip and turned around to look over the city again. She did this so she wouldn’t have to look at Quinn. She felt tears starting take over her eyes and she didn’t want to cry.

 

“Look” Quinn spoke softly “Rachel, we can figure this out. I mean, maybe I work there for a year and get a transfer to an associate out here. Maybe you take a year off from Broadway and come live with me out there. You can be a housewife and fine tune your singing and acting and return to the stage triumphantly.”

 

“Do you know how hard it is to get on Broadway? I can’t just walk away and expect to come back whenever I want. I’m still a no-name here. I don’t demand the respect it takes to live off just my name. I need credential and connections and recommendations.”

 

“You have an entire year still. You can build all that and more” Quinn let out a sigh and pushed her hands into the pockets of her coat. “Let people see you and love you and use the time to build relationships. That way when you come back people will be dying to work with you.”

 

“Do you think it’s that easy, Quinn?” Rachel spun around to face her now with a tear trickling down her cheek. 

 

“Do you think getting a job at a good firm, let alone one of the best, is easy, Rachel?” Quinn sighed with frustration. “You’ve gotten a chance to live out your dream. When is it my turn?”

 

“So I have to give up my dream for yours?” Rachel crossed her arms with a frown.

 

“No, of course not” Quinn sighed and brought her hand up to pinch at the bridge of her nose. “I just want you to consider putting me first for once.”

 

“For once?” Rachel huffed “Quinn I spent all of my high school career putting you first. I did everything for you. I was all about you and there were times it still wasn’t enough for you.”

 

“Rachel” Quinn shook her head. “That’s not what I meant. I know you put me first, okay? But this isn’t high school anymore. This is real life and I have a real chance to have a real career here.”

 

“It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind” Rachel shrugged. “What’s stopping you?”

 

“You” Quinn motioned with her hand to Rachel. “I hate not being with you every day. I thought once school was done I would get to come home to you every night and wake up next to you every day. I want to settle down with you and marry you and just be happy together.”

 

“So I have to sacrifice myself for that?” Rachel huffed. “Why do I have to give something up?”

 

“You don’t” Quinn resigned with a shake of her head. “Nevermind. I was stupid to think you’d even consider this. I’ll just get a job out here and sit in my office every day and wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t given up my dream for love.”

 

The way Quinn’s words hit Rachel was unexpected. Quinn, the girl Rachel fought with to just accept her feelings all through high school, was now saying she would pick those feelings over everything else in the world. That love was more important to her than anything else. Old Quinn would have run. Rachel blinked quickly and held up her hand as she called out to stop Quinn who was turning to leave “Wait.”

 

“What?” Quinn sighed softly.

 

“You’d really give up a dream job just because you love me?”

 

“I’d find a new dream job if it meant being with you” Quinn shrugged and turned to look at Rachel tenderly.

 

Rachel nodded slowly. She gave her a slight smile and took a few steps toward Quinn, almost afraid she would reject her. “We have a year to figure it out, right?”

 

Quinn nodded slightly “Yeah. I’m not even done with school yet. So we figure it out together. Maybe something else will come up and it will work for us even better but for now I would really like this to be our plan.”

 

Rachel gave a gentle nod and reached out to take Quinn’s hand “Let’s see what happens. I will look into what I need to get done if I want to take time off from Broadway then come back. I will just have to work extra hard.”

 

“You can do it. If anyone in the world can do it, it’s you” Quinn gave a tug to Rachel’s hand and pulled her until they were close together. 

 

Rachel smiled softly. Quinn had always been so supportive of her career and now it was her turn. “I will do it because I love you and one day it will be worth it.”

 

Quinn nodded slightly and leaned in and kissed at Rachel’s nose quickly “One day when I’m a powerful lawyer and you’re the go-to Broadway star and we’re married and living the happiest life possible. We can get there but it’s going to take some work.”

 

“I think we can do it” Rachel nodded and kissed at Quinn’s lips gently. She stared at her with a smile for a moment before she blinked and her face fell “Wait did you just say when we’re married?”

 

Quinn let out a soft laugh and nodded “I thought I might be able to slip that one in there without you noticing but, yeah, maybe one day.”

 

“We’ve never talked about marriage before” Rachel said softly.

 

Quinn just shrugged, smiling slightly “Is it so crazy? It’s been seven years.”

 

Rachel shook her head “It’s not crazy at all. Just surprising to hear you say it.”

 

Quinn reached up and pushed some hair out of Rachel’s eyes “Well now I’ve said it so maybe we can discuss it in a year or so?”

 

Rachel smiled a little wider and nodded quickly “I think a year or so will be the perfect time to discuss it.”

 

“Good” Quinn kissed her gently then gave Rachel’s hand a squeeze “Now, let’s go inside. I’m freezing and I don’t want the ham to burn.”

 

“That would be a disaster” Rachel said with a soft laugh and turned with Quinn to head inside. She was beaming now. She had never expected Quinn to even say the word marriage and now it was a possibility? No other gift given to her that day could compare to that one.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Christmas had been a great time for everyone but Dana and Brittany had to go home eventually so the other four girls had to celebrate the new year without them. It was alright, though. Rachel and Quinn had planned a date night before going down to Times Square and Santana had promised Charlie a movie night. It wasn’t going to be the most wild New Year’s Eve but she got to spend it with Charlie so she wasn’t complaining.

 

Santana glanced at the clock and noticed it was about an hour from midnight. She looked over to Charlie on the couch next to her and smiled “So I was thinking, if you can manage the stairs, maybe we could sit on the roof for the countdown to midnight. We can see a bunch of fireworks from up there.”

 

Charlie looked away from the movie she had been watching and offered a little smile “Are you trying to get me on the roof so you can finish what you started at my mom’s wedding? Because I am definitely not cleared for sex yet.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and tossed a pillow at Charlie’s head “Oh my god are you seriously never going to get over that?”

 

“Probably not” Charlie laughed.

 

“Great” Santana mumbled and reached for the popcorn. “No but really, do you want to sit up there? I know we can’t go to Times Square, which is a bummer because it’s your first New Year’s Eve in New York, but maybe we can at least see the fireworks and pretend we are in a mob of drunk people yelling and tooting on horns.”

 

Charlie smiled and gave her head a nod as she looked back to the tv “That sounds fun. You know how I hate drunk crowds so being able to see fireworks without actual drunk idiots around me is totally ideal.”

 

“Cool” Santana got up and went to the door and slipped on her boots. “I am going to go check out the stairs and make sure they aren’t too icy.”

 

“I’ll be here” Charlie gave a wave then pointed to her leg that was propped up as if Santana might have forgotten even though she was checking the stairs for that very reason.

 

It took Santana fifteen minutes or so but she finally returned to the loft with a shiver when she walked through the door. “Shit” She laughed and unzipped her coat “It is fucking cold out there. Are you sure you wanna do this?”

 

“I think I’ll be alright. We can take a blanket and use our body heat” Charlie sat up now and reached for her boots that were near the couch. “Just give me like a half hour to get my boots on and we will be all set” She said with a grunt as she tried to pull the boot onto her good foot.

 

“Here” Santana rolled her eyes and moved over to the couch to help out. She crouched down and gently started to push the boot onto Charlie’s sore leg. She kept her eyes moving from the task at hand to Charlie’s face to see if she was pushing too hard. There were a few winces but she didn’t complain and eventually Santana got the boot on and laced it up.

 

“I really should just stop wearing a boot on that foot. I should just wear like fifty pairs of socks to keep my toes warm while I’m out and about.” Charlie slid to the edge of the couch and reached for her crutches.

 

“I doubt fifty pairs would actually even fit” Santana laughed and stood up. She offered her hand to help Charlie up and once she was on her foot, she held her up until she was balanced on her crutches. “Alright” Santana said with a little smile “Are we ready?”

 

“Grab the blanket” Charlie pointed to the one she had been under most of the night before heading to the door. She waited until Santana had the blanket and caught up to her at the door before slowly moving out into the hallway and starting toward the roof stairs. She was a bit nervous but she trusted that Santana had cleared out any ice that might cause a problem.

 

It was slow going but Charlie was able to make it up the stairs without any real problems. Once she was out of the stairs and onto the rooftop, she turned and waited for Santana to lead the way. “You just wanted to follow me so you could put your hand on my ass the whole time, huh?”

 

“You caught me” Santana laughed and moved past Charlie. “I had my hand there just in case you lost your balance.”

 

“Mhm” Charlie teased and followed Santana across the roof. There were some chairs set up and she looked around a bit “Wow this view is fantastic. Do you come up there a lot?”

 

“Rachel does” Santana nodded and motioned for Charlie to sit down. She had brushed off the snow from the chairs and hoped their asses wouldn’t get too cold. “I only come up here every now and then. I don’t have a good track records with roofs, if you recall.”

 

“I have no idea what you mean. Remind me?” Charlie smirked and slowly lowered herself onto the chair. She propped her leg up on the ledge around the roof and set her crutches to the side.

 

“Yeah. No” Santana shook her head and sat down next to Charlie. “I try my best to not re-live that night. Ever.”

 

Charlie smiled and reached for the blanket as Santana started to unfold it and spread it over the two of them. “I told you I forgave you, right? I just like teasing you.”

 

“I know” Santana nodded and tucked the blanket around her side before smoothing it out over both their legs, making sure Charlie was well covered. “Doesn’t mean I like to think about it.”

 

“Fair enough. I guess I could stop teasing you” Charlie reached out and took Santana’s hand under the blanket and held it gently.

 

“You’re fine” Santana nodded and gave a squeeze to Charlie’s hand. She was a little surprised at the gesture but she liked it so she would enjoy it in silence.

 

Charlie just nodded and slowly looked out over the city. It was a spectacular view. She could definitely get used to the city. She had thought she might never be able to live in a big city because it was so far away from nature and everything beautiful but looking around at the view now she could see how much beauty there was to behold.

 

Santana glanced at the clock again and smiled. “We have like two minutes. Do you have a resolution in mind?”

 

“To walk again” Charlie mumbled with a laugh. She stared at Santana with a smile for a moment before looking away and back over the city “Get back to enjoying the little things in life and stop taking them for granted.” She shrugged and looked back at Santana “How about you?”

 

Santana shrugged and glanced at Charlie “I want to study over the summer so I can get ahead and maybe graduate early.” She gave Charlie’s hand a soft squeeze and smiled “Not thinking too much. I tend to get into my head way too deep when I don’t need to.”

 

Charlie nodded slightly. She knew that Santana lived inside her head. It was why she had been so mean in high school. It was why they had fought so much. Santana was the type of person that thought too much instead of working out what was happening. She tried to solve it before taking any action. She had to admit she had seen Santana doing that less and less but continuing to work on that was always good. “I like that one.”

 

“Me too” Santana smiled as her eyes fixed on Charlie. She definitely hoped she could stick to that.

 

In the distance the sound of people counting down suddenly rose up to the roof. They weren’t really sure where it was coming from since they weren’t anywhere near Times Square, but it was heard clear as day anyway. Must have been a huge party nearby.

 

Santana looked at Charlie and nodded, starting to count down with the mysterious crowd “Eight. Seven. Six.” She gave Charlie’s hand a squeeze with each number.

 

Charlie glanced over at Santana with a smile. Their eyes met and she turned a little in her chair to hold her gaze now “Five. Four. Three.” In that moment she knew there was no one else in the world she wanted to be ringing in a new year with.

 

“Two. One.” They both said together. When midnight hit the crowd started to cheer and in the distance fireworks went off. Santana gave Charlie’s hand another squeeze and she smiled softly “Happy New Year, Chuck. Hope it’s a good one for you.”

 

“You too, San” Charlie returned the squeeze. Even though they had gone to the roof to watch the fireworks, neither of them were watching them. They were both just staring into the other’s eyes. Neither of them seemed to want to look at anything else but the girl they were sharing the rooftop with.

 

Without realizing it, Santana licked over her lips. She knew this was such a complicated situation and though Charlie had kissed her a few nights before Christmas, they hadn’t even talked about that. She had no idea where they stood. But in this moment, she didn’t care. Before she could stop herself she was leaning over the arm of her chair and capturing Charlie’s lips in a gentle kiss.

 

Charlie’s heart fluttered when she saw Santana moving toward her. It was like it happened in slow motion but she did nothing to stop it. She just waited. She had been wanting to kiss Santana again since the moment they had kissed before Christmas but Santana had been avoiding talking about it so Charlie just waited. She knew eventually Santana would say or do something. She was glad she had settled on the doing part. Charlie much preferred another kiss over talking about what it all meant.

 

Santana let the kiss linger for a few moments. A warmth spread through her body starting at her lips and reaching to her toes. A hand lifted to touch at Charlie’s cheek to hold her there as they both enjoyed the kiss.

 

Charlie smiled against the kiss. No one had ever kissed her the way Santana had. Even if it was a gentle kiss like this one there was still so much passion behind it. Santana could make her toes curl with something as simple as a kiss like this. She had missed it so much.

 

Finally when Santana pulled back she let out a soft laugh and licked at her lips. Her eyes opened and she gently reached up to push some of Charlie’s hair behind her ear before looking into her eyes “Call me a sucker for tradition but I guess I just couldn’t pass up the old New Year’s kiss.”

 

“Whatever” Charlie let out a soft laugh. “You know you’ve been thinking about kissing me for like a week.”

 

Santana shrugged and rolled her eyes “Do you have to ruin everything? You used to at least pretend to believe my romantic excuses.”

 

Charlie pouted a little and reached out to take Santana’s hand again “I’m sorry. Somewhere I stopped swooning and started drowning everything in sarcasm.” She thought about what she had said and laughed “I turned into you.”

 

“And I turned into you” Santana smiled and returned the soft laugh. “Can you imagine?”

 

“Yeah” Charlie nodded. “I think it just goes to show how alike we really are. We just need to find the moment where we are the exact same version. I think that might help us out a little bit.”

 

“Help us what?” Santana asked softly, her eyebrows perking with intrigue.

 

Charlie shrugged and looked away “I don’t know. Help us just be able to get along without bickering so much.”

 

“Do you really mean to tell me you don’t live to argue with me?”

 

Charlie thought for a moment before laughing “I guess it is kind of fun. It can be exhausting though. I mean, there are times to bicker and there are times where we just need to talk it out like adults.”

 

“Agreed” Santana said with a little nod. 

 

“Maybe we should work on that?” Charlie said softly as if Santana might disagree to that.

 

Santana nodded and stood up now. She leaned down to grab the crutches then held them out for Charlie “How about we work on getting inside for now? My ass is numb.”

 

“Oh good I thought I had just taken too many pain pills” Charlie joked as she got to her feet and leaned on the crutches. They both made their way toward the steps again and Santana let Charlie go first again. She watched every step she took and once they were back to the loft, Santana let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. She slid the door open for Charlie then followed her in. She was glad they were both safe and out of the cold.

 

“So what now?” Charlie asked after prying off her boot then using her good foot to try and push the boot off her sore leg.

 

“I guess we take it slow” Santana shrugged and moved over to help Charlie with the boot. “I mean it kind of sounds like maybe we both want to give this another go, right?” She perked an eyebrow at Charlie in silent questioning of whether she was reading her right or not. “I say we just go slow, work on communicating when it matters, and go from there?”

 

Charlie bit her lip to hid her laughter. She waited for Santana to finish then let out a soft laugh and shook her head “That sounds nice and all but I was actually kind of asking what’s next for the night? Another movie or do you want to call it a night?”

 

“Oh” Santana blushed brightly and looked away. She just focused on untying the boot and when she finally got it off, she set it aside then stood up. She didn’t look at Charlie and just sat next to her. “Well that’s up to you. You took your pain pills. How long do you have left in you?”

 

Charlie frowned when she noticed Santana not looking at her. She reached over and put her hand on her leg and gave it a soft squeeze “Hey” She dipped her head and tried to get Santana’s eyes to look at her. After a few more squeeze and a shake of her leg, Santana finally sighed and looked up at her with a frown. Charlie offered a tender smile and nodded “I liked how that sounded. I think taking it slow and communicating is a great idea.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes “You’re just saying that because I just made an ass of myself. I know you think I came to this conclusion that I want to be with you because of your accident. I don’t blame you for having reservations.”

 

“Hey” Charlie said more firmly. “Look at me. Do I look unsure? Besides, I was the one that kissed you first, remember?”

 

Santana rolled her eyes again but gave in and smiled. She reached out and put a hand over Charlie’s before nodding. “Are you sure?”

 

“Of course” Charlie whispered lightly. “I couldn’t do this without you. It’s opened my eyes to a lot of things and one of those things is just how much I don’t want to be without you any longer. So if we go slow, then so be it. That is fine. Actually, it’s perfect.”

 

Santana smiled softly and leaned over to kiss at her lips just once. She gave a nod then scooted closer to Charlie now that she didn’t feel like an idiot. “Well if you insist” She teased and slid her arm around Charlie. She was leaning in against her and once she was comfortable, she glanced at the tv “How about one more movie and then we can go to bed?”

 

Charlie nodded and moved her arm around Santana’s waist. She pulled just enough that Santana settled against her. She smiled down at her before reaching for the remote and lifting it to point at the tv “Sounds like the perfect way to start the new year.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	10. Ten thousand times sorry

The crowd was electric as midnight neared. It was palpable how excited the millions of people packed into Times Square were to countdown and start a new year. Rachel was practically jumping up and down in anticipation. This was by far her favorite tradition that she and Quinn shared together. She looked over at Quinn who was beaming just as brightly as she was and took her hand. “I love this so much.”

 

Quinn glanced over and nodded slightly “How many years is this now?”

 

“Six” Rachel grinned. “I can’t wait until it’s twenty!”

 

Quinn let out a laugh and slid her arm around Rachel tightly “I guess we can come back here every year even if we are living in Hartford.”

 

Rachel turned and gave her a little pout “I thought we weren’t going to talk about that until it was closer.”

 

“I know. It’s just-” Quinn was cut off by the sudden roar of the crowd. The ball that hung high above the square had started it’s slow decent and the countdown had begun. The crowd all started to vibrate with each number that passed.

 

“59, 58, 57”

 

Rachel had turned to join in on the countdown and Quinn reached over to take her hand “Rachel, listen.”

 

“Quinn! It’s almost time!”

 

“53, 52, 51!”

 

“Rachel” Quinn reached out and grabbed her shoulders lightly. She gave her a turn so they were facing each other. “Rachel, I know I said we weren’t going to talk about it but I can’t stop thinking about it. There are so many questions.”

 

“44, 43, 42.”

 

“Quinn, this can wait” Rachel frowned and motioned to the ball. 

 

“It’s can’t wait!” Quinn shook her head. With each word she said she had to scream a little louder because of the excitement that was bubbling over as midnight grew closer and closer.

 

“35, 34, 33.”

 

“Rachel, we have a lot to figure out and it’s eating me alive not knowing what’s going to happen. Are we gonna be living apart? Together? Here? In Hartford?” Quinn frowned and put a hand on Rachel’s face. “Doesn’t it keep you up at night?”

 

“A little, but we still have a year, Quinn. We can figure it out” Rachel smiled very softly and brushed some of Quinn’s hair out of her face. “You worry too much. Can’t we just enjoy the night and think about this in the morning?”

 

“21, 20, 19.”

 

“I can’t wait” Quinn shook her head quickly. “Listen, there are a lot of questions that are facing us in the next year and some of them we won’t know the answer to until the time comes to deal with them. But there’s one question that I can’t go another day not knowing the answer to.”

 

“Quinn, please-”

 

“11, 10, 9”

 

Quinn stepped back from Rachel a bit and gave her a smile “Please, just answer me one question and I’ll leave you alone.”

 

“7, 6, 5.”

 

Quinn reached into her pocket and pulled out a small box. She lowered herself down to a single knee and smiled as she looked up at Rachel. “Rachel, will you do me the honor of finally becoming my wife?”

 

“3, 2, 1.”

 

“Happy New Year!”

 

As the crowd cheered and music erupted around the square, Rachel stood there with her hand over her mouth. The shock was evident as she stared down at Quinn, completely speechless. People around them were jumping and cheering and kissing but Rachel was too stunned to move.

 

Quinn let out a laugh and stood up to avoid being trampled by the rambunctious crowd. She moved over to Rachel and slid her arms around her tightly “You don’t have to say anything. I think I already know the answer.”

 

When Quinn wrapped her arms around her, it seemed to shake Rachel out of her shock. She blinked and finally smiled. She looked up at Quinn now and nodded quickly “Of course! Quinn, my answer is of course. You didn’t even have to ask. You know all I want is you.”

 

“I figured” Quinn laughed softly and gave a shrug “I thought it would be polite to ask.” She grinned and stepped back just enough to lift the box between them again. She removed the ring gently and offered it to Rachel now “I really can’t wait to see it on you.”

 

Rachel gave an excited squeak and pulled off her left glove. She was beaming widely as she held up her hand and waited for Quinn to slide the ring on. She felt like her heart might explode as the ring was slid into place. She held up her hand to inspect it once it was settled and her smile grew even more “Oh Quinn, it’s stunning.”

 

“One of a kind” Quinn said with a nod “Just like you.” She pulled Rachel into her again and this time lifted her hand to cup at her cheek “I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too” Rachel nodded before they both leaned in and finally let their lips touch. For the first time that year, and as fiances, they kissed and just like the new year it felt all brand new.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Rachel quietly slid the door to the loft open so as not to make too much noise. It was after two in the morning and she was sure Santana and Charlie were long gone into dream land. She put a finger to her lips to remind Quinn to be quiet as they entered the loft. She watched Quinn come in and shut the door before turning now to head for the bedroom. That’s when she saw something out of the corner of her eyes and she froze in the middle of the kitchen.

 

A smile came to her lips and she pointed to the couch, fighting off a giggle. “Aww look how cute.”

 

“Don’t wake them” Quinn whispered softly.

 

“I have to” Rachel nodded. “That couch is an awful place to sleep and they are both going to be sore in the morning.”

 

Quinn rolled her eyes but gave a nod “Yeah, alright. But don’t be too long. I am going to go get in bed.”

 

“Okay” Rachel turned and kissed her softly. She watched Quinn leave then moved over to the couch. Charlie was half sitting up and Santana was laying along the couch with her head on Charlie’s lap. Rachel bit her lip and almost hated the idea of waking them. They just looked so cute.

 

“Santana” Rachel whispered as she reached out and gently gave a nudge to her leg. She didn’t want to startle them both awake and cause Charlie to jolt and hurt herself so hopefully she could get Santana up first. “Santana” Rachel sang out a little louder and shook her a little harder.

 

Santana turned over, wrapped her arms around Charlie’s waist, and went right back to sleep.

 

Rachel let out a sigh and frowned. She moved over to her head now and gave her hair a little tug “Santana, get up. You need to go to bed.”

 

Santana sat up like a shot when Rachel tugged on her hair. She swung her arm around quickly in the direction of the tug but came up empty because Rachel had expected it and jumped backwards quickly. Santana blinked and looked around then reached back and rubbed at her head “Ow, what the Hell?”

 

“Shhh” Rachel hushed her quickly and glanced at Charlie. “I’m sorry. It’s me. I just needed to wake you up. How is it possible that you are such a heavy sleeper?”

 

When Santana realized it was Rachel and not an intruder, she groaned and settled down on the couch. “What do you want? What time is it?”

 

“After two. Quinn and I just got home” Rachel smiled and sat on the coffee table across from Santana now. “I saw you two sleeping and I remember all the times I’ve slept out here and just how sore I was in the morning so I thought I’d do you a favor.”

 

“Thanks” Santana yawned blandly and fought letting her eyes close. She was just so tired.

 

“So” Rachel grinned and looked at Charlie, then to Santana, and shrugged “A little snuggling, huh?”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and shook her head “It’s whatever.”

 

“Whatever?” Rachel perked up a bit. “Whatever means there is something! If there was nothing you would have said nothing.”

 

“I meant nothing” Santana waved her off. “Look, I’m half asleep. So can you just help me get her into bed and let me finish sleeping? You know how grumpy I get in the morning.”

 

“Oh come on, spoil sport” Rachel pouted playfully and batted her eyes sweetly.

 

Santana rolled her eyes again then looked over at Charlie. She gave a little smile as the events of the night replayed in her mind. She then looked at Rachel and sighed, letting out a little laugh “We had, I don’t know, a mutual breakthrough or whatever on the roof tonight. We might have kissed.”

 

“Might have?” Rachel smirked slightly and folded her arms across her chest.

 

Santana rolled her eyes once more and stood up “Can we please just talk about this in the morning?” She moved over to Charlie’s head and gently started to stroke her hair before whispering into her ear “Charlie, time to go to bed.”

 

“Fine” Rachel shrugged and stood up too. She moved to grab the crutches for Charlie while Santana woke her up. By the time she reached the couch, Charlie was sitting up groggily and looked around a bit confused. She held the crutches out and waited for Charlie to get to her feet. 

 

“There we go” Santana whispered softly and helped ease her to her feet. “Just a few feet and we will be in the nice big bed and you can go back to sleep.” She watched Charlie slide the crutches under her arms and grumble as she turned and start toward the room. When she turned, Rachel’s hand slid to her back and rubbed it gently and that was when Santana noticed the ring. Her jaw dropped and when her eyes caught Rachel’s, she pointed to her hand.

 

Rachel bit her lip and lifted her other hand to her mouth to keep Santana quiet as they guided Charlie to Santana’s bedroom. She was grinning widely as the diamond sparkled every time Charlie moved. They slowly moved into the bedroom and helped her under the covers. Once she was settled, Santana turned and headed out of the room, tugging Rachel behind her.

 

“What is that?” Santana whispered as soon as they were out of the room. She had grabbed Rachel’s hand and lifted it between them so they both could see.

 

Rachel bit her lip and just smiled. She shrugged and eyed the ring before looking back to Santana “It just happened. She was going on about Hartford again and the ball started dropping and, I don’t know, she just pulled it out!”

 

“Holy shit” Santana let out a laugh. “I can’t believe it. Quinn finally proposed.”

 

“I know, right?” Rachel gave a happy sigh and dropped her hand finally. “Who would have thought? Just a week ago she was talking about marriage for the first time even and now she proposes? It’s crazy.”

 

“Please” Santana rolled her eyes with a smile “She’s been carrying that ring around since you two got back together the first year of college. She just couldn’t grow a pair and ask you.”

 

“Wait. You knew?”

 

“Of course I knew.” Santana laughed softly. “Then I forgot because she took so damn long to ask you.”

 

“I was totally surprised. We never talked about marriage. We avoided it like the plague, actually. I had no idea she had actually been considering it for years.”

 

“She avoided it because she was afraid you’d tell her not until you win your first Tony or something like that” Santana gave an amused smirk.

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh and shook her head “Obviously that is not the case. I can’t wait to win a Tony, of course, but I’m not going to put my life on hold for it.”

 

Santana gave a little nod and motioned with her chin toward the bedroom where Quinn was probably asleep “Think about what you just said the next time she wants to talk about Hartford.”

 

“You know about Hartford?” Rachel looked surprised at that. She didn’t know Quinn had told anyone else.

 

“You and I aren’t the only close ones in this loft” Santana shrugged and reached for the sheet that served as the door to her room and pulled it to the side. “Happy New Year, Rach. Now go get some sleep.”

 

Rachel nodded and watched Santana slip into her bedroom before she turned and looked at her own sheet-walled room. A smile slowly came to her lips and she lifted her hand to look at her ring. She bit at her lip and let out a soft sigh. Santana was right. She hated when Santana was right but this time she was really right. She couldn’t put her life on hold. Life would happen with or without her and she knew now more than ever that she wanted it to happen with Quinn and as long as she had her then anything else that happened would be a bonus.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. 

 

Santana liked walking Charlie to her physical therapy. The office was near her lab building so she could spend the time getting lab hours while Charlie went through therapy. Plus with the snow and ice still all over the sidewalks she wanted to be there just in case Charlie slipped. Santana had only agreed to let Charlie stop having the therapist come to her if she let Santana walk her to therapy to ensure she got there safely.

 

Today was sunny, even though still chilly, and the walk had been pleasant. After the therapy had ended, Charlie had talked Santana into taking a walk to Central Park. Since Charlie was usually too tired to want to go anywhere but home, Santana took the opportunity to spend time with her outside the loft and gladly obliged.

 

“So you heard about Quinn finally popping the question to Rachel, right?” Santana asked with a laugh as she sat on a bench next to Charlie. The park was pretty busy. It seemed most people had seen the sun that morning and decided to enjoy the nice day as well.

 

Charlie nodded a bit, smiling softly “It’s about time. I have no idea what she was so afraid of. As if Rachel would say no.”

 

Santana shrugged and gave her a smile “You and I both know those two have gone back and forth in their relationship enough times to give anyone pause. I mean how long did it take for Quinn to let herself actually date Rachel?”

 

Charlie thought about it and nodded “Yeah, I guess. Quinn has kind of always been an over thinker. She took the whole think before you act advice a little too seriously.”

 

“No shit” Santana laughed softly. Quinn was overly cautious. She didn’t do anything without thinking about it, considering all options, thinking about it again, and then waiting just in case she changed her mind. She was not spontaneous at all. Did that mean all her ideas worked? No. But at least they were really well thought out.

 

“Do you think they’re gonna actually get married? Or do you think between the two of them and their pros and cons lists, their perfectionist ways, and wanting the timing to be just right that they will just go to the grave being engaged?”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh and shook her head in amusement “If they are married before they are eighty I will definitely be shocked. Which, I guess, means they are kind of perfect for each other, huh? The fact that neither of them are going to sacrifice perfection just for the sake of being married.”

 

“It’s kind of romantic, actually” Charlie smiled and shrugged. She had always admired Rachel and Quinn. They were the two that had been most responsible, and reasonable, in their relationship. Then again, Dana and Brittany were the only couple to have never broken up over the years. Maybe they were the ones that had it right.

 

Charlie was lost in thought about it when Santana suddenly sprang to her feet. She had seen a football flying right in their direction and quickly jumped to catch it so that it wouldn’t hit Charlie. Her eyes went wide as she looked down at the ball and slowly she turned to look at Charlie “Shit that came out of no where. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

 

“No” Charlie said with a laugh, rubbing her leg with a smile “You’re good. I didn’t even feel you get up, really. Thanks for looking out for me.”

 

“Yeah. It was a reflex” Santana laughed and looked down at the ball again. She looked up to find the owner of it and saw a big lug head coming her way. Of course it was some over grown jock that couldn’t let his college days go.

 

“Sorry about that” He said with a little dopey smirk on his lips, holding his hand out to receive the ball back from Santana.

 

“You should be a little more careful, man. There are kids and old people around here.” Santana motioned around them and gave a shake of her head. “You almost nailed my hurt friend here.” She pointed to Charlie’s brace clad leg and looked back at him. “So watch it.”

 

“My bad” He said honestly then peeked around Santana. He gave a wave to Charlie and smiled “Sorry.” When Charlie looked up, his face twisted a bit and he straightened up “Hey, do I know you?”

 

“Don’t think so” Charlie said quickly and shook her head. She looked away and down at her feet.

 

“No, I think I do. You have the most familiar looking eyes.”

 

“Sorry, man” Charlie rubbed her leg to keep her eyes off of him. “I think I’d remember you.”

 

He thought about it for a moment then looked at Santana. He reached out for his ball and once she had finally handed it over he gave her a smile. “Sorry again. Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

 

“Yeah, wrong tree buddy” Santana rolled her eyes and crossed her arms across her chest.

 

“I’m just asking. No need to be rude.”

 

“Not being rude” Santana glanced over her shoulder and saw how uncomfortable Charlie seemed so she was doing her best to get the guy to go away. “Just saving you some time. You’re not her type.”

 

“Who said anything about being her type? Jesus I was trying to see if I knew her. She looks so familiar...” He glanced at her again then nodded “I think I went to college with her.”

 

Santana arched an eyebrow and looked back at Charlie. “Chuck, will you look at this guy for like five seconds and tell him if you know him? I have a feeling he’s not leaving until you do.”

 

Charlie’s eyes shifted up and she shook her head quickly “I told you I didn’t know him.”

 

Santana arched an eyebrow at the quick response. The way she was avoiding looking at him now made her think she actually did know him but didn’t want to admit it. It must have been for good reason so Santana just shrugged and turned to look at the dude “Sorry man, she said no.”

 

“Chuck?” The guy perked an eyebrow. “As in Charlie?” He smiled widely and nodded “I knew it. Charlie Fabray. We did go to school together. Don’t you remember we-”

 

“Go away!” Charlie said quickly, her eyes shifted from him to Santana then back to her feet. “I don’t remember you.”

 

“Ouch” He put a hand to his heart and faked being hurt. “It’s me, Seth? Junior year?”

 

Charlie bit the inside of her cheeks to keep herself from yelling at him now. She wanted him to leave and she wanted him to leave now. She looked up at him slowly and gave him a pleading look “Please just go away.”

 

“Charlie?” Santana perked an eyebrow and turned to look at her now. “What is it? You want me to get rid of him?”

 

“It’s fine” Charlie whispered softly. “I just don’t know who he is.”

 

“That’s a lie” Seth frowned slightly. “We had English together. We were in a study group. You asked me to come over one night and help you figure out an essay topic. We ended up-”

 

“Seth” Charlie growled and gave him a piercing glare. Her eyes then softened and she looked at Santana. There was the unmistakable glint of guilt in her eyes. She sighed and looked at her feet. “Fine, okay. Now will you please go away? I’m sorry about that.”

 

“I’m not” Seth said with a smirk. “It’s so weird we ran into each other. We should get coffee and catch up.”

 

“I can’t, I’m sorry” Charlie shook her head.

 

“Why not?” Seth frowned again. “You got a boyfriend or something?”

 

“No” Charlie looked up at him, her eyes narrowing a bit, trying to get him to just take the hint and leave. “I’m just not interested. Sorry.”

 

“Oh come on” Seth shrugged and gave her a little smile. “We had fun before.”

 

“No we didn’t” Charlie whispered softly.

 

“Come on. It’s one coffee.”

 

“Hey” Santana stepped between them now, having been standing back to let them talk. She wasn’t Charlie’s mother, she didn’t have to regulate who she talked to. But now it looked like Charlie was done and this guy wasn’t getting that. She put a hand on his shoulder and nudged just enough to send the message “She said no, man. Just take it at that.”

 

“Who are you, her mother?” He growled and stepped back a bit.

 

“No but I am her friend with a bit of a temper so you better just step back. No means no.”

 

“All I did was ask her out to coffee.”

 

“And she said no” Santana folded her arms now.

 

“It’s not like I asked her to study as a cover to jump my bones out of nowhere” He huffed and motioned to Charlie.

 

Santana blinked. She stared at him for a moment then slowly turned to look at Charlie who was looking at the ground again. She looked between the two of them a few times then turned to Charlie and pointed over her shoulder “You have got to be kidding me right now.”

 

“I’m sorry, Santana. I was trying to get him to just leave.”

 

“You lied?” Santana shook her head. “I can’t even handle you right now.”

 

“Santana” Charlie sighed and looked up finally, her face drooping into a complete frown. “I’m sorry. Yes, I know him and I lied. But I didn’t want this to happen.” She motioned between them, indicating the obvious hurt feelings Santana was now experiencing.

 

“I’m sorry but what’s going on?” Seth broke in and looked at the girls.

 

“Please just go away, Seth” Charlie whispered softly.

 

“You are such a cunt” Seth shook his head with a sigh. “You use me, you never call me, and now you are just blowing me off when I am trying to be nice?”

 

“Watch your mouth” Santana hissed and turned around to face him now with a fire in her eyes.

 

“Fuck off. She is a cunt. She just fucks a guy and never calls him again? Then acts like she doesn’t even know him? It takes a special kind of bitch to do that.”

 

“And if you don’t watch your fucking mouth you are going to taste another special kind of bitch’s fist when I shove it down your throat.” Santana’s fist balled up and she was fighting the urge to swing.

 

“Santana, don’t” Charlie pleaded, reaching up to try and calm her.

 

“You think I’m afraid of you?” Seth puffed out his chest and let out a laugh. He was easily twice her size and completely amused at the idea of her thinking she could take him on.

 

“You should be” Santana said firmly. “Now just walk away. I can assure you that whatever you two shared was definitely a one time thing. Yeah, man, it sucks because being tossed aside by a girl is like the worst feeling in the world but, you know, life goes on. Go find someone else.”

 

“Are you like her girlfriend or something?” Seth huffed out a laugh.

 

Though Santana didn’t say yes because, well, she wasn’t technically, her eyes shifted a bit and Seth noticed. His jaw dropped and he looked passed her to Charlie “Ah man, you’re a dyke?”

 

“I said watch your mouth!” Santana growled and stepped up between them bringing herself just a few inches away from him.

 

“What are you gonna do about it, dyke? You gonna hit me?” Seth’s eyes glanced over Santana’s form and he smirked. “I’d like to see you try.”

 

Santana acted before she thought. Her emotions had been boiling over since the moment she had discovered this was the guy Charlie had cheated on her with. This big, goofy looking, jock block meat head. Her rage had been building and with the last of his words it boiled over. Her arm cocked back and her first flew forward. She connected with his face, square in the nose.

 

Seth tumbled backwards and slipped on the snow. He fell onto his back into the fresh powder with a loud thud. When he sat up and realized what had happened, he lifted his hand to his nose and was greeted with bright red blood. He covered his nose and looked up at Santana with a scowl “You bitch!”

 

Santana stood with a glare on her face and her chest puffed up. She kind of looked like a superhero who had just vanquished the bad guy. She pointed to the side and shook her head “I recommend you getting the Hell out of here.”

 

He opened his mouth to say something then stopped and just shook his head. He got to his feet and lumbered away, leaving dots of red blood in the snow as he went.

 

Santana watched him leave and once he was out of sight, she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding, and turned around to look at Charlie. She grimaced and shook out her hand slowly “Holy fuck punching someone really hurts.”

 

Charlie frowned and reached up from where she sat “Santana, are you okay? I am so sorry.”

 

“Save it” Santana mumbled and grabbed at her hand. She rubbed it softly then looked up at Charlie with a frown. “Can we just go home?”

 

“You have to let me explain” Charlie whispered softly.

 

“Explain what?” Santana shrugged angrily as she grabbed Charlie’s crutches and handed them over to her. “That he was the guy you fucked? That you knew him and he wasn’t actually some random dude? That you pretended not to know him just now because you were ashamed?”

 

“No because I didn’t want you to find out. Look what just happened?” Charlie motioned to the bloody snow as she stood with her crutches now. “You didn’t need to ever meet him. You didn’t need to ever put a face to him. And now what? Now you know and you feel like shit and, once again, it’s all my fault. I will never stop hurting you because of this, Santana. Do you blame me for trying to do whatever it takes to prevent just the slightest bit of pain?”

 

Santana looked away and shook her head. She sighed softly and brought her throbbing fist into her other hand. She cupped it and let out a little grunt. She would not be able to throw a stitch in lab for a few days. Good thing she had gone earlier that day.

 

Charlie let out a heavy sigh and reached out to touch Santana’s arm. “I’m sorry and once again that doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like the word sorry has lost all meaning. I wasn’t trying to hurt you, okay? But I am sorry I lied about knowing him.”

 

Santana just shrugged and rubbed at her knuckles. “I’m not....mad” She whispered softly. “I mean, this will never be something that goes away. It is a truth between you and I now. But we have both agreed to keep it in the past and move forward. It is something we have accepted and gone forward from. But...” She shook her head and looked at Charlie now “Yeah putting a name and a face to it just now sucked. I couldn’t hold back. It was like three years of anger and hurt just kind of got taken out on his face.”

 

Charlie nodded and looped her hand around Santana’s arm. She pulled a few times until Santana finally gave in and came a little closer. Charlie leaned into her on her crutches which allowed her to wrap her arm around Santana’s waist now gently. “And that is the only reason I am not giving you a lecture about how violence doesn’t solve anything. Maybe you needed to punch his face in. Maybe it was the most therapeutic thing you could have done.”

 

“It did feel kinda good” Santana admitted with a little smile coming to her lips. She looked down at where Charlie leaned into her and slid her arm around her waist as well. She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh “Just don’t lie to me again. If I ask a question or something like that comes up again, don’t lie. If we are going to do this...” She motioned between them two of them “whatever this is, we need to be honest. Don’t be afraid to hurt me with honesty. I can handle the truth. What I can’t handle is thinking you are lying again.”

 

Charlie nodded quickly and and lifted a hand to her heart “I promise. I know I need to build your trust again. I was just trying to protect you but, you’re right, protecting your feelings isn’t going to get us anywhere. If we can’t work through the truth then we can’t work at all.”

 

Santana nodded and placed a small kiss to the top of Charlie’s head before patting her back. “Now let’s get home before I go all incredible Hulk on someone else.”

 

Charlie let out a soft laugh and straightened up on her crutches now. She started ahead of Santana because she knew the girl liked to watch her in case she saw her slipping on something. 

 

“So how is your therapy going anyway?” Santana asked as she followed Charlie along the sidewalk.

 

“Good” Charlie nodded slightly. “She says I’m right on schedule to try walking without crutches in March. She is a little concerned about my pain, though.”

 

“What does she think is causing it?” Santana asked softly. She knew about Charlie having fits of pain in the middle of the night. She was mostly off of pain medicine by now but she still needed it to sleep.

 

Charlie just shrugged and glanced at Santana while they waited to cross the street “She thinks it’s just healing still. I mean I have a metal rod in my leg. My body is still adjusting. She said I would probably have pain there for the rest of my life. Nothing too bad, just dull aching. She said I would probably get used to it and only really notice it if it flairs up for whatever reason.”

 

Santana nodded slowly and put her hand on Charlie’s back as they navigated across the street with a group around them. Once they were on the other side and the bottleneck of people spread out, her hand slowly slid off her. It was hard to keep contact while walking because of Charlie’s crutches. “Is there any chance you won’t have pain forever?”

 

Charlie nodded “Of course. But we just have to wait and see. She says the fact that I have taken every proper step to heal and gone through the right therapy gives me a good chance of complete recovery. But there is always the chance of pain too. So we just have to see what happens.”

 

“Cool” Santana gave a little smile. “I’m glad your stubborn ass wasn’t too stubborn to do the right thing. If I had to deal with you in a wheelchair with a jacked up looking leg forever cause you refused to get any help, I don’t think I would stick around.”

 

“Rude” Charlie turned to look at her with a laugh.

 

“Hey man” Santana shrugged and gave her an amused look. “I’m still hot. I don’t gotta lower my standards for a stubborn ass hat with a crooked leg.”

 

“Wow” Charlie shook her head in amusement and looked forward. “You just showed me a whole new side of you.”

 

Santana just smirked. Truthfully, she would be by Charlie’s side no matter what. She was determined to make this work and she wouldn’t give up until they had exhausted all options. If they tried everything and they still couldn’t make it work then she would give it up. But they were so far from that point so Santana was in. In fact, she was all in. She wasn’t about to admit that to Charlie just yet, though.

 

“Hey” Charlie had stopped in front of Santana and the girl almost tripped over her crutch having been lost in thought. She let out a laugh when Santana looked up a little shocked and she smiled “What you thinking about?”

 

“Lunch” Santana said softly, letting out a laugh. Then she shook her head and remembered they had just promised to be honest with one another. “I was thinking about how I really wouldn’t abandon you if you were stuck in a wheelchair.”

 

“Oh, I know” Charlie said with a little laugh but a look in her eyes that told Santana she had never doubted her for a moment. “Do you want to grab some lunch?”

 

Santana smiled and gave a nod “Definitely. I don’t think I can handle eating Christmas leftovers anymore.”

 

“Ew” Charlie shook her head. “It’s been like two weeks, Rachel needs to throw those out.”

 

“She claims they are still good” Santana rolled her eyes at that. Rachel hated wasting food but sometimes you just had to. She was surprised none of them had gotten food poisoning from Rachel demanding they eat leftovers all the time.

 

“I have no idea how you deal with her all the time. I mean, I love her, but even when we were best friends she got on my nerves sometimes.” Charlie paused and turned to look at Santana now with a smile. 

 

“I love her” Santana shrugged and rolled her eyes “I guess you just put up with the people you love.”

 

“Lucky for us all you have a huge heart” Charlie said softly. She let her eyes linger on Santana a moment, her eyes flickering with just how true her words had been. Santana really was one of the most loving people in the world and the thought that she had thrown that away for her own selfishness killed her. She couldn’t say how lucky she felt knowing that she had not completely lost the chance to have Santana in her life. It really was some sort of miracle in her eyes.

 

“Do you want to eat here?” Santana asked, motioning to the place that Charlie had stopped in front of.

 

Charlie blinked herself out of her thoughts and looked up at the building. She nodded a bit and laughed “Uh, yeah. They’ve got an amazing Italian grinder that I think you’ll love.”

 

“Ohhh” Santana smiled at the thought then nodded before stepping up and reaching for the door. “You know me so well.”

 

Charlie grinned widely at that and worked her way inside “Poor you.”

 

“Poor me indeed” Santana joked as she followed Charlie inside. “Now if I ever want a fresh started I have to kill you.”

 

“Probably” Charlie agreed playfully before leading her to the counter. She looked back over her shoulder and gave her a fond smile before motioning to the menu board. “My treat today for your heroics in the park.”

 

“I’d have started punching people out sooner if I knew I’d get free food” Santana joked and looked up at the board. This was nice, she thought. Just being out and about with Charlie, doing regular things. They had both been cooped up in the loft focusing on Charlie’s leg and Santana’s homework so long that she had almost forgotten what it was like to live life with Charlie. It was definitely something she wanted to do more of. She silently made a promise to get Charlie out of the house and around the city at least once a week now that she wasn’t afraid she was going to fall and hurt herself with every step she took. It seemed things were finally getting back to normal.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	11. Eleven long months

“Could you chew with your mouth closed, please?” Rachel mumbled blandly, not even bothering to look up from the magazine she was scourging. On her left was a pile of magazines with color-coded tabs sticking out. To her right was a pile she had yet to open. She was currently tabbing any detail from any wedding magazine that she liked. She tabbed everything from flowers to hair styles to the color of the moss on the rocks behind the girls posing in wedding dresses. Just in case. She wanted every detail to be perfect.

 

Santana didn’t even bother to look up from where she sat across from Rachel at the table. She was leaning over her bowl of cereal, her eyes focused on her textbook, and her hand scribbling notes on the notepad between bites. She paused her note taking, though, to lift the spoon to her mouth. She shoved an over-sized bite in her mouth then crunched. Each chew was over-dramatic and she made sure to make a smacking, squishy, chewing sound each time her mouth opened and closed.

 

Rachel paused. She set her jaw and slowly lifted her eyes from the dress she had been examining. She looked across the table to Santana and scowled. “I said please.”

 

“I wasn’t chewing with my mouth open” Santana mumbled, looking from her notes to her book then back again. “You just have super sensitive hearing. You could hear a fart from three miles away. You hone in on noise when you are concentrating.”

 

“I do not” Rachel rolled her eyes and looked down again.

 

“Please. When you first got the part for the play and were trying to memorize lines you yelled at me for purposely peeing too loud.”

 

“It was loud!”

 

“That’s because the entire loft was on a mandatory noise lock down!” Santana finally looked up and looked at Rachel now “I didn’t mind because I had to study, but come on Rach, people make noise. Human beings are just incapable of being silent. If you want perfect silence, go hang out with the dead.”

 

Rachel just rolled her eyes. Santana was right. She could be a little demanding when she was concentrating on something. She had grown up with a sound proofed basement. She wasn’t used to the constant noise that life made. What others considered quiet, Rachel considered to be an annoying hum. It was like white noise. It was obnoxious.

 

“What are you looking at anyway?” Santana looked at the piles of magazines then slowly back to her textbook. It was spring break but she wasn’t going to fall behind. She had been playing catch up since taking a few weeks off to help when Charlie first got hurt. She was gonna stay on top of it now that she was finally on track again.

 

“Wedding stuff” Rachel shrugged as she put a tab on a page and wrote a note as to what she was tabbing.

 

“You guys haven’t even set a date” Santana said with a laugh. She wasn’t surprised. For all the relaxing and mellowing out that Rachel had done, she was still over prepared for everything.

 

“I want to be prepared for when we do” Rachel said with a smile.

 

“Of course” Santana laughed and took another bite from her bowl. Just then the loft door slid open and both girls looked up.

 

“Hey!” Charlie swung herself into the door then balanced on a single crutch to slide the door closed. She had gotten so good on the crutches they were like two extra feet now. She made her way over to Santana and leaned down to kiss her before pulling back and frowning a bit “Cute” She motioned to the dribble of milk on the girl’s chin.

 

“You know how it goes” Santana laughed and wiped her chin before turning in her chair to watch Charlie go over to the coffee table and slide her camera off her neck to set it down. “How did it go?”

 

“Great” Charlie turned and moved quickly over to the fridge now, pulling it open and leaning on her crutches as she looked at the choices inside. “They’ve been really cool about this whole thing and now that I am pretty much mobile without restrictions again they are eager to get back to working with me.”

 

“You still have restrictions” Santana motioned to the crutches she was leaning on and laughed. “But it’s cool that they didn’t just replace you.”

 

Charlie rolled her eyes and turned on her crutches. She steadied herself on her good leg and set the crutches to the side. Then proudly she put her injured leg on the floor, both hands on her hips, and stood there with her chin held high. “Check it out” She grinned at the girls widely. “My therapist says I’m close to being back to having full strength. I have to go see a lifting coach a few times a week to work my muscle up but I’m close. As long as I don’t have pain and don’t do anything strenuous, I don’t have to use my crutches regularly.”

 

“Oh Charlie” Rachel stood up and moved over to her friend. She gave her a tight hug then pulled back, holding her at arms length, and looking her over. “I am so proud of you. You have done everything right to get back on your feet, pun intended. You have worked so hard! I can’t wait to have you stand beside me as a bridesmaid.”

 

Charlie perked an eyebrow “Bridesmaid? Are we at that point already?”

 

“Technically, no” Rachel said with a shrug. “But that is something I don’t have to plan. You and Santana will be mine. Britt and Dana will be Quinn’s” She smiled and glanced at Santana then back to Charlie. “Unless you girls are against that?”

 

“Of course not” Charlie said with a laugh. “I just didn’t think you picked a wedding party until you knew when you were getting married.”

 

“Usually not but” Rachel shrugged and gave the girls a smile “You’re my family and there is no doubt who I want standing beside me. I know whether it’s in five days or five years you both will still be in my life.”

 

“Always” Santana nodded with a smile.

 

Charlie agreed with a nod then turned to the fridge again. She started digging through it before finding some leftovers and popping them into the microwave.

 

“Those are mine” Santana frowned a bit.

 

“Oops” Charlie shot her a playful smile then turned back around.

 

Santana just rolled her eyes but smiled before looking back to her book. She didn’t really mind. In fact she had brought them home for Charlie.

 

A silence fell over the kitchen as the girls all settled back into what they had been doing. Rachel flipped through pages, Santana scribbled notes, and Charlie stirred her food once it was done. She leaned against the counter, putting most of the weight on her good leg, and picked at the food she had just made. It was a comfortable silence.

 

“So are Dana and B coming for Easter?” Charlie asked a few minutes later after demolishing half of the leftovers.

 

“They will be here in a couple days” Rachel said without looking up.

 

Charlie nodded then looked down at her leg. She shifted onto her injured one gently then lifted her good one completely. She stood there for a good handful of seconds before putting her good foot back to the floor. She smiled. She couldn’t wait to see them and show them that she was standing on her own. It was little but she knew they would like it. Everyone had been so supportive and she wanted to make sure to show them she appreciated it.

 

Charlie glanced back to the microwave and frowned “Shit” She reached for her crutches as she dropped the container she had been eating out of into the trash. “I have to go.”

 

“Where?” Santana looked up with a frown. “I thought you were home for the day?”

 

Charlie moved quickly back across the loft to grab her camera. She slid the strap over her head then moved over to Santana “They wanted me to help with a layout. Apparently I have an eye for not only good photography but how it should be placed in articles and such.” She leaned down and kissed Santana gently then gave Rachel a little smile. “I won’t be too late. Q gets home tonight, right?”

 

Rachel nodded and gave her a smile “I’m making her favorite dinner.”

 

“I’ll be here” Charlie moved to the door and pushed it open with ease. She paused once she was in the hall, looking back in and giving Santana smile “Don’t forget to take a break from studying and go outside. It’s beautiful today.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes but gave her a soft smile. “Get out of here” She laughed and waved her off as Charlie closed the door. She shook her head in amusement before slowly turning back to her book. That’s when she saw Rachel staring at her with a wide smile. She rolled her eyes so hard she felt like her eyes might come out of her skull before she looked down at her book “What?”

 

Rachel shrugged and held the goofy little grin she had on her lips. “Nothing.”

 

“Mhm” Santana hummed as she turned a page in her book. “I’ve known you way too long for you to start lying to me now, Rachel. What is that stupid look on your face for?”

 

Rachel glanced at the door that Charlie had just gone through then back to Santana with another shrug “You two are just...” She bit her lip and let out a happy sigh “...cute.”

 

“Oh god” Santana let out a soft sigh that was half a laugh before slowly looking back up at Rachel who was still looking at her with that stupid smile. “Stop!” She let out a laugh and fought off a smile of her own. She was happy and she wasn’t sure how to take it.

 

“Things are good” Rachel said softly. “You don’t have to pretend like they aren’t, Santana. You two have worked through a lot. I think it’s for real this time. I see the way you two have been around each other. You’ve both been careful but it hasn’t stopped you two from ending up where you are now.” She folded her arms and leaned against them on the table. “Santana I know you are cautious. It’s been a couple months since you two agreed to take it slow and you have both stuck to your word. Don’t you think it’s some sort of sign?”

 

“A sign of what?” Santana said with a shrug. “A sign that if you stick two people together constantly that it’s kind of inevitable for feelings to grow. A sign that if two people who have history are stuck in close quarters long enough that history starts to repeat itself? A sign of what we’ve all known all along? That Charlie and I still obviously had unresolved feelings for each other?”

 

“A sign that you’re doing the right things” Rachel frowned. “Sweetie, I know you are still very skeptical. It’s been a slow rebuilding process and although both of you have said you are in this, you still have that nagging feeling that everything could crumble again.” She moved around the table and slid her hand along Santana’s arm gently “But things are going good despite all of your worries. You two are doing good and I think you need to let yourself fully enjoy it.”

 

“I do enjoy it” Santana whispered softly. “Things are good and when I am with her it’s like I’m sixteen again. It’s just...” She let out a heavy sigh and set down her pen. She looked up at Rachel slowly and shook her head “She’s getting better. She’s going to be going back to work full time and I’m in school full time and at the lab and what if-”

 

“Santana” Rachel moved to take hold of Santana’s hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “You two were in college in two different states and managed to act like teenagers still.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes “We both know how that ended. And we were broken up half the time.”

 

“You also broke up twice in high school. You two breaking up never really meant anything. You were still crazy about each other and when you got back together it was like no time had passed.”

 

Santana shook her head slightly “I know you’re trying to help but I’m just worried. Paranoid might even be a better word. What if she gets out in the world and doesn’t have to rely on me anymore and, you know” She shrugged and looked down.

 

“Call me crazy or overly optimistic or whatever you will but I really think this time is different.”

 

“How?” Santana shrugged and held her shoulders up for a moment. 

 

Rachel just shrugged and gave a little smile “It’s a feeling I have. It’s the same feeling I got about Charlie the first time we met. I’ve always just kind of been able to know about her. I knew we would be friends, I knew she would change my life, and now I just know that this time is for real.”

 

Santana let out a little sigh and picked her pen back up. She pretended to read over the notes she had taken as she thought over Rachel’s words. She didn’t want to get her hopes up but Rachel had never been wrong about one of her “feelings” before. She licked over her lips slowly then looked back up to Rachel who was watching her intently. “I’m still going to be careful. I don’t want to, I don’t know, do anything that seems pushy and have her suddenly change her mind. I want her to return to work and have her freedom again and after she settles back into her independence see if things are the same.”

 

Rachel nodded her head “I think that’s smart. Don’t push her, give her time to adjust to regular life again, and just be there for her. If she changes her mind, she does” Rachel saw Santana frown and she quickly squeezed her hand “but she won’t. She will realize she wants you to share her life. Things will work out.” When Santana looked like she was about to ask how she knew again Rachel cut her off and smiled “I’ve got a feeling.”

 

“You and your stupid feelings” Santana rolled her eyes but smiled a little. She really hoped Rachel was right. She tossed her pen into her textbook and closed it over, using it as a bookmark of sorts. She stood up and stretched a little before looking back to Rachel and giving a nod toward the door. “Want to go for a walk with me? Charlie was right. If I stay inside all day and study I’ll be no fun by the time dinner rolls around.”

 

“Sure” Rachel grinned and marked the page she was on before shutting her magazine. She reached for her phone and stood up “I have to get a few things for dinner anyway.” She grabbed her bag and slipped shoes on her feet. Once she was ready, Santana and Rachel moved out of the loft and headed into the crisp spring air. Santana was glad Rachel had an errand to run, it let her mind wonder in thought as Rachel ticked things off her list in the store. She hoped Rachel was right. She would never admit how badly she hoped she was right.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

“B!” Santana launched herself off the couch toward her friend when she entered the loft. She wrapped her arms around her tightly and hugged her like her life depended on it. “And baby B!” She said with a laugh, reaching down to touch at Brittany’s stomach once the hug had ended.

 

“We don’t know if it’s a baby B yet” Dana said with a laugh having followed Brittany into the loft with all of the bags in her hands. Brittany was only about four months along but Dana insisted she not lift a single heavy thing.

 

“It’s a baby B” Santana said with a firm nod. “Mexican third eye. It’s never wrong.”

 

“Oh god” Dana rolled her eyes and set her things aside. It was the Friday before Easter and, as promised, they had come for a visit. It was probably the last holiday they could come to New York for before Brittany got too far along to fly so they didn’t want to miss it.

 

“How was the flight?” Charlie asked from the couch.

 

“A flight” Dana shrugged and moved her bags over to the corner where they kept their things whenever they visited. “You know, once the baby is here it’s going to be really awkward having to crash on your fold out sofa bed. We might have to actually stay in a hotel.”

 

“Or we could get a real house” Quinn chimed in from where she had just come out of her bedroom.

 

“By the time the baby comes we will be preparing for your last year at Yale and the potential move to Hartford so getting a new place would be pointless.” Rachel chirped with a smile from the kitchen.

 

“I don’t mind the couch” Brittany said with a smile. “I’m not too big yet that I have trouble sleeping.”

 

“When you come to visit Auntie Tana she is going to spoil you rotten” Santana was leaned down talking to the baby through Brittany’s shirt. There was barely a bump there, hardly noticeable at all, but that didn’t stop Santana from touching, poking, and giving it little kisses.

 

The girls all just stared. It was a shock to see the hardcore, badass bitch that was Santana Lopez reduced to a puddle of gooey baby talk. Of all the girls, none of them expected it would be Santana that was the most excited about being an aunt.

 

Santana realized the room had gone silent and looked up. When she saw everyone’s eyes on her, she frowned and stood up quickly, folding her arms across her chest “What?”

 

A few stifled their laughter and shook their heads. Rachel just smiled before looking back to her cooking. If there was anyone in the group that wasn’t surprised about what a softy Santana was, it was Rachel. Through the years they had gotten the closest. She knew Santana loved kids and would be a great aunt.

 

Santana went and plopped herself on the couch and everyone else started into conversation. The sisters caught up with each other, updating one another on their last conversations with their mother, their jobs, and anything else that they thought a sister might care about. Brittany offered to help Rachel in the kitchen. Santana and Quinn eventually got onto the topic of the Hippocratic oath. All girls were in the same household again and all was right with the world. Through all the chaos their lives brought it was always nice when they managed to gather together. No matter what happened or how much time passed, they would always be family.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Easter morning was the only time that all six girls agreed to go to church together. It wasn’t that most of them were hardcore into any faith but because it was the one day all of the religions they had grown up around seemed to agree on. Plus it was kind of fun for the six of them to get super dressed up. Santana always tried to see what level of slutty she could get away with. Quinn scolded her for it but Dana and Charlie thought it was kind of hilarious.

 

The service was pretty much the same every year and once it was over the real fun began. The girls had made it a tradition that they all pitched in with the meal. So after church they all got back to the loft, stayed in their Sunday best, and went to work. The kitchen turned into a madhouse but in the best way possible. There were several different things being made all at once. It was nice. Like an old school family coming together to feed one another because family was what mattered most.

 

Aside from Brittany elbowing Charlie in the head accidentally and Rachel almost burning the potato pancakes, the meal went pretty smoothly. After they had all eaten and chatted and went for seconds it was time to relax. Most of the girls changed into sweats and hoodies and they all gathered around the tv for the annual Easter viewing of The Ten Commandments. Rachel insisted on it every year no matter how many times Dana and Santana groaned. It was long and boring and most of them were asleep halfway through it. That was kind of the point, though. A nice family nap after a nice family meal.

 

It was nearly dinner time by the time anyone woke from the nap. A few girls made their way back to the kitchen for more food. The best thing about the family meal was that it was big and it was available all day. No need to cook twice. Slowly everyone came to life again and now there was soft chatter through the loft. Dana was kicked back on the couch, a plate of food in her lap. Brittany was next to her, still a little sleepy, but watching whatever was on the tv now. Rachel was cleaning the dishes that were dirty and Santana had started packing away some of the food while snacking on it at the same time.

 

“Hey guys?” Charlie cleared her throat from where she stood leaning on her crutches. When all eyes landed on her, she gave them all a soft smile. “I just wanted to say how nice today was. I really do enjoy our holidays together.” She looked around the room and shrugged before looking down at her feet. “I also wanted to say thank you for putting up with me these past few months. I know they have been Hell, especially for Santana and Rachel” She glanced at the two of them for a moment. “But none of you let me give up and let me believe anything but the best in myself and I just wanted to say that means a lot to me.”

 

“If we were going to give up on you for being an asshole we would have done it years ago” Dana called out with a smirk. She got a sharp elbow from Brittany and grunted. “Shit, it was a joke.”

 

“I know” Charlie said with a laugh. “I really don’t deserve sisters or friends like you.” She looked around the room and shrugged before locking eyes with Santana. She gave her a nod then shifted onto her good leg slightly.

 

Santana’s eyes went wide and she suddenly knew what Charlie was doing. She reached out and quickly gathered the crutches when they were handed over and put a hand on her shoulder to make sure she was alright.

 

Charlie nodded and shifted her weight to her injured leg, taking a step away from Santana now. She turned and looked at Dana and Brittany on the couch, then to Quinn who was kicked back on the recliner. She took a few tentative steps then stood in the middle of the room proudly.

 

“Holy shit” Dana said with a laugh. “You leg isn’t all jacked up anymore.”

 

“Well I still have some strengthening to do but” Charlie looked down and nodded “Yeah, it’s not jacked up anymore.”

 

“Oh Charlie” Quinn cooed softly and got off the chair. She went over to her sister and gave her a tight hug. “I am so proud of you.”

 

“Thanks” Charlie whispered softly. She reached down and rubbed a hand over her thigh and shrugged “If I didn’t have all of your support I would have probably just let it heal however it healed. But I kept thinking about how much I’d put you all through and how much love you continued to show me and if I just let myself wallow away in self pity I would be taking advantage of that. So I wanted to show you what your strength meant to me.” She looked up again and nodded around the room “I know it’s just a broken leg but it’s kind of a metaphor for everything we’ve been through. Here we are, stronger than ever. And here I am, still standing.”

 

Santana moved over to Charlie and slid her arm around her waist. She could tell by the little wobble in her leg that she was about to ask for her crutches back. So instead she made it look like she just wanted to hold the girl. She let her lean into her then kissed the side of her head “We are all proud of you.”

 

“Will you be totally healed by the time the baby comes?” Brittany asked softly.

 

Charlie nodded and gave her a smile “I am going to be the first one to hold that baby and you better believe it won’t be while I’m leaning on crutches. I plan on ditching those things fully by the end of the month.”

 

This got a smile from Brittany and Dana both. It was just a stupid leg but it really was something special. Charlie had rebounded. She was back to her old self and there really wasn’t a doubt in the world that she was back for good.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana sat on the edge of her bed, hands sliding over her skin, smoothing in the lotion she had spread all over her skin. Most of the girls had called it an early night, which suited her just fine. She still had a few essays to write and definitely needed to get in more lab time before spring break was over with. So she had bid everyone goodnight, taken a shower, and was now getting ready to settle into bed. She would probably read a little before she actually fell asleep but she was going to do that from the comfort of her bed.

 

She had just settled back against the wall behind her bed, book in lap, glasses on, when Charlie came into the room. She looked up and gave the girl a smile before looking back to her book “You ready to call it a night, too?”

 

“Just about” Charlie said with a nod. She had a tank top and sweats on, a towel wrapped around her head, having showered after Santana, and was leaning over the desk that Santana had cleared out for her to keep her things in, looking for her brush. When she found it, she leaned over and let the towel slide from her head, tossing it onto the bed, then brushed her hair gently. “What are you reading?”

 

“History of stitching” Santana mumbled, not looking up.

 

“Are you serious?” Charlie straightened up, tilting her head to the side to continue pulling the brush through her hair as she sat on the edge of the bed now.

 

“No” Santana laughed softly. “It’s not really called that but it should be. It’s so boring. If I wanted to know how every stitch was invented I would have looked it up myself.”

 

“Yeah well I’m sure it will come in handy one day” Charlie stood now and put her brush back onto the desk then turned around to look at Santana. She gave her a little smile and slowly made her way back to the bed, lifting her knee now to actually crawl onto it instead of just sitting on the edge. She moved right up next to Santana and sat so her feet was near Santana’s waist, facing her. Well, facing the back of the book Santana was reading, but still.

 

Santana perked an eyebrow and glanced over the book then smiled and went back to the text. She was quiet for a moment and when Charlie just seemed to be staring at her, she let out a sigh and slowly lowered the book. “What’s up, Chuck?”

 

“Nothing” Charlie shrugged, reaching out now to gently massage her leg. It was a bit sore. She had been working on walking without crutches most of the day and now she was feeling just how weak her muscle still was. She looked at Santana with a soft smile and motioned to the book “It just reminds me of when we were both in college. Except I was usually the one trying to study and you were the one trying to distract me.”

 

Santana let out a soft laugh, nodding at the memories “Are you saying you are trying to distract me?”

 

Charlie smirked a bit but shook her head “You drew that conclusion yourself. I was just saying I was reminded of those times.”

 

“Mhm” Santana perked and eyebrow and closed her book. She turned and set it on her bedside table because she had the feeling that she wasn’t going to be getting much reading done. It seemed like Charlie had something on her mind. “Well you have my full attention now so you couldn’t even distract me if you wanted to.”

 

“I didn’t want to” Charlie said with a laugh and folded her legs in front of her now. She grinned at Santana and the two of them were locked in a bit of a stare down for a minutes. Charlie finally blinked, rolled her eyes, and motioned with her hand “I like the glasses. When did you start using those?”

 

“I’ve always had them” Santana shrugged and slid them off her eyes and up to the top of her head. “I just never use them. But I’ve come to appreciate the fact that I can take my contacts out, get into bed, and still see the book I am reading. I am becoming an old lady already.”

 

“Whatever” Charlie smiled and scooted closer to her now. She reached out and slid the glasses off Santana’s head and back down over her eyes “Keep them on. I like them.”

 

“Keep them on for what?” Santana looked at her curiously. There was definitely something going on in Charlie’s mind. “What is going on with-”

 

Santana was cut off when Charlie leaned forward and captured her lips in a firm kiss. That had been unexpected. She wasn’t upset, though. She smiled against her lips and lifted a hand to the back of her head, holding her there, and enjoying the feel of the kiss. She had promised Rachel she would start enjoying it more anyway.

 

Charlie let the kiss linger for a few moments before she shifted on the bed until she was now leaning into Santana. Her hip was pressed to Santana’s, their chests crossing, and her hand over Santana’s waist, holding up her weight on the mattress at Santana’s side. Her lips parted and the soft lingering kiss now turned a bit more desperate. 

 

Santana was a little surprised by the turn the kiss had taken. She let out a soft moan and slowly pulled back from it, much to Charlie’s dismay. She bit her lip and her hand slid from out of her hair, brushing her thumb on Charlie’s cheek “Not that I am complaining, because I’m not, but where did that come from?”

 

Charlie licked at her lips slowly but didn’t speak. She moved again, this time sliding her leg over Santana’s lap, and bringing herself to a full on straddle. She gently rested her weight on Santana’s thighs, her knees bent against the mattress on either side of Santana. She lifted her hand to Santana’s lips and pressed a finger there, giving her a gentle smile “Shhh” She hushed her softly then leaned in to kiss her again, this one softer than the desperate one from just a moment ago.

 

Santana was about to ask what Charlie was doing but she was stopped by her finger and then her lips. She was confused but at the same time didn’t care. Her mind was a little too preoccupied by the kissing and the fact that Charlie’s body was now pressed tightly to her own. So she let her hands slowly move along Charlie’s legs and up to her hip before curving up along her sides. She let her hands and fingers take in the shape of the girl now sitting on her lap.

 

Charlie wasn’t really sure what had come over her. All she knew was the entire day she couldn’t get Santana out of her mind. The two of them had been going slow, taking it easy, and very much avoiding anything physical outside of kissing. Suddenly that just wasn’t enough for Charlie and it had been driving her mad all day. She needed Santana. She wasn’t sure why now, all she knew was it had to be now.

 

Santana felt Charlie’s hips push down and grind into her a bit and that sent a shiver through her body. She wasn’t sure where this was coming from and as much as she liked it she also couldn’t fully enjoy it. She had to pull back from the kiss and bring her hands to Charlie’s hips to stop more movements. Her eyes opened and she looked at the girl on top of her, speaking a little breathlessly when she did “What are you doing?”

 

Charlie bit at her bottom lip and looked right into Santana’s eyes. She couldn’t tell if the girl was upset or not. Finally she just shrugged and offered a soft smile “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all day. I just....” She licked her lips and leaned in to whispered against Santana’s ear “need you.”

 

A shiver danced through Santana’s spine at the mix of Charlie’s words and the feel of her warm breath against her ear. Her fingers that gripped at Charlie’s hips closed more tightly around her and pulled her closer. Her eyes shifted and she glanced over Charlie’s body on top of her before slowly looking back up to her eyes. “Are you sure it’s okay? I mean with your leg and all?”

 

Charlie nodded quickly, her hand moving to slide through Santana’s hair then down the back of her neck “I asked my therapist. She said as long as there was no pain I was free to do whatever felt comfortable.”

 

Santana nodded slowly as goosebumps prickled on the back of her neck where Charlie had touched. Her body suddenly went warm and she realized exactly what the girl was saying. They could be as physical as they wanted. Suddenly Santana was nervous. She thought about the last time they had been together, how Santana had tried to revenge fuck Charlie and ended up leaving her in the middle because her emotions had gotten the best of her. She wasn’t sure she was ready. What if she couldn’t get that image out of her head?

 

It was almost like Charlie could read Santana’s thoughts just by the look on her face. She leaned down gently and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose before moving her hand to cup at her face “It’s okay” She whispered softly. When Santana met her gaze, she greeted her with an understanding smile “You won’t hurt me.” She knew Santana wasn’t worried about hurting her, at least not physically. She could tell the girl was nervous about how this might effect her emotionally.

 

“I’m nervous” Santana admitted with a soft laugh. 

 

“Don’t be” Charlie nodded, cupping her face in both hands now and pulling her lips up into a soft kiss. “We can go slow. If it doesn’t feel right to you, we can stop.”

 

Santana nodded and licked over her lips again. It was funny how Charlie was speaking to her. It reminded her of their first time. She smiled at the thought. It was almost like a first time for them. First time since her accident. First time since getting back together. The first time since Charlie had cheated. Santana took a deep breath and shook that thought away. She couldn’t think about that, not now.

 

Charlie offered her a loving smile and her hand dropped from Santana’s cheek to her neck again. Her fingers brushed up and down there gently, her eyes never once leaving the girl. She was trying to read her mind, see into her thoughts. She wanted to know how she felt. “What’s going on in that head of yours? If you’re not ready-”

 

“No” Santana said quickly. She gave Charlie a smile and leaned up to kiss her gently. “I’m ready. I guess I am just a little surprised is all. I definitely didn’t expect this tonight.”

 

Charlie smiled and dropped her hands to Santana’s waist now “I wanted to surprise you.”

 

“Color me surprised” Santana nodded as her hands circled Charlie’s waist and pulled her a little closer. She looked her over slowly then nodded as their eyes met once more. She took a deep breath and licked her lips “I’m ready, though. I am so ready.”

 

Charlie let out a laugh, nodding a bit as she leaned down again “Good I was hoping you’d say that.” The last of her words tapered off as her lips caught Santana’s again. This time she was a little less polite about it, now that Santana knew her intentions. The kiss was still slow and gentle, but there was more of a determination behind it.

 

Santana let out a soft moan into the kiss. Her hands that gripped Charlie’s hips pulled tighter then let her go. Immediately her fingers pushed up the back of Charlie’s tank top and found her warm, smooth skin. Her fingertips went to work on re-memorizing the dips and curves of her back. It was like she had felt her skin like this just moments ago and yet it felt like it had been an entire lifetime at the same time.

 

A shiver danced up Charlie’s spine at the feel of Santana’s fingers on her skin. No one’s touch had ever made her feel more alive and ignited all of her nerves like Santana’s did. A soft moan passed through her lips and into the kiss. She tilted her head to the side and deepened the kiss now, showing just how badly she needed her. Her hips pushed down into Santana and a jolt ripped through her body. Every single inch of her body that touched Santana’s was on fire.

 

When Charlie pressed into her more firmly, Santana let out a loud groan. Her fingers curled and dug into the skin on Charlie’s back for a moment. She was starting to tremble with need. She had wanted to go slowly because of nerves but that was melting away and being replaced by pure need. Her hands moved quickly and bunched up the material of the tank top Charlie wore, pulling it up, and smiling when Charlie didn’t resist it passing off her arms and over her head. As soon as the shirt was gone, Santana broke the kiss and surged forward, capturing a nipple between her lips.

 

Charlie’s back arched and a groan rolled out of her throat. Goosebumps danced all over her body as pleasure ripped through her. It was amazing how a simple movement could make her body feel so amazing. A hand dropped into Santana’s hair and she pulled slightly, letting her know just how good her mouth felt against her body.

 

Santana let out a moan at the pull to her hair. Everything Charlie did was driving her insane. As her mouth tugged and sucked against Charlie’s nipple, her hands moved along her bare back, down her sides, and to the waist of the sweats Charlie wore. She pulled at them fiercely, almost frustrated by the fact they didn’t come down. When Charlie lifted a bit to help, Santana decided she had no patience for that. She just pushed her hand inside the waistband and immediately between Charlie’s legs. She gave a visible shiver when she felt just how wet Charlie was.

 

A gasp slipped from Charlie’s lips and her eyes came open as she looked down between their bodies. She smiled as the sight of Santana’s mouth against her breast. The feel of that mixed with Santana’s fingers teasing against her was all almost too much to bear. She needed her so much. She needed to feel like everything they had worked through was for something. She needed to feel like their new beginning had been right. It felt right. And now she needed Santana’s body to tell her own body that it was right. “San” She moaned out, her hips pushed down against her teasing fingers “Please.”

 

Santana’s eyes lifted and her mouth let Charlie’s nipple slip away. She smiled when she looked up and their eyes locked. It was for just a split second but that moment said everything. They needed this. This moment was destined to be. This really was right. The split second passed and the understanding gaze they shared was broken when Santana’s fingers curled and she thrust inside Charlie with such fervor it forced the girl to throw her head back in pleasure.

 

Charlie’s breath caught in her throat and she leaned back on Santana’s lap when she felt her fingers fill her. A tremble ripped through her and all strength she had was melting away quickly. She had wanted to feel Santana’s body, let her fingers roam and be consumed with her skin, but all thought of that was gone now as pleasure coursed through her each time Santana pushed into her. She reached back and steadied herself on both hands against the mattress now. She moved her hips back and forth, matching the pace that Santana was thrusting into her with.

 

Santana licked her lips at the sight of Charlie writhing above her. When every thrust of her fingers inside her, Charlie’s body twitched, and it was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Her free hand moved now to slide along Charlie’s stomach, up her chest, and around her neck. She curled her fingers and dug her nails into her skin, holding her there like that for a moment. Then her hand started to pump within her more quickly. At the change of pace her fingers were slowly dragged down Charlie’s body, leaving a trail of red marks from her neck to her stomach. Santana smirked at that. She had always loved leaving marks. It was a reminder of who had made her feel so good.

 

“Jesus” Charlie groaned out as her body arched into Santana’s nails. It didn’t hurt, it never hurt. She loved the way each nerve ignited under the scratches. Her eyes managed to come open and her head came forward a bit. Even through the thundering pace that her body was bouncing on top of Santana, she managed to catch the girl’s eyes and give her a moment. It was a tender moment shared in the midst of a ravenous feast between the girls.

 

Santana caught Charlie’s eyes and smirked. She was so beautiful. With each desperate thrust inside her, Santana’s fingers now curled, finding the spot that felt like home. The spot she knew was for her and her alone. The one that would drive Charlie over the edge. Each time her fingers plunged into her more firmly, Charlie would breathe out a moan, and Santana would smile. It was music to her ears. She was over come by the pure ecstasy and moved her free hand now to the back of Charlie’s head. She slowly pulled her forward until their lips crashed into one another, her tongue diving inside her just like her fingers were doing at the same time.

 

Charlie wasn’t sure how she had lasted this long. Her sheer need for Santana had nearly drove her insane. Being near Santana had nearly caused her to explode. The fact that she had managed to hang on this long with Santana inside her was a miracle. But when Santana locked eyes with her then pulled her into a kiss, that was the last straw. Her hips slammed down a few more times onto Santana’s hand and she was done for. Her body felt almost paralyzed as pleasure took hold of her. Even as she froze, Santana’s hand continued to move and that was what brought her over the edge. It was like a wave crashing down. Her entire body went warm from her scalp to her toes until finally the knot that had twisted in the pit of her stomach untangled in a jubilant release of pleasure.

 

Santana smirked against the kiss as she felt Charlie’s body tighten around her fingers. She did her best to continue thrusting inside her until it was physically impossible. Her hand came to a rest and she took in the feel of Charlie throbbing around her fingers until slowly the grip was loosened. That was when she pulled from the kiss. She held the smirk as her eyes focused on Charlie. Finally her fingers slid from within her and she let out a grunt before laughing softly. She kissed the bottom of Charlie’s chin, then along her neck, and across her shoulder before finally looking up to catch Charlie’s eyes again. She didn’t say anything, she just let Charlie breathe and come down from what her body had just experienced.

 

Charlie’s chest burned as she drew in breath after breath. Her entire body was trembling still. She was trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened. All she knew was that was exactly what she had needed. She had needed to simply be with Santana at the very rawest level. When she finally caught her breath, she offered Santana a weak smile. A hand lifted to her cheek and she leaned down gently to kiss her. “For what it’s worth, you definitely didn’t seem nervous to me.”

 

Santana couldn’t help but laugh. She nodded her head and touched a kiss to Charlie’s lips before shrugging slightly “I guess my natural instincts took over once I got back into my natural habitat.”

 

“Oh god” Charlie rolled her eyes and swatted lazily at Santana’s shoulder. “You do not live in my vagina.”

 

“I could” Santana said seriously but the smirk on her face said she was just trying to get a reaction out of Charlie.

 

“Unbelievable” Charlie giggled and leaned down to kiss her again. She licked at her lips as she pulled back then let out a heavy sigh. Her fingers lifted and she ran them through Santana’s hair slowly before catching her gaze and nodding “I missed you.”

 

Santana drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly before returning the nod “I missed you too.”

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.


	12. Epilogue

_ Two years later... _

 

Santana let out a heavy sigh as she paced around the small dressing room. She was wringing her hands together and mumbling to herself. She could swear she could hear a clock ticking obnoxiously loud somewhere near here, which was weird considering the makeshift dressing room was outside. 

 

Rachel let out a laugh when she stepped out from behind the changing screen and saw her friend pacing. “What are you doing?”

 

Santana stopped and looked up at her friend. She gave her a soft smile and shrugged “I was waiting for you.”

 

“I meant why are you pacing?” Rachel rolled her eyes and moved to look into the standing mirror.

 

“I’m nervous” Santana said with a shrug. “I thought that was obvious. Thus, the pacing.”

 

“Don’t be nervous” Rachel said sweetly as she leaned into the mirror to make sure her hair still looked good. Heaven forbid it were to go flat before the ceremony.

 

“I can’t help it” Santana gave a sheepish shrug and looked down at where her hands wrung together. “You know I don’t have the best track record at weddings. What if something goes wrong?”

 

Rachel let out a soft laugh and turned to her friend. She took a few steps to her and reached out to take her hands so she would stop fidgeting with them. “Look at me” Rachel nodded, waiting until Santana looked up at her to smile. “Everything is going to be fine. It’s a beautiful day, there is about to be a beautiful wedding, and you look beautiful too.” She gave her friend’s hands a squeeze “You have nothing to worry about.” She stepped back now and lifted the sides of her dress in her hands, turning side to side and shrugging “Not to steal your thunder, but how do I look?”

 

Santana rolled her eyes and let out a laugh softly “You look stunning, Rachel.” She reached out her arm to her friend and nodded “Are you ready for this?”

 

“Born ready” Rachel said with a nod. She slid her arm into Santana’s, took a deep breath, then pushed the dressing room door open. It was almost time to begin.

 

After getting the cue from Santana, the band started up, and everyone turned their eyes toward the beginning of the aisle. The crowd stood and everyone waited in anticipation for the soon-to-be bride to appear. It was a few beats into the song before Rachel and Santana finally appeared arm in arm.

 

The girls looked around at the smiling faces of their family and loved ones that had come to support the marriage that day as they made their way slowly to the alter. Santana’s eyes flickered forward and she couldn’t fight the smile that came to her lips when she saw Charlie standing at the front. She looked gorgeous.

 

Rachel bit at her lip as they drew closer to the front. Suddenly, she was nervous. She knew she shouldn’t be, but she was. Her stomach was doing flips with every step she took and when her eyes shifted to look at Quinn, she thought she might stumble. Luckily she didn’t and she was glad for that. That would have been really embarrassing.

 

As the girls reached the front and the music died down, the man at the front who was officiating over the ceremony looked between Santana and Rachel and gave a soft smile “Who gives this woman away to be joined in marriage today?”

 

Santana took a deep breath and looked at Rachel. She nodded at her friend then took her hand. Giving it a squeeze she turned to the man and smiled “I do”. She turned toward Quinn and offered the hand to the blonde with a nod “Don’t make me regret it, Q.” She let out a laugh and watched Rachel’s hand slide into Quinn’s.

 

Rachel had made the decision to not have her fathers give her away at her wedding. She knew it was traditional, and she loved her fathers dearly, but instead of choosing between them, or having them both walk her down the aisle, she had opted to have her best friend do it. Nothing about her was traditional. Nothing about her and Santana’s friendship was traditional. They were like sisters and it meant the world to her to have Santana be the one giving her away. It just felt right.

 

Santana stepped to Rachel’s left and joined Charlie on her side as her second bridesmaid. She glanced at Charlie with a little smirk then reached over and took her hand gently. She gave it a soft squeeze then turned her attention to the man as he called for everyone to take a seat.

 

Dana and Brittany stood to Quinn’s right. Dana held tightly to a blonde headed toddler who was squirming with all his might to get out of her grip. She had to hold his binkie to his mouth so he would stop spitting it out. As the man greeted everyone and thanked them for coming to witness Quinn and Rachel pledging their love to one another, Dana bounced the boy in her arms, making faces at him to get him to stay still.

 

“I have heard their love story and it warms my heart. Getting to know these two in preparation of uniting them as one, I have gotten to know what it means to have two hearts beating as one. I have met a lot of couples and though I didn’t doubt the strength of their love, none of them compared to what these two share.” The man gave both Rachel and Quinn a nod then motioned for them to face each other. “I would try and define love for you all and what it means to swear to love each other forever, but I couldn’t do it as beautifully as these two could. So, ladies, if you will.”

 

Quinn nodded and took a deep breath. She looked at Rachel with a smile and licked at her lips softly. “I wrote and re-wrote what I wanted to say to you and, trust me, it was good. But it also sounded way too rehearsed and almost like I was defending someone on trial so instead I decided to wing it, which I know you try to preach against.” She paused for a laugh from their guests before continuing with a nod. “I am the first to tell anyone that loving you was the last thing I ever thought I would do. But as much as I tried not to, I couldn’t stop. I think that there are very few truths in this world, truths that are unchanging no matter where you go or what you believe in. The sun rises in the East and sets in the West. Two plus two equals four. And you and I are meant to be together. As long as this world turns, you and I will be together. And as much as that used to terrify me, now it’s the single most exhilarating thing in the world. I am so lucky to call you mine.”

 

Santana bit at her lip and her hand gave Charlie’s a squeeze again. Her heart was thundering in her chest. She could feel the truth of Quinn’s words so heavily. Her eyes shifted to the side and glanced at Charlie. A smile rose on the corner of her lips and she had to draw in a deep breath to keep herself focused as she looked back to Rachel and Quinn.

 

Rachel was a mess at Quinn’s words. She was a sucker for weddings and here she was at her own, crying when she needed to be making a speech to Quinn. She drew in a deep breath and shook her head as a hand lifted to wipe at her eye. “Quinn Fabray how dare you leave me speechless on the most important day of our lives.” The group of people who all knew Rachel started laughing. 

 

Quinn gave a soft laugh and dropped her head with a little nod. “Sorry about that, sweetheart.”

 

“I forgive you” Rachel said with a soft laugh as she tried to stifle her tears long enough to speak. She cleared her throat then reached out to take Quinn’s hand again and nodded. “I guess the fact that you left me speechless speaks volumes to how good we are for one another. I am the only one who has ever made you face your fears and you are the only one who has ever been able to shut me up. In the best way possible.” She gave Quinn’s hands a soft squeeze before continuing “And now that I have rambled on as I always do, I am going to throw out the speech I had previously prepared and just say that I love you, Quinn. I love you more than I have ever loved anything in this world, including Broadway and myself.” Again laughter rose from the group of onlookers.

 

Santana smirked. She glanced at Charlie who was laughing too. Everyone knew just how much Rachel loved herself.

 

Rachel bit her lip and let out a happy sigh “I can’t wait to love you for the rest of my life.”

 

The man officiating gave a soft smile then looked up at the group watching. He motioned to the two girls and nodded softly “As I said, they are the definition of love. The only thing I have to add is a little advice. Don’t go to bed angry. It sounds cliche but there are no truer words. So remember that as the years go by and the little things you love about each other turn into arguments. Just remember that it’s easier to apologize and start the day off on each others team than it is to sleep away the problem. Because that problem will still be there in the morning.”

 

“No shit” Santana mumbled to herself. 

 

Charlie laughed softly. No truer words, indeed.

 

“So without further ado” The man motioned to the girls in front of him. “Quinn, do you swear to love Rachel until the day you die, no matter what? Are you willing to face each day with her by your side?”

 

Quinn nodded, giving a tight squeeze to Rachel’s hand “I do.”

 

“And Rachel? Do you swear to love Quinn until the day you die, no matter what? Are you willing to face each day with her by your side?”

 

“I do” Rachel said softly, her head nodding quickly. Her eyes were shining with the love she held for the girl. She couldn’t believe this day was finally here.

 

“Then by the power bestowed upon me by the state, I now pronounce you wife and wife. Now, let’s see a kiss.”

 

The group all started to clap as Rachel and Quinn stepped together. Their lips touched gently but there was no doubt that they had both waited for this kiss their entire lives. Quinn’s hand lifted to rest on Rachel’s cheek, holding her there for a few moments before they finally broke apart. Quinn took Rachel’s hand and they headed back down the aisle, through their loved ones clapping, until they disappeared as if riding into the sunset.

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

 

Santana laughed softly as she caught the toddler after tossing him in the air. He gave a high pitched squeal and buried his face in Santana’s neck.

 

“Who knew you would be so good with him?” Dana said with a soft laugh as she took a bite from her fork. The reception was in full swing and everyone was mingling. Dana pushed her now back-to-blonde hair off her face and offered the toddler in Santana’s arms a bite. “You should totally move back to Lima and babysit for us all the time.”

 

Santana gave a laugh and bounced the boy in her arms, making an overly happy face when he smiled at the food in his hand. “Tell your mom she is loco if she thinks I am ever leaving New York.”

 

“It was worth a shot” Dana said with a laugh. She looked at her empty plate then at Santana “You alright with him for a minute? I need more food.”

 

“Of course” Santana smiled, giving him his pacifier and nodding “You are just fine in Auntie Tana’s arms, aren’t you baby boy?”

 

“If I didn’t know any better I would think you were planning on kidnapping him” Charlie came up behind her and gave a soft laugh. She stepped around and looked at her nephew, making a silly face, before holding her arms out to him. He immediately leaned over and Charlie smirked as she took him from Santana “Aw looks like little Ollie bear likes Auntie Charlie more.”

 

“He thinks you’re his mom” Santana said with an eye roll, laughing as she rubbed the boy’s back. She ran her hand through his blonde hair and shook her head lightly “He looks so much like the two of them it’s insane. Are you sure you Fabray girls don’t produce sperm?”

 

“You tell me” Charlie said with a smirk.

 

“Perm!” Ollie chirped with a wide smile on his lips.

 

Santana gasped and covered her mouth. She tried not too laugh but to no avail. She shook her head and put his pacifier back in his mouth “No buddy what have I told you. Never repeat what Auntie Tana says.”

 

“What are you teaching him now?” Quinn asked with a smile as she approached them.

 

“Nothing” Santana let out a laugh and pushed his unruly hair off his eyes.

 

“Another bad word” Charlie said, bouncing the boy in her arms a few times.

 

“I expect nothing less” Quinn smirked. She reached out and pinched his cheek playfully “Don’t listen to Auntie Tana. She is no good.”

 

“Hey” Santana laughed, making a funny face at the baby “Tell them to be nice to me, Ollie!”

 

“Be nice to Santana” Brittany said with a smile. As soon as Ollie heard his mother’s voice, he reached out for her. Brittany took him into her arms and kissed his cheek before looking at everyone else. “Why were we being mean to Santana this time?”

 

“Just giving her a hard time about accidentally teaching Ollie bad words.” Charlie said with a shrug.

 

“Tattle tell” Santana grunted and folded her arms with a pout.

 

Brittany let out a soft laugh and looked at the baby in her arms. “I think you’re safe. He usually forgets he even knows the word until he hears Dana say it. Then he doesn’t stop repeating it for days on end.”

 

“It’s a real party starter at day care” Dana said with a nod after rejoining the group with a new plate of food. She kissed the side of Brittany’s head then offered Ollie a grape.

 

“What are we talking about ladies?” Rachel asked, her hand sliding into Quinn’s. The girls all stood in a little circle now and though there was family all about for them to be mingling with, none of them seemed to care. 

 

“Dana and Santana’s affinity for swearing around children” Charlie grinned then reached across the circle to hug Rachel tightly. “I never got a chance to say how pretty you looked in your dress today.”

 

“Thank you” Rachel nodded and stepped back as the broke apart from the hug. “You looked amazing too. You all did.”

 

“You only say that cause you picked all of our dresses” Santana said with a soft laugh.

 

“I am just thankful none of you argued about being in a dress” Rachel smiled and looked over at Dana.

 

Dana shrugged and rolled her eyes, offering another grape to her son “I told you I wouldn’t die and I didn’t. I can look like a lady every now and then.”

 

“Well I am thankful for that” Rachel reached out to take Quinn’s hand again and nodded “We both are.” She looked at Santana and a smirk came to her lips “Also, I’d like to point out that you escaped this wedding completely unscathed.”

 

Santana’s jaw dropped. She couldn’t believe Rachel would call her out like that. When everyone looked at her, she folded her arms and scowled. “Oh whatever” She rolled her eyes and let out a sigh “Can you blame me for being worried. The last two weddings I attended ended in complete tragedy for me!”

 

“And me” Charlie said with a little nod. She reached out and nudged Santana gently before taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “But now is the time to change the tradition, right?”

 

“She’s right” Quinn said with a nod, sliding her arm around Rachel. “I mean, look, you two have been together for two straight years without breaking up. I think it’s safe to say you’ve broken old habits.”

 

Santana rolled her eyes but laughed. It was true. The past two years had been better than any in her life. She enjoyed the memories that she and Charlie shared in high school because, well, you only got one chance at being a teenager in love. But she was enjoying being a mature adult in love so much more.

 

“Look at us all, actually” Brittany said with a nod as she looked around the circle. “Who would have thought that the six of us would end up here after all these years? I mean Dana and I have solid careers, a good marriage, and a kid. Quinn is a powerful lawyer at New York’s best law firm, Rachel is a Tony nominated Broadyway star, and they are finally married...” She smiled and gave Quinn a little nudge with her shoulder. “And Charlie and Santana finally stopped fighting long enough to realize they were perfect for each other, too.”

 

“Hey, maybe it’s finally time for you two to tie the knot and complete the circle we have going on” Rachel grinned, bouncing on her toes a bit in excitement.

 

Santana and Charlie turned to look at each other. Both of them raised and eyebrow as if contemplating it for a moment. Then they both smirked, looked back at the girls around them, and at the same time shook their heads “Nah!”

 


End file.
